TheComfortCorner | V.8

[eli sunday]

Why am I like this? My fake happiness around people is starting to fade. I hate this so much

[- ; bonk!]

i just want to freeze time
or go back
i don't want to move forward like this
i want a retry

[skyline]

(another thing that isn't important, i felt the need to rant about the strange dreams i've been having i guess)

my dreams have all been very strange lately.. they go from being something really cool to switching to something that terrifies me later in the same dream. the strange part is.. a lot of my more recent ones have been in a similar setting. last night i dreamt my mom was driving me to california...? i don't understand why we were driving and not flying.. but the highways we were on were super high up in the air. then we stopped at a grocery store and my mom passed out in the elevator?? i remember being really scared. and the elevator looked unfinished and sketchy. it's strange.. the part i remember most of it is that elevator, there were boxes off to the side and a bunch of strings looked like they were holding it together.. but as i was about to drag my mom out of the elevator she woke up and we went grocery shopping as normal...? i remember being extremely paranoid and dysphoric because i had no makeup on, (i have absolutely terrible acne that no cream has been able to treat) then i guess we went home and i grabbed my earbuds.. then my grandma was alive watching my siblings? they were a lot younger, and yet i was the same age.

another time i had a similar dream, my mom and i were driving on a really high up glass road i think it was? when we got to the airport our tickets had expired and we couldn't get on the plane. i forgot where we were going though, i remember being really disappointed i think?

i could go into more detail about other dreams, and i've had, i guess that's why it's a little alarming? i've had a bunch of dreams very similar to each other, not all of them have been super recent though.

[molotov]

I've been reluctant to say anything
but at this point i don’t know what else to do anymore...
things have been growing more and more hostile as days go by
and he has been becoming worse and worse
it’s enough that i criticise myself to the point of despising my very existence
i don’t need him to judge me too. I don’t need him to tell me I can’t do anything right
to look at me like I’m useless..
does he even know how much stress and self doubt he causes me? I’m in so much pain
but I can’t show it
I need to lie to myself and tell myself everything’s okay
even though it isn’t
because if I try to stand up for myself
or show any signs of sadness or anger twords him
I’ll get punished for it
everyone will
And I can’t bear to see my mother cry again
I don’t want my little brother to be ignored by him anymore
so no matter what i just need to keep on smiling
not for myself, but for the sake of my family.
I love my mom and my brother too much to watch them suffer
I need to be there for them.
i can’t give in.

[eli sunday]

I need to make some money. My father's car was parked and got hit. Tire and metal thing destoryed. Somehow the tire and thing did this weird move and the bottom of the care is messed up. Over one. thousand. dollars. to get everything fixed. I don't have that money! W-We don't have that kind of money. Now he has to stay home today which is just great (not).

[2246]

oh okay so i lose everything including videos, photos, and god knows what since 2014.
and no way to get it back? i have memories there of a deceased relative and deceased pets...
okay...

[Arlecchino ♡]

i don't know how much longer i can pretend to be okay when i have no one on my side. i know i should be better at being independent at this point but god it's so much harder on my own.

it's tiring just getting up in the morning, knowing i have to face another day in a place i feel like i don't belong. i don't know if i belong anywhere at all.

[kitty teeth]

I still miss him and love him even after he told me I wasn't enough.

[Purrycatxox]

Ok, so, I had a good friend. A real. Good. Friend. And i’ve known them a pretty long time. I’m saying ‘’them’’ because they are non binary.

Anyway, they’ve ranted and vented at me for god knows how long, and being the friend I was, got them counseling, and listened. I tried everything I could physically and mentally to help them.


And last night they decided they didn’t want to be my friend anymore due to being ’’more immature than them’’. You know, by saying this you are acting immature, right?!


I mean, yes i’m more immature. I’m younger than them. By a few years. And what pisses me off, is they didn’t say this in person. They said it over text.



If you dont have the balls to speak to me in person and say this to my face, get out of my life you coward. I have literally spent my time to help you, and you throw me away like garbage.

I could’ve been worrying about my depression and mental health, but instead I listened because I cared. and if you don’t care, and use me like a toy, a puppet, you are a lowlife.

Well thank you for throwing me out like the garbage I truly am

[the folly of man]

there's a lot of things I hate right now

I hate feeling hated
I hate the fear that drama about a specific thing is gonna happen
I hate school
oh my gosh I hate school
I hate the fact I can't actually directly vent what this is about
because my opinions "offend people"
I'm trying to keep my good mindset that I've managed for a while
but it's so hard?? when people seem to dislike me??
I feel rejected and just?? unwanted??

PM me if you really want to. I wouldn't mind someone to talk to. unless you're the kind of person who judges on beliefs before getting to know someone. please don't be like that.