TheComfortCorner | V.8

[emporio!]

wow so things arent great, right now
probably gonna be more absent from here for a bit? idk if anyone cares but hey, its out there
aside from that im just really upset about today? came out to b's family, since im tired of them calling me my old name + pronouns, and his mom was sure to put emphasis on my new name but always use the wrong pronouns. im not sure if she was doing it on purpose but it,, wasnt fun either way
hhh

[Loxo]

I’m really upset right now. I’m still hung up about a death that occurred eight months ago.
Why does it still hurt me to think about him? Why does his name catch in my throat like a ball of thorns? Why do I miss him so much that it feels like I’m hollow inside?
How can emptiness be so heavy?
I won’t say that life’s not fair. I know that already. I just want to say that the curse of a vivid imagination is very cruel.
When I picture him, I can almost see him. I close my eyes, and it’s like he’s there. But then I wake up, the dream disperses, and I have to live another day without him.
Another day, knowing that I’ll never see him again.
And nothing will ever be alright.
Because without him, I’m broken.

[Chevelle000]

Guys I’m sick to the point where I feel loopy and unfocused and my head hurts really freakin bad and I have two very important classes Monday (one of them being public speaking) ((where I must present my speech that I was supposed to write yesterday and today but have been so sick I couldn’t think about anything)) and I’m not sure what I’m gonna do lol. I feel sick and tired and very stressed ): (my other class is actually sociology but I love his lectures and they help me absorb information and I get bonus points at the end of the year if I have perfect attendance which I desperately want)

[elio.]

I'm honestly such a coward, I sit here awake every night, tears in my eyes, missing someone who I know hates me. I wish I could speak to them, but how can I when I know I ruined everything?

[cece.]

i went prom dress shopping yesterday and i didn’t find anything and im so discouraged.
it’s not even like im big either like the only think big on me is my bust and i have to accommodate for the girls before anything else.

it’s just upsetting because i went with my friend and all the dresses looked amazing on her and i looked eh

[saeko]

xxxxxxxI'm tired of feeling such a lack of emotions towards other people (empathy, guilt, shame, love). I'm tired of feeling like a robot going through the routine. I don't know what's wrong with me. My theory is sociopathy or just general sociopathic tendencies, or possibly even depression-induced numbness (though that's far less likely). I don't feel much of anything for anyone, and I hate it. I do terrible things with no remorse that I know I should be feeling. Worst of all, I don't know what exactly is wrong, so it's not like I can treat it.

xxxxxxxCan you even treat what I have with medicine? I don't feel like it's like anxiety where you can calm the nerves, or depression where you can dull the sadness. Can you create emotions where there are none? I hope so. I'm tired of feeling like this, and it's a sad existence. There's no searching for happiness for me when it's unattainable.

[GAIRENTH]

Why am I always so boring?
Even my boyfriend is starting to think I'm boring.

There's nothing to do around here.
Anything I see as fun, well, it's just fun for me. Like video games and drawing.

Other things can be fun, but they're just not around here. Or we've done them all. Or they're far away and gas would just eat up our weekend budget.

There's nothing to do.
He's bored, and that makes him a bit irritated.
And I'm mad at myself. Because I'm so boring.
I just want to be able to do something fun that isn't just going to a store or going to the movies to see other film that isn't even decent or interests us.
Why am I so boring?
He always seems to find things to do, and I'll spend hours and hours searching with no luck.
I don't want to be boring. I don't want tbe upset about being boring. But I am. I'm not fun, I'm not interesting. I'm too worried and scared about new things, but I still would like to try them, they just aren't around here, or there's nothing going on at the time.
I just don't want him to get bored of me.
I wish I could be fun and interesting and have ideas on the spot, but I don't, and I can't, and I'm not.

Just please don't be bored of me and leave.
Please don't leave me.

[tea rose]

it's not going to dull down anytime soon so I may as well make the most of it

[Mooshidog]

it's almost the anniversary.

i'm not ready.

i hope i can deal with it.

thank goodness it's not a school day.

or else i wouldn't go.

[chikin]

xxxxxxxI'm tired of feeling such a lack of emotions towards other people (empathy, guilt, shame, love). I'm tired of feeling like a robot going through the routine. I don't know what's wrong with me. My theory is sociopathy or just general sociopathic tendencies, or possibly even depression-induced numbness (though that's far less likely). I don't feel much of anything for anyone, and I hate it. I do terrible things with no remorse that I know I should be feeling. Worst of all, I don't know what exactly is wrong, so it's not like I can treat it.

xxxxxxxCan you even treat what I have with medicine? I don't feel like it's like anxiety where you can calm the nerves, or depression where you can dull the sadness. Can you create emotions where there are none? I hope so. I'm tired of feeling like this, and it's a sad existence. There's no searching for happiness for me when it's unattainable.

Firstly, you should see a therapist about your feelings and thoughts. They can help you figure out what is wrong and they'll do their best to help you. Just noting I am not a psychologist and neither is the internet.
I highly doubt you are a sociopath -- lacking empathy and feeling emotionally numb does not mean you are one. Sociopathy is a serious and complicated illness.
What you are feeling sounds like it is induced by depression and yes it can be treated. Disorders under ASPD aren't the only disorders who have symptoms such as the ones you are experiencing.