Fwutter wrote:have you ever felt physical heartbreak? it hurts and it never goes away.
have you ever been treated good by life only for it to turn its back on you ever so painfully or fast? Or both?
have you ever cried yourself to sleep so badly your friend in the morning though a blood vessel popped in your eye because they were so red
have you ever been so lonely that all the stuff you must keep in becomes physically painful?
have you ever been so depressed that seeing people happy makes you sad or even want to cry?
have you ever been emotionally ignored and abused so long and hard that all your trust in new comers is lost.
these are things i wish i didnt have to experience. My teen years are supposed to be the most fun, but it is being ruined by mental trauma, and it is hard to fathom. I would do anything to make any of these things i experience to go away forever.
If a person was being nice to me, i would think "they wont be here long" "they will most likely turn on me" "they secretly don't like me" "they will like me at first but after a while will get bored and show it."
if someone asked me out, my mind would run with things like "they don't really love you." "they are just doing it to do it" "they are going to cheat on you" "they wont be there for your emotionally" "they won't care about you."
it's hard. it's hard. i want to get rid of this pain. Why can't i live the life of happiness? yes nobody is always happy, but me? constantly sad in in emotional and physical pain. i am more depressed than i am happy, and if i am happy it is ALWAYS back fired with something. All the time. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I don't deserve this, why do i have it. If life wants to keep giving me bad stuff even though i try my best to be the best i can be, what is the point? Is there a point in being good? All the people in my life that treated me like crap are living better than me, but when me, me the perosn who has been nice even to the person who has caused them emotional pain? but no , so whats the point anymore. What's the point. What's the point. What's. the point
The little things in life that make us happy. The wonderful holidays. The winter vacations. The snow days. The warm homemade cookies. Fluffy blankets. Fuzzy ugly sweaters. Funny celeb interviews. The music.Videos of puppies and kittens being rescued and finding homes. Inside jokes. Silly dances. Flowers on the first day of spring. The swings at the playground. The greatest memories you've had. Traditions. A goodnight sleep. A trip to an amusement park. Candy and baked goods. A simple smile. Company. Silly stories you've heard from your family about you when you were younger.
Great stories. Birthdays. Parents coming home after work. The hugs. Campfires. Smores. Jokes. Inspiring or funny quotes. Rainbows. Butterflys. Good movies. Cute fanfiction. Ice cream. The relief after a brain freeze. Awkward moments that you look back on and laugh about. Silly things children say that make you giggle. Vines. Memes. Slippers. Pajamas. Comfy socks. Christmas lights. Fresh water on a hot day. Bike riding. The people in the world that still use their manners. The people that love you.
And if you have none of that, you've got me. I just met you and your already one my best friends and I don't want to see you like this. I wish you could see how wonderful and charming you are. Look through my eyes, take a step in my shoes. Your awesome. Your funny. Your sweet. You have wonderful art. Your relatable. Your and amazing person. I want you to know that because you really mean a lot to me. :) I love you and I want to thank you because you are just one the sweetest and most talented people I know. Your my best friend Arie. <3
