TheComfortCorner | V.8

[cornspurrd.]

slowly spacing myself from everything. oops. ha. Life. Sucks.

[cad bane]

tired of everything

[mynameisbacon]

A flash flood warning has been issued, and I'm scared to death, I really need a hug, and I wish that bunny on the main page were real, she looks so squishy and warm.... <3

[v1s10ns]

.

[Starwood in Aspen]

my mood has been really up and down the past 2 days.. It was another great weekend with mom. but now I'm back to being alone. I really need to find some friends, but being a senior in college starting your friend group almost from scratch is no easy feat... hey at least I don't have a roommate keeping me up all night anymore though...

[connoisseur]

Before I go on my rant about academics, I just want anyone who's reading this to know they can PM me if they're having a hard time. I've been through dark hours and have had tough episodes before. I'm here if you ever need anything. Believe me, I'm the last person to judge you.

Anyway...
I'm furious with my group. We have to do a research project that includes us have to bring twelve sources, a final paper written by all FOUR of us, and a video that requires at least a whole day's worth of editing. And it has to be FOCUSED on ONE research question. I suggested a very controlled and specific question that concerns our countries' relationships with other countries that are always spoken negatively on the news. Not everyone seems to know the truth behind what happens in these countries but knows the stigma spread by news meant to scare the public. It would've been a wonderful topic to do. Really. The research would've been FUN to do. After telling my partners this, they stare at each other and say that want to do an easy topic. Believe me. It is easy if you make it easy. My suggestion was simple and TO THE POINT. We could've made a documentary about how much our citizens actually know something they're against.

But no. They don't want to do that. And I was cool with that. Maybe they had something that could be done too. No. They point at ONE word. ONE. I ask them what question they want to research. My group shrugged and all stared at me as IF I'm the one having to pull this out of my ass all the time. And guess who does extactly that because they wouldn't just stop blinking at the paper as if a magic question would pop out if they stared long enough? So I suggest something, and they agree right away because it 'sounds easy' WHEN IT REALITY, IT'S TOO BROAD. So I tell them this. They blink some more and change it up. NOW ITS EVEN MORE BROAD. What we're trying to target is a specific GROUP. I told them this. NO. They change it, thinking labelling and naming a certain category just BY looking it up will make it more specific. At first, I was like. Ok. I kinda sorta see this working, but we might have to change the wording.

I went home and thought about it over the weekend.

IT MAKES NO SENSE. WHAT SO EVER. I told them this too. I can't GET the point. Why are we going over time groups if we're supposed to be targeting a certain belief thats embedded with ALL KINDS OF SURROUNDING STANDARDS THAT INVOLVE MORE THAN JUST ASKING PEOPLE FOR THEIR OPINION? We're researching A BELIEF. Not an opinion. I tell them exactly this. They don't get it. So I make an example, turn to someone sitting in front of me, and ASK them exactly what our research topic is and they reply in the exact way I expected them to. I pause and tell my group, "This is the same response we're going to get from everyone in this city. We all have a Chrisitan religion here. Nobody is part of the religious affliation we're trying to research." And then, one of the members gets snippy with me and tells me we don't have to ask just people on campus, or our parents (WHICH IS LITERALLY OUR RESEARCH QUESTION) but also the different churches they have here. So I'm.. just like, "Okay, are you going to do that?" TO WHICH. TO THIS [reacted, censoring myself] PERSON REPLIED. "No! I'm way too busy to do that, I have to work-"

.... I nearly went ballsitic. I HATE. I hate it when people suggest more workload for OTHERS to do. DO NOT ever do this to me. I cannot put into words how irriated I was. I am NOT going to pick up slack for my group. I can already see the train coming to run me over when my members tell me they don't know what to do with their sources, that they just pulled them randomly from the database. I can already SEE them being late and half-assing their work and ME having to pick it up. One of the members barely shows up to class, and they're in almost all my classes. They fail all their work and don't turn in anything. The rest of my members seem like they only want to do the bare minimium. I am not like that at all. I told them this and they just said, "Well this professor is an easy grader."

.....I DO NOT CARE. I want to get recognizations for the research I do! There's so much scholarship opportunities for me along with things I can list onto college applications so I can transfer to the dream university I want! I do not need people who drag me down to try making me morph into a lazy student. I do not want to the typical high schooler academy student that professors assume we all are. I am passionate about my school work, research, and learning. Having a group like this is a living nightmare for me. Have people forgotten the reason why their parents are paying for their education? Are we all just supposed to sit here, go the easy way out, having people do your work for you? I do not tolerate barely meeting the standard. I might sound like a pushover and selfish, but I HATE having to do these kinds of things when people refuse to do hardwork. Things do not come easy. They never will. If they do come easy, it is worth nothing at all. In the end, after achieving what you worked so hard for, it is so satisfying and you will feel proud of yourself. I know for a fact that barely doing anything, getting answers from somebody else, and basically allowing yourself to be guided your whole life is anything but success and rewarding. It's the worst thing I can imagine.

Obvious as it is, I am furious. When I went on to tell my group exactly what I was thinking and how the research topic wouldn't work, they LAUGHED at me. LAUGHED at me. I swear I was so embarrassed and red. I'm going to see if I can switch groups, because I will not sit there and be the only one thinking about it. If they don't realize how difficult the topic will be to work on now, they will later when its too late and they're already an ankle deep in research they cannot even tie into their paper.

Yikes. This is long. Sorry.

[tea rose]

edited

[cornspurrd.]

I'm tired of these lonely and broken nights. I'm crying, But you don't really care. Nobody really cares.
But that's fine! I'm used to it. I'll get over it. But don't be mad when disappear because my bottled thoughts have shattered.
I was gone for 7 days and you didn't even care to ask where i was. you just bounced back into chat. eh. thats fine.



I'm sorry i try.

[Arlecchino ♡]

Things haven't been this bad for a long time.
I don't see the light anymore.

[Atlas ♥]

I’m bawling my eyes out.

I just finished watching Fury (based on WW2) and gosh it’s so sad.. It’s extremely depressing seeing what soldiers had to go through, especially Norman.. It would be so traumatic.

I was holding in my tears until it reached the part where all his crew members died and he was so scared. Luckily American Soldiers found him the next morning and took him back to the base.. But still, Wardaddy, Bible, Grady, and Trini didn’t make it, which makes my heart ache so badly.

Ughh, I haven’t cried like this in ages.