Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[ChaoticRaven3]

I'm glad that it's over now, that I don't have to worry about saying something bad or making you upset every second of every day. I'm happier now. But, sometimes, I can't stop thinking about you. I play my songs over and over, and think about the things that you said, when I know I should just let go. I feel like you're still affecting me. I haven't written for months now, and it hurts. I can't write. I try, but I can't. Why can't I find the joy in the things that I used to?
And I still want you to be okay. I know that things got harder for you after we parted ways. I know that I was your only safe space, and I'm glad that I was helping you. But it was hurting me. And I couldn't help you if I myself was struggling.
Can you just let me let go? Please? I know I haven't written in forever, and that's part of the problem too. I need to start writing again, just a little bit at a time. I need to take back the thing that I loved and make it mine again. I want writing to be my joy again. I need to reclaim my happiness, and myself.
Maybe I'll start today. And I hope that you're able to move on too. I don't want you to be struggling. But I can't help you up close, so I can only wish from afar.

what if I could open up my eyes
and let the rain fall from the sky
what if I could run away from time
could I erase, erase all the lies
oh will I ever learn to let go
will I ever learn to let it die
will I ever learn to let go
will I ever learn to let it die
let it die
(lyrics from "Let it Die" by Rival)

[BigGayDisaster]

Dear Ham & Cheese Sandwich the hamster-

Please stop chewing the wood of the cage I gave you so many different chew toys
You have at least 3 sticks, a hay ball, a rope with sticks, another rope with pumice stone, and a braided corn husk chain
In hindsight, wood in a hamster cage is not a good idea- but I've never had a hamster before and you were kinda thrust upon me with a few hours notice so you'll forgive me that I didn't think of that
I guess I'll just have to find a way to reinforce the wood if you get past the ledge bit
At least you're not gnawing on the actual parts that keep you from escaping
(PS your new wheel is coming soon)

-Your very tired caregiver, who would still die for you regardless of your desire to wreck your cage

[sweathie]

I've been noticing your posts lately.

2016. I was in a bad relationship. I was afraid of leaving that person because of what they said to me. I couldn't emotionally babysit them after they drained me dry of all my energy. I stayed up long nights, talking on the phone, hoping things would get better, and they just didn't. They blew up at me and left me after I couldn't pull them out of the pit they threw themselves into.

I made endless posts about it. I was screaming into the void. Nobody could see through the veil of happiness I slapped onto everything.

I'm out the other side now. I want to reach out to those that might be in the same place I was; to be the adult and helping hand that I needed. I needed somebody to tell me that I wasn't wrong to be feeling what that I felt. It might not have made the path to recovery shorter, but I would have started it earlier.

I don't know if it's safe for you if I reach out. I don't want to jeopardize your safety. But know that my inbox is open, and I want you to take that first step down recovery lane, with or without me cheering you on.

If you think this post is about you, it is. If you hope that it's about you, it is. Even if you're 100% sure that I didn't write this post about you- but you recognize yourself in it- then this post is about you.

[Thovatos]

Dear Friend,

I know you'd never want to hear what I'd have to say to you now, though I feel it's a conversation someone needs to have with you. I worry about you a lot, you know? Living on the way you do; for as long as I have known you, I want nothing for the best for you because you are very dear to me and were apart of my life when no one else was. It might not be my place to say these things, but just know it comes from a place of love and not frustration.

You living with your parents has done nothing but bring your life to a halt. I know the kind of person you can be, but when no one pushes you to be who you are meant to be, you stay stagnant in your life. I watch you struggle to get out of bed and make friends, whereas you just stay home now days and sleep for most of the night and day. I miss hearing you laugh and I miss knowing you had friends outside of home you could spend time with and be happy. I hardly hear from you now, and I just feel that perhaps your parents should help you make it in life than just fixing up your pc and allowing you to live the same day over and over again for years.

I love you bunches, Friend. And I hope we can still be friends for many more years to come, I just wish you would reach out to me sometimes. You will always have friends, and we want you to know how much you mean to us and how worried we are for you living this groundhog day over and over and over again. As nice as it is to relax and recoop, standing still in life has never done anyone any good in the long run. Go, experience life and be the person I know you can be. One day, I hope I could see you with your own house and car and rest well knowing you're happy and feel fulfilled in your life. Please don't wait until it's too late. We don't have years like this forever, Friend.

A long time friend of over 5 years,
Thova~

[LittleMaple]

Dear Mr. New York,

How many years has it been? 1? 2? That's scary. I'm scared. I keep finding things that remind me of you. I rewatched Metal Family and remembered that you were the one who showed it to me. I remembered how happy you were when you talked about it, or Amphibia. I remember the fear, the guilt, I felt when I realized I'd never be able to give you a proper goodbye. I remembered listening to Sweet Dream In Sea Major in wintertime. I remembered where you live. I remembered what you told me. That whenever you talked to me, you didnt feel angry anymore. You had anger problems. But you never lashed out at me. You could be blunt sometimes, though, and you weren't the brightest. Mostly importantly, I remembered the way we loved each other. I really miss you. Some nights it eats at me until I cant breathe. Others, I dont even think about you. Tonight, I want to cry. I want to let all my feelings for you go. But I cant. I cant cry, and I'm not sure why. But I also cant let you go. I dont think I ever can. You're a part if me now, as much as I hate to admit it. We could've been so perfect, so happy. I'm sorry I messed it up so badly. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, honey. I miss you so much. I wish I could just forget you. What I need is to tell you goodbye, but I know the minute I talk to you again, i wont be able to let you go. And i hate myself for it. I wish you didnt have this effect on me. I'm sorry. God, I'm a wreck.

Always forever, Peaches

[PetzPink]

-

[theia]

to x,

i must admit, i could probably send such a letter to you. i have just not made up my mind yet, and i'd like to avoid such a confrontation with you. we have had some good discussions and moments, and i do not want to let you down. i would be no different from others we have talked about. but it has to be said eventually, or else i would be leading you on and getting your hopes up, only to not be giving my all if we ever get to the actual content portion.

when we first started talking, i had plenty of free time on my hands and could actively respond. then school and work started up and whooped my ass. i just dont have the energy to respond, even if i do get the time to. if they were short back and forth messages, i could do that. but ours are not like that. they only grow in length every time i manage to get back to you. these messages are whole letters in and of themselves. it takes me a good solid hour to type them up. it's getting rather draining. and honestly, im beginning to lose interest. i cannot recall half of the things we've discussed because it's been dragging on for so long. i was not originally looking for something so intense. i wanted something casual. laidback. low-commitment. easy. simple but still interesting. this has been quite the opposite. i was open to it at first, but now that its been going on for so long, and we're adding so many different things into it, im beginning to dread it. it certainly is interesting and new, but overall, im not the person for this type of stuff. i'm doing a lot more than i wanted to for this. and truth is, i fear that when we get to the actual content (if we even get there), there's too many details that i'll feel as if im writing a research paper with how much back and forth i'll be doing.

you're really into this, and have been so patient with me. i'm truly sorry for feeling this way. i do not want to let you down, but i think i should end it before it progresses any further and wastes both of our time. either end it or create something a whole lot simpler, which i believe wouldn't interest you as much. i'll continue to reflect on this before i get back to you once again, but in the meantime, i sincerely hope you're doing well and wish you the best.

- k

[PetzPink]

I feel goofy using this thread more than once but whatevs

Dear M,

I'm sorry for abandoning you at such a vulnerable time. Truth be told, I just wanted everything to be over with, so I pretended abandoning everything would make it better. Secretly I hoped it would be like all the other times I left, where I'd come crawling back and you'd take me back even though I did it time and time again. But somehow, I just knew that time was different. I was pushed over the edge by both of you. I wish I could go back and fix the way I went about things, but I'm not upset things ended. I think we both knew we were starting to grow apart and we just became so different. It was hard for me to connect with you both and I always felt like I was overbearing. I know I'm not the same person you knew back when we first met, and you aren't either. We've both changed so much. I hope you're happier now than you were when you opened up to me and I hope you've found peace. I never should have left after you didn't answer me, I should have given you the space to process and heal. I'll always care for you and love you a lot, and I'm sorry I didn't do right by you. Everyone around me knows how great you are. I've got lots of great stories for the future, with all three of us.

[sky,]

You.

Haaaa. There are a million things I wish I could say... but honestly, words cannot even express. We have been friends for 5 years. We've shared laughes over drinks and I watched as you protected me from every danger that lurked when I got a little wild. I trusted you with just about everything. My hopes and dreams... my deepest darkest fears. All of it. I was completely vulnerable as a person. I truly trust very few people and you were most certainly privy to my loyalty and complete dedication. Now you took that bright and shiny, gung-ho for life, woman that I was.. and completely snuffed out her light. You have hurt me in so many ways, counting them makes my head spin. Now, I would say this to you, but you won't listen. I have tried time and time again, but your methods of twisting my words and making me feel like it is all my fault won't work anymore. Because you know what? It is your fault. You are a poor excuse for a man and a shrivel of what being a father requires of you. You have failed in every sense of the word. Thank you for letting me see your true colors before it was too late... and maybe it already is. I cannot even believe I put myself through the last two years giving you chance after chance after chance.. when the first time should have done it. I am DONE lowering my standards for scum of the earth like you. I am too good for that. I hope you find what you are looking for , but I know for certain, there is no way in hell I will ever forgive you. UGHH don't you even see the amount I have invested in you. I was PREGNANT... dealing with financial hardship and my own burdens with my career. But I still lived in your car with you so you wouldn't feel lonely. But somehow I managed to help you buy your house... I helped you pay your phone bill. I even bought you freaking dinner on all our dates. Even after everything (which I can't talk about on here.) You systematically stripped me of everything. My body, my dignity, my stability, and my self esteem. You will never be sorry. I love my son. I love him with everything I have. He is my entire world. You will never be his father. I would never subject someone I care about to knowing you. You would just screw him up. Truthfully, you deserve to be in prison. But, it must be nice to have friends who will protect a criminal. I feel bad for them... because one day they''ll see that you're not worth protecting.

So with that being said, this is the last time that I will ever talk about you. I am free of you now, all the way across the country in a stable environment with people who love me. A career that I love and an incredibly happy baby. My life isn't perfect and it isn't where I thought it would be, thanks to you. But I have come to terms with that. So you can stop trying to harass me. You can stop trying to get a reaction out of me. Because you won't get it anymore. I am done and free from your clutches. I hope you find someone one day who does the same thing you did to me. I honestly couldn't care less if you wind up happy. That's the last privilege of honestly you will get from me. HA.

Finally, After 5 years, I have the last laugh.

So long!

[eve0806]

I just want to say I love you, and forgive me for my fears and uncertainty, I just don't know what will happen next, that's why I'm afraid and can't give you an answer