Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[erinfinn]

pappy,
it's been 10 years since you have passed away. april 8.
i just finished eating your favorite meal-ribs.
thank you for having such a positive impact on my family. we all miss you & really hope you're in a better place.
i remember seeing you in the hospital, on your last day in this world. you lifted me up onto the bed. the happiness in your face-i don't think i'll ever forget.
i love you. rest easy. ♥️

[Pale Verditer]

I know I mean nothing to you, but it could've been better... I could've been better. But I'm not going to disregard all the things you said to me, old friend. I went from something to nothing really quick.. but did I really deserve it? Because I stood up for myself and my brethren? My family...?
No.. I didnt.
I'm too broken to be fixed. I've been broken. Hurt countless of times because I kept fighting for you. You were my will to live. Now I have no will.
I wonder if you enjoy seeing me like this.. most people do.
But im done being hurt. I'm done crying for you. I'm done with everything.

[chaotic creativity]

c,

is it possible to fall in love as fast as i have? i was curled in a ball at the bottom of a dark hole, but you reached out your hand and lit up my world. your goofy love of death metal and whatnot, your endless puns, your hyper attitude towards your friends. how? how do i deserve all this? you tell me i’m beautiful daily. you tell me you love me daily. but what did i do to earn this? i’ve always lived in a “you have to do something to earn something” mindset, but i cannot find what i did to earn you. you put up with my jealousy, you constantly reassure me that you love because you know someone broke my trust before, you always make it seem like a big deal when you come over, you listen to me when i go off on a rant about the simplest subjects. but i’m still terrified that you’ll leave me. i’m still terrified that you’ll cheat on me. i’m still terrified that you’ve lied about all the things you say you love about me. but that’s all fading away. i still don’t believe i deserve you, but you make me think i do.

love,
e.

[zaffre.]

a,

i miss you more and more with each passing day. you give me confidence, you give me happiness, you give me life. it's going to be a long 166 days until i can finally see you again, but knowing those days are coming... they give me hope. love you and can't wait to see you.

sincerely, l

[Astrola ~]

Ary,
Yikes, you really are an awful person. I thought that maybe you just didn't like me, but god this is really taking it too far. How am I supposed to pass this class if you're taking all my points? I can take you being rude and insulting me, but this is a group project and defines our entire grade. You're not even in my group dude.

Apy,
The way my hair is has nothing to do with you. If I like it, I'll wear it.

Kwy,
I'm so glad you forgave me and that we're friends again. Thank you.

Dear Otf,
I'm really excited about our trip. It sucks that we haven't been able to hang out thanks to school work and jobs, but I can't wait.

Dear Jbf,
Stop taking advantages of girls' feelings. If she doesn't want to date you, she's not going to date you. Stop asking. You're ruining all our friendships. We stopped hanging out with you for a reason.

[Amelia]

Dear Dad,

I miss you so much more than I can even explain. It's been a month since you left us. I just wish I knew that you were that sick. I wish I would have squeezed your hand one last time instead of just walking away and down the long hallway. I wish instead of saying "no" when mom asked if I wanted to say good night to you as you lay hooked up to the ventilator that I would have done it. I didn't think anything of it, I assumed you'd be there the next day for me to talk to. Things are so different now with you not here. Mom is taking good care of us, though. The final season of Game of Thrones starts soon, I know you really wanted to live long enough to find out how the show ended. I'll find out for you, I promise. I know you wanted to be here. I know you wanted to see me graduate high school, see me get married and even have kids. But you did not get to. I heard you passed peacefully, which makes me feel a little bit better. But still, I wish you were here. Apparently you looked good as a dead body, according to the old dude at the mortuary. That's supposedly a compliment, I mean, that dude has seen a lot of dead bodies in his time. I almost didn't want to even go in to see you, but mom told me I should. You just looked asleep, but I knew you'd never wake up. Sometimes I still think that you're going to walk through the door and call me my nickname and give me a big hug. But then I realize all over again that that would never happen. I imagine me and you in one of those kind of military reuniting videos where a kid reunites with their parent. I'd sprint over to you and give you the biggest hug. But that will never happen. I miss you so much. I miss watching episodes of South Park with you on the couch. I miss you returning from your business trips and me running up to the door ready to hug you. I miss your spontaneous texts and face times that I'd receive in the middle of class. I miss being able to talk to you about everything. It was me and you against the world. Losing you has been so weird. Everyone remembered for about a week, now everyone has moved on and assumes that I'm perfectly fine. I'm not as fine as I let on. You pointed that out to me a little over a month ago, you called me stoic. And yes, I am. I was even stoic at your funeral. I got to read your jokes out as a way for you to do the stand up act you always wanted to do. People laughed. I still don't know what to put on your headstone. Mom says I cannot put a quote from Towelie from south park on there. I think having a quote from a cartoon stoner towel is pretty appropriate to me. You would have found that funny. I found your camera the other day. I'm going to start taking pictures with it. Stormy misses you, too. She misses you picking her up and petting her little cat head. But I've been giving her love for you. I wonder if you're watching over me as I type this. I don't believe in that kind of stuff, but part of me wants to. I just wish you were here. Nothing is the same without you. I cannot go even a minute without being reminded that you're gone.

Hope there's a working slurpee machine in heaven.

Love,
Amelia (your daughter)

[Pale Verditer]

Dear Dad,

I miss you so much more than I can even explain. It's been a month since you left us. I just wish I knew that you were that sick. I wish I would have squeezed your hand one last time instead of just walking away and down the long hallway. I wish instead of saying "no" when mom asked if I wanted to say good night to you as you lay hooked up to the ventilator that I would have done it. I didn't think anything of it, I assumed you'd be there the next day for me to talk to. Things are so different now with you not here. Mom is taking good care of us, though. The final season of Game of Thrones starts soon, I know you really wanted to live long enough to find out how the show ended. I'll find out for you, I promise. I know you wanted to be here. I know you wanted to see me graduate high school, see me get married and even have kids. But you did not get to. I heard you passed peacefully, which makes me feel a little bit better. But still, I wish you were here. Apparently you looked good as a dead body, according to the old dude at the mortuary. That's supposedly a compliment, I mean, that dude has seen a lot of dead bodies in his time. I almost didn't want to even go in to see you, but mom told me I should. You just looked asleep, but I knew you'd never wake up. Sometimes I still think that you're going to walk through the door and call me my nickname and give me a big hug. But then I realize all over again that that would never happen. I imagine me and you in one of those kind of military reuniting videos where a kid reunites with their parent. I'd sprint over to you and give you the biggest hug. But that will never happen. I miss you so much. I miss watching episodes of South Park with you on the couch. I miss you returning from your business trips and me running up to the door ready to hug you. I miss your spontaneous texts and face times that I'd receive in the middle of class. I miss being able to talk to you about everything. It was me and you against the world. Losing you has been so weird. Everyone remembered for about a week, now everyone has moved on and assumes that I'm perfectly fine. I'm not as fine as I let on. You pointed that out to me a little over a month ago, you called me stoic. And yes, I am. I was even stoic at your funeral. I got to read your jokes out as a way for you to do the stand up act you always wanted to do. People laughed. I still don't know what to put on your headstone. Mom says I cannot put a quote from Towelie from south park on there. I think having a quote from a cartoon stoner towel is pretty appropriate to me. You would have found that funny. I found your camera the other day. I'm going to start taking pictures with it. Stormy misses you, too. She misses you picking her up and petting her little cat head. But I've been giving her love for you. I wonder if you're watching over me as I type this. I don't believe in that kind of stuff, but part of me wants to. I just wish you were here. Nothing is the same without you. I cannot go even a minute without being reminded that you're gone.

Hope there's a working slurpee machine in heaven.

Love,
Amelia (your daughter)

I'm so sorry for your loss....I teared up a bit by reading that. Please, please have a blessed day my dear..

[Trexxa]

dear mh,

I'll just come straight to the point and say it: I have feelings for you. I don't just think anymore, I know for a fact now. I guess I found out for sure that night back in february. I wonder if you think about that night nearly as often as I do?

I've got a feeling you already know well that I like you. I know I've made myself painstakingly obvious, following you around and texting you all the time. my friends can even tell and they love to tease me around you.

I don't expect anything from you when I tell you this. I don't have any hopes of anticipating an "I like you too" or etc. I feel like you've also made it pretty clear you're not looking for someone right now. you practically said so last week, when I came down all honest to you about so many of my other flaws. you told me you weren't ready for a relationship yet after the terrible experiences you've had in the past.

I think it best I put this out here now though, while I still have the opportunity to. I'm not afraid or being rejected like I was a month ago. nor do I really feel it'll damage our friendship. I feel... so close to you, mh. I don't know what it is about you, but I have so much faith in you. I have a desire to let you in on all my secrets and flaws. I'm very cautious about picking my friends, but you are one I trust wholeheartedly.

I would love to be something more with you. but I know you're probably not ready for that, chances are you may be never ready at all. I don't even know if you see me at all in that way. but that's alright. at the end of the day, I really just want you to be happy. I care about you, more than anything. whatever happens, know that I will always be there for you. I will never hurt or abandon you the way others have. you are precious in my eyes.

sincerely,
t.

[Lostfairy]

Dear Dad,
If you don’t want to have klunk at home after you came back from work where you have to deal with klunk, don’t BRING it back!
It’s tiring having you so angry that past few days.
Please! Cheer up!

Dear M,
Ha, have another letter.
I still think you should email me back.
It’s been over half a year?
Please. Tell me. Anything. I thought you wanted to talk to me again?
Apparently not. You ask me to be honest and then I am and you leave me again. Haha, whatever.

Dear O and K and X and M,
Be careful, okay? I want you to come back home safe and well and happy. <3
I’ll wait for you. I promise.

[maid latte]

Dear X,

I just wanted to say that I really, really miss you. Ever since you left, things haven’t been right. I haven’t been able to look back on fond memories of you with a smile anymore, nor go to the places you and I used to hide away at for solace without wanting to cry. Even though you’re not here anymore, fragments of you shine through my daily life. Whenever I look at my food, I’m reminded of your favourite. Whenever I glance into shop windows at clothes, I think of that dumb t-shirt you always used to wear. Whenever i walk past parks, I picture us laughing on the swing set. Late night cups of teas and chocolate biscuits reminds me of all the times we could never sleep, but spent it together on the downstairs sofa rewatching our favourite films and series. I can’t look at my dog anymore without remembering the time you brought him over to me, tied with red ribbon as a birthday gift.

I know that if you read this now, you’d want me to stop thinking of painful things and instead remember our happy times together. After all, how can I let you go if I still freeze whenever I hear your name or see your picture?

I want to forget you. I really, really want to, but at the same time I want to preserve this memory of you. I can’t help but hope that one day I’ll stop looking back on you as a painful memory, and instead as an existence that gave me such indescribable joy just like you’d want me to. I hope that, wherever you may be, you’re doing well. And I hope that one day I’ll get to see you again.

I miss you so much, and I love you.

From Athy.