by raspbby » Sun Mar 10, 2019 5:13 pm
dear s,
i was in love with you. desperatley in love with you. you were all i thought about every waking moment and all i wanted to do was to be held in your arms and for you to love me. then, i found out you would never like me back and even though you once wanted to kiss me too now you liked me only as a friend. i was heartbroken. absolutely devastated because the person i thought to be my first true love didn't like me back. all i wanted was for my stupid crush to go away, yet at the same time i just wanted to kiss you and hold your hand. but lately, when i go to bed i don't enjoy imagining cuddling with you. i don't want to kiss you anymore. it took me so long but i think i'm finally over you. (knock on wood) maybe it's the fact that time heals, or that i haven't hung out with you in a while, or maybe because you are constantly leaving me on read, giving me dry, one word replies, caring about people you just met more than one of your long time best friends, not being a supportive friend, canceling on me multiple times in a row, refusing to do a simple thing to help me, and the fact that every time i talk to you i seem to feel upset. whichever one it is, i am over you. i have moved on with my life and i have new friends and i am a new person. i am not the same one who, two months ago was in a mental hospital for a week for depression, anxiety and SI. (you being a main, triggering cause of those) i am not the same person who cried over you because you didn't love me back. that was two, almost 3 months ago and now i am happy. i am taking care of myself. i do not need you, nor do i want you. i spent my 2018 in love with you, so in love it hurt my mental health. the beginning of 2019, my mental health had gone down the drain. but that is not me anymore. even though you greatly hurt me, i am thanking you because now that i am over you i can finally focus on myself. i am focusing on myself and i am getting better. i am so much happier. thank you s.
love, charlotte