Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[Chloe Grace]

Dear Self,

I hate-

I absolutely [/i]hate[/i] the way words come out like klunk from your mouth. You like something and then all your filthy mouth can say is stupid stuff! Why do you do that? Why are you so klunky sometimes? Why can’t you talk right? You are a horrible friend and sister!

AND GOSH, DARN IT. My own train of thought is being derailed by loud chewing and there’s not even a place to escape. SLIM IT. Please don’t chew so gosh darn loud.

ANYWAY. *glares at chewer and now slurpper* As I was saying! How, self, how! can you be so stupid?! Seriously. Your lack of interpersonal skills is sorely lacking, as is your talking skills, in general! And-

*covers ears* Ahhhh, stop slurping and sucking so wetly!!!!!!! I can’t even be properly mad at myself when you do that!

Anyway, self, you can try to fix the mess you when you opened your mouth and all that came out was klunk, but it won’t work. Because, guess what, you are horrible. Deep down you know you’ll never be able to say the things you want to properly.

Isn’t it sad? Having so many things to say, and never being able to say what you actually mean. No one ever knowing what you really are like, no one wanting to come to close to you because, at the worst times, you say nothing good, nothing worthwhile, nothing even understandable. You’ll be stuck by yourself, forever. Oh, sure, you might have a few friends, but none are best friends. Yes, there’s family, too. But they have to stay. They’re stuck to you.

Signed,
The Voice in Your Head That Talks Far too Much and Beats the Klunk Out of You Because You Are a Coward

[Snow's Storm]

Dear world,

I am transgender ftm. Accept it and get over it please.

Thanks,
Storm

[seti]

dear j;;
we haven’t talked in a solid year and you’ve never texted me ever, but after we cheated on the chemistry homework together one time you started texting and snapchatting me nonstop. we all know what’s going on here. the weird part is you’re starting to grow on me. i’ve always thought you were a lil cute but like i never had any romantic interest in you. i still kind of don’t ?? i have no idea. but i’m glad you’re not trying to openly flirt with me or anything yet. it is kind of nice to have someone who genuinely puts effort into conversations for once though. thank for that i guess?

dear s;;
you are the smartest person i know, and you’re especially knowledgeable in anything regarding anatomy and physiology because your mother is a doctor. so why in the world do you think starving yourself is a good idea?? even i know that’s the worst way to lose weight, and way that will get you sent to the hospital the easiest, and im not half as smart as you. you say you’ll start eating normally once your weight goes down, but how are you going to keep it off? your metabolism is going to be way too slow to prevent you from gaining it all back, and you are going to end up going back to starving yourself and developing an eating disorder!! i desperately do no want to see that happen to you!! it almost happened to me!! don’t do this to yourself!! i am never going to stop telling you how terrible of an idea this is, and if you follow through, i can and will inform your mother of what you’re doing. i will not watch you destroy yourself. start eating healthy foods if you really must lose weight (which, by the way, you don’t. you literally look perfect and anyone who makes you feel otherwise *cough* e *cough* can absolutely die for all i care because they’re blind and stupid). you can join the cardio class that i do every week if you want to. just don’t starve yourself. please.

dear t;;

you are so pretty please step on me
i’m not even gay but i’d 100% marry you okay
also your boyfriend isn’t even that good looking lmao you should break up with him and date me instead wink wonk

m.

[carnivorous.]

to j:
hi! congrats! you're a horrible person and i want nothing to do with you!
that speech idea deserved to fail, did you seriously expect everyone to just stand up like that? ha, no.
please, leave my friends alone, it's obvious we all despise you, and there's a reason for that, mostly because you have a toxic personality and have a problem with most prominently, "b", you mess with them, you mess with me, mmkay?

to "b":
lowkey helped me get over my phobia thanks for that my bro lmao
anyway you're a fabulous individual so have a great life

to "r":
aye boss
you're a good person but i can't tell if you hate me or not??
haha anyway good luck with "j" if y'know what i mean ;))

to "??":
okay i get that we have clashing opinions but
talk about being salty?
take a break lady lmao

to "a" and "a"
haha you two are amazing, and it's cool how we're chill despite our clashing personalities
have a great day you edgy queens

to "s":
you actually understand my dark sense of humour?? that's amazingly rare lol
anyway the memes you send are gr8 so thanks

to "??":
nah i've not forgiven you yet no matter how much i act like it.
what you did was wrong no matter how oblivious you were.
i don't like speaking to you.

to "c #1 ":
dude are you alive?? i know your phone broke so you can't text, but we should totally get in touch when you're free,
so much has happened over the year and we need to talk lol

to "m":
*sluuuuurp*
yes hello there you delicious individual we need to work on our dark novel lmao


finally

to me:
get your life together and try to be more friendly and less sarcastic lol

[FAERIEH0NG]

you're my best friend but dear god you make me so sad
one thing comes up and you act like you have no idea how to talk to me because of something i can't control
i have had so many nervous breakdowns about this and you acting like you're walking on broken glass around me is making it worse
you're making me feel like i should have just kept lying to you because maybe then this wouldn't be happening but i don't want to even come close to hurting our trust again
why can't we be the way we were years ago? when did things get so hard and why have you changed?
i've changed too and i don't know if it's for the better
i know you said you're trying but sometimes i wonder if you really are
you don't have to look for tension all the time because sometimes we can just let things be
i know this makes things harder but things just get harder sometimes and when you can't change things you just let them be
this is so out of my hands and you keep making me feel like i had something to do with it but i didn't and there's absolutely nothing either one of us can do now
i don't want you to talk to them because you'll find out all the times i lied to spare your feelings but i did it because i worried about this exact thing that's happening right now and you're reacting exactly how i knew you would
i don't want to ever cut you from my life but you're making it so hard to be happy around you when you look for tension between us that doesn't have to be there
you're forcing it to be there and i don't know why
i wish you would stop the self-loathing and i wish you would see things from somebody else's point of view
you're not the only one hurting but we don't have to be and i think that's what you don't understand
i wish we could go back

i just want to go to bed
i just want to go to bed all the time so then i don't have to be around anyone and i don't have to think about anything
being around you used to fill me with energy but you're getting to the point that you drain me like almost everyone else and it scares me
believe it or not i don't want to lose you
i have to know that you don't want to lose me either
if you don't then please start acting like it
i don't think i'm too demanding
but if you think it'd be easier if we just stopped then let's just stop

[sumatra.]

J,

I wish you loved me like you used to. We were such a good pair. You and I vs. the world. All I think about is how in love with me you were for the first half a year.
You made choices that lost my trust and even though I learned to forgive you, that somehow meant you couldn’t love me the same anymore. A week after we started dating you asked me if I would ever wear a ring and how I felt about promise rings. I miss how you used to talk to me.
Telling me how beautiful I will look walking down the aisle in my wedding dress. How you knew I was the one. The one you wanted to start a family with.
Now two years later here we are. We’ve been through so many ups and downs and through it all, all I’ve wanted was you to love me like you did. It’s no where near the same now and sometimes it’s unbearable.
You are my soulmate and the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with. You are the love of my life. And now I have to doubt that I am the same for you.
I wish that was all I had to say to you. But it’s geting almost tiring now a days having to basically tell you how to care about me. How to treat me. How I deserve to be loved. It’s like you don’t care enough to put any effort in. A year ago if I went to bed upset, I would wake up to a huge paragraph of you telling me all these swee things and why you love me. Now, nothing. I want us more than anything in the world, but you are destroying me along with this relationship.

[Loxo]

Dear D,

I’m sick right now.
Unfortunately, I know that I will recover when you didn’t.
I wish you were here right now. You never got to meet L. She’s so nice and friendly. L is much quieter than you were, but I feel like you two would get along great.
I can’t accurately describe my feelings right now, so I’m going to borrow some song lyrics.

“I don’t know how I got this way, I’ll never be alright” (Breaking the Habit, Linkin Park)

“If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? If I’m alive and well, will you be there, holding my hand?” (Kryptonite, 3 Doors Down)

“I’m a reckless mistake” (Polaroid, Imagine Dragons

“Oh, I’m gonna mess this up, Oh, this is just my luck, over and over and over again. I’m sorry for everything, oh, everything I’ve done, from the second that I was born it seems I had a loaded gun, and then I shot, shot, shot a hole through everything I loved, oh, I shot, shot, shot a hole through every single thing that I loved” (Shots, Imagine Dragons)

“I’m taking a stand to escape what’s inside me: a monster, a monster, I’ve turned into a monster, a monster, a monster, and it keeps getting stronger.” (Monster, Imagine Dragons)

“When you lose something you can’t replace, could it be worse?” (Fix You, Coldplay)

“You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!” (Hotel California, The Eagles)

[d0gteeth]

dear a -
you told me you'd never hurt me, yet you hurt me in the worst way possible.
words are such deceitful things, aren't they?
so doesn't this pertain to the things you'd tell me? how beautiful i was, the
fact that we were going to get "married", how much you loved & respected
me?
i built up the guts to tell you i had developed feelings for you, in a matter of
four short days, that were possibly the best four days of my life.
i was in love. something, an emotion, i'd never felt before. something i told
myself i'd never feel.
why did you not tell me you spoke to everyone this way? that this was how
you and your small friend group interacted?
i was a complete stranger, you knew that, how could i ever possibly know?
you made me believe i was truly special to you. when realistically, i meant
little.
i cried myself to sleep that night, and the night after that, but in a few days
of you ignoring me for an undisclosed reason, i got over it.
now you want to contact me again? as if i'm just going to come running back
to you like some lovesick puppy?
no. i'm too strong for that.
you don't deserve me, and you never will.
sure, it'd be long-distance, but someone who truly wanted me would make it w
ork.
which obviously isn't you.
so don't dm me, because i want nothing to do with you. i'm better off without
you in my life. a constant reminder of how fake and unrealistic love really is.

farewell,
from a girl who wants nothing to do with you

[Lostfairy]

Dear M,

I don’t get you. We’ve been emailing back and forth, one email every month (haha we are slow, right?) and it’s been a month since I sent mine. But then in an online game, you simply send me a letter saying, “How’s life?”

Excuse me? If you want to know how my life is, how about you email me? Please? I know you’re mad since I told you part of the truth of why we stopped talking but hey, you asked me to be honest! I could have been brutally honest. But I wasn’t. I was polite.

So please. Just email back?

-Marigold

[narwhallama]

Dear friend,
Why do you let her do that to you? You deserve someone so much better than her, and it hurts that you can't see that. She's tearing you apart, and I don't know what I can do about it. I don't know how I can help you. All the advice websites say that I just need to be there for you, but it doesn't feel like enough. Being there won't help unless you let me in. I'm here and I want to help you. I'm here for you whenever you need me. You are my first priority in life. I just wish you could see that and let me help. You don't need to feel like nothing when you deserve everything.
I love you.