Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[RubyQueen]

Dear K, it's been so long since i've heard your voice. I miss you so much. You had a amazing smile and so much optimism. And now i need you more than i ever did in the past. I'm sinking lower into sadness and stress, how did you stay so positive. I'm becoming more pessimistic as years go on and people just keep giving me reasons not to trust anyone. I hope i was right by trusting you and putting so much time into our friendship. You were after all my first and only best friend, even to this day you are. I miss the nights we spent together talking about what we'd do in the future and how we'd never leave each other. I was stupid to think that any of those wishes would ever come true. I hope you're enjoying life.


-Someone that misses you

[Soll]

Dear me,

Why won't you just EAT?? You should know that you're skinny enough, why do you feel so fat?? Why do you look in the mirror and see something disgusting while everyone around you is telling you you're gorgeous?? You shouldn't do this to your body, you look ugly enough with all your scars, imagine what people will think when they start to see your ribs without you sucking in your belly. I know you try to eat, and I know that you'll just throw it all up because you feel guilty for what you've done, you feel like a glutton, you feel like you'll gain 10 pound for every bite of food you consume. You just keep throwing it all up, continuously until only stomach acid comes out, and you still feel like you need to do more. Your spine is starting to show, how are you supposed to hide that?? It's been almost 72 hours since you've last eaten, you know that you're starving, you can feel yourself losing every ounce of energy, you've passed out twice, yet you refuse to keep anything inside your body. This is going to kill you, well, then again... that's exactly what you wish to happen most. You disgust me.

[Lostfairy]

Dear Dad,
I seem to have a lot of anger bottled up because of things you've done. I really need to forgive you... but its so hard. You seem to add to the pile every day.
Ever since I spilled to Mom that I hated our relationship, that it sucked and I never got to hang out with you cuz you were always gone or on your flipping laptop. I told her my darkest thoughts, that I feared you'd kick me out of the house when I graduated. Of course you won't. But some days, it's like you throw all your hate about your job and your co-workers at ME. Your youngest daughter. The one you didn't really want to have when my mom said she wanted four kids. Yeah. Me.
What did I ever do? I feel like I hurt you in some way or I'm constantly hurting you? I need to know what I am doing! How can we live together if we keep going through these awful motions?
I think Mom mentioned something to you? Cuz when you came home that day, you literally spilled some love onto me? And it made me have hope?
And then guess what? The next day you did the same thing. And the next. And then you asked if me and my sister would like to have a breakfast date next week. The last time you took me out to eat without the whole family was when I was a child.
But then today, you crushed that hope. You're acting just like you did before.
What happened to those four awesome days?
Speaking of me being a child... you know, ever since we watched those home videos where I was two years old, just a tiny one toddling around... ever since I saw your face just light up as you watched that video, everyone was watching the video but I was watching you... ever since you talked to those young parents about raising young ones and I saw that look of pure wist as you talked about us kids being younger... I wonder... do you not like me now? If you could, would you get rid of me and somehow get baby me again? Was I better then? I didn't have my fiery temper, no rebel streak, no interests, no sass... just a loving little baby.
But... do YOU ever wonder if you could talk to me about my interests? My life? How I've been doing, what with all my older siblings being adults and me being the only teen? Do you care that I write stories? Do you care what I do with my friends? Do you care what I just simply DO in a day?
I need to stop. I'm almost crying and I can't handle that right now.
-Your youngest daughter

Dear Mom,
I know it must be heavy to now know all about my relationship with Dad. You strongly wish that we could be close, that I wouldn't have to grow up like this... I promised I'd try. I told you that I was ready just to give up our relationship cuz it wasn't worth it but you got me to believe it could be. And then look! I get four days of a loving father who makes sure I'm not left out like I always am.
And then poof.
The awesome relationship. It's gone.
Is it ever coming back?
I fear it won't but who knows? I guess I can only wait and see. But, Mom, I know I should keep trying, for you, at least. But it's so hard. I'm ready to quit.
I know you say it's because our personalities can clash but that shouldn't stop us. Right?
Maybe I'm expecting too much from him.
I have this dumb fantasy I like to compare real life to.
Its where dads are loving and kind and protecting. Encouraging and strong. Interested with what their kids do and what they've done that day. Happy to come home and see their kids that they love.
But I guess real life isn't like that, huh? My dad is loving at times, kind when he wants, protecting but in the weirdest way, encouraging if everyone else is, strong but maybe too much, interested in what his oldest kids do but not super interested in what his youngest is, happy to come home but only when it suits him.
Am I horrible to say this?
Yes. Probably. Maybe. Help.
-Your youngest daughter

Dear Dad,
What. Just. Happened.
My emotions can NOT HANDLE THIS MADNESS.
You just came over to me and hugged me and said you loved me?
Excuse me?
Please.
MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND.
This is too much, I'm crying, and I can't let you see this.
I can't tell you this.
Any of it.
I'm scared and stupid.
-Your youngest daughter

[farewell]

Dear X___,

I wish I knew more of your plan for me. I trust that you will take me where I need to go and allow me to prosper as I should but the wait is difficult. I wish I knew why the wait was so long. My life right now feels so up and down - I make decisions and then I realize it was the wrong one. But the other option wasn't much better. Nothing is black and white anymore. Everything I thought I wanted was a lie and it's the worst feeling to come to terms with it.

[Strange_Atoms]

dear c
the only guy I ever crushed on. But you went back to your country. I never got your # or email. You were the first person I ever crushed on. I hope you have a good life, and I miss you.
love
m

[Strange_Atoms]

dear k
you thought I was to dumb to what you were doing. I told you don't try and cross me again. but you did it anyways. You have made a being of rage, a hazy,venomous foe. watch your back, coward.
and don't think hurting anybody else I love will stop me. it will just make me madder.

you hound, I could roast you to the moon and back.

dear g
good god
You are so kind
If you were a boy, i woukd date you XD

Dear N
another day passes that you didn't see
Am I the only one who misses you?
I wish that you know
of how the sun still rises
and how the tigers still roar
but this earth,bare without you
is missing it's spice
but as often as the best laid plans
oft go arry
the sun and the the stars and I
wait for another day
another year
another lifetime to pass

[ShadowOfTheBird]

Dear M;

I know this is petty of me, but I can't lie to myself: seeing you let her back in even just a little bit makes me somewhere between mad and disappointed. I doubt she's tried to contact me again whatsoever, and I haven't been given any indication that she asked about it. She at least tried with you for a little while, but she never did with me. I'm still mad at her, yeah, and the fact that she tried to contact you again just pisses me off even more toward her. And it's stupid and immature of me, I know that, but a part of me just wants you to stop talking to her, in a sort of "if she never made any effort towards me, why should anyone who knows that put in an effort towards her?" It's a selfish line of thinking, but it came across anyways. But will I ever say any of this without a response on the subject first? I doubt it. It's why, again, I hope you see this message. Even though neither of us are ever really on CS anymore.

~K

[Mistfox]

Dear Jack

why don’t you see me? I love you yet you don’t seem to notice my longing for something more than friendship, it’s getting too late, your probably with someone else, you’ve had so many lovers yet I’ve had none even though love like that is my dream, I’m not exactly the most caring person or the easiest to understand, but I would hope that it isn’t what puts you off, maybe your not put off, maybe your just oblivious to my feelings, I’ve tried hints, complements and other suggestions that say I care, please listen, I feel so stupid every single time I see you, knowing I can’t say how I feel, I’m too afraid of rejection because if that happens there will be no hope left.

~Thea


Dear Faith
I hate you so much I wish you were dead, don’t mess with me, I’m the strongest in our fight, our former friendship was torture for me and therefore I never want to see you again, but no matter what I do you don’t know how to stay away, don’t drive me over the edge, it’s better for both of us if you leave me alone or I swear things will get ugly, I’m the better one, I’m the one with friends, I’m the one people like, they may not understand me but your useless. If it was up to me you’d be dead.
~Thea



Dear Leah
You are the best friend I could hope for and I hope that as my 3rd best friend (not including the one week friendships of mine) that we are friends forever, you are probably the best person in my life right now, we are so alike and your great!
~Thea

[yeosang1]

dear K,
though B is my bff, im still mad. I love you so much
, I wish I never lied to you and let you go. I wish
you were mine. I love you so much. I cant even
imagine a life without you
, its too hard. Its such a mean thing to say, but
I want you to be mine, not B's. I really like you. Please come back to me. Please.


Dear M,
your in a much better place now. I wish you didn't leave
me behind like that, but I know you think your in a
better spot and a better place, and I bet your right.
I know you were suffering alot, and I guess I didn't
try hard enough to help keep you safe and feeling
loved. I miss you. I wish there was a way to have
you come back to me, but the only way I can see
you again is in the pictures. You were my sister, my
closest friend, and my entire world. I wish you could
come back to me, even spiritually. I love you.

[w i n t e r.]

dear a.

looks like i was right. you don't like me. i'm not mad at you at all, i can't dictate your feelings and emotions. i just wish you had felt the same. but it's ok. at least i found out before you actually have a girlfriend. i'm going to sleep a little better now that i've told you. i can't say i love you, but that seems like the only way to finish this letter. maybe one day we might be together, maybe it wasn't meant to be. in any case,

i love you.
e