Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[medicalpaws]

ladies, gentlemen, I wrote this horribly embarrassing letter here

Dear my Sweetest Angel,

I miss you so dearly. We won't see eachother anymore, and we certainly cannot be friends to the end. I want to text you every day, I still have hope that we'll be together again one day and I still keep you in my plans. I wish I didn't, because moving on is the most healthy thing I can do. My grandma says I'm taking this breakup way better than anyone could expect, but she doesn't know about the letters I write you in my journal. I'll never send you them, and perhaps keeping them there is the best thing to do. I guess I just hope perhaps you'll find this one day, I've even changed my username to "AngelSpores" with a devilish hope you might read this. You were a wonderful teacher and person to me, you gave me time when others would not. I'm a sensitive type, and I am desperately trying to become stronger so I can find someone like you in the future. My goal now is to find a home, where I'll live as peacefully as I can with a Saint Bernard and my lovely Cathulhu to keep me warm when I sleep alone at night. I'm getting things done with the horrible events you've been enlightened to. I don't need you to hold my hand. The ball is in your court, but I'm not sure if I could ever be comfortable with someone who could leave me so easily. My heart has been crushed, my hero has abandoned me. I'm not sure if you'd ever loved me in the first place, I recall you saying you wished we hadn't moved past friendship and from there I began to distance myself from you. I acted impulsively and irrationally for attention, I wanted you to tell me you loved me, I wanted to stay with you longer than one day a week. After our breakup I did things I regret. Before we started dating, I did the same things but physically. I lied when you asked, I did it to feel protected from the person who I was with. You wouldn't understand, and I don't expect you're feeling happy to read such things. Maybe it's what you needed to see to move on, but maybe you do understand and you're happy I'm crafty enough to get through life. Whatever the case, I want nothing more to feel your loving embrace once again. I want it to be real, I want you to feel comfortable with me and I with you. We are opposites, but we really did make a great team. I'll never forget that night early in our friendship when you said you cared about me. You don't remember, but I do clear as day. You had tears in your eyes, you didn't set them free but they were there, perhaps you were sad I called you a stranger. You told me you really do care about me. When you said that I wanted to hold you close forever and ever, and even after our breakup you're still the man I desire. You had a gun, you frightened me with it because you seemed so upset. I crawled onto your lap and took it away from you, putting it ontop of a table for you to find in the morning. That night was so special to me, even when you puked a little on the couch. I slept in it because i wanted to be close to you. Pretty gross right? I should have cleaned it up but I too was tired and too lovestruck to think clearly. I hated myself for falling so quickly for you, after you'd gone asleep I went away to the middle of the floor and begged Shadow to take me. He sadly complied, I could tell he didn't want to but wanted to please me. He only nipped at me a little bit, I decided I didn't want it to end then and there so I hid in the little pocket you made while you slept in the fetal position. You were so kind and gentle to me in the beginning, I could feel you turning your back to me. I was blind. I'm still blind, I don't want to accept your disappearance in my life. I know you'll find a girl who is perfect for you. I wish it was me. You'll lead a wonderful life, you're caring and helpful. You're stronger than anyone I have ever met, even on boring days you make them interesting. My dear, we are apart now, but my memories will last forever. Thank you for everything Mr. Angel. I'm sorry I wasn't better to you, you deserve the world and all I have is the will to survive. I'm sorry, but I love you <3. People move on, I hope you live long. Fulfill your dreams, you are worth it.

- The one who you called Pumpkin.

He is talking with me again & he went hunting for my chickensmoothie profile & i just

I TOLD YOU!! I TOLD YOU I AM THE EXPERT AT EMBARRASSING MYSELF. There is nothing you can do that will make me feel more embarrassed than the things I do to myself

anyway, I got really into my feels with this letter so if anyone read it I hope you enjoyed yourself laughin at me or whateva.

Have a great day everyone, dreams do come true <3

[LilSpitFire]

Dad,

I dont exactly know where to start, or what I should say. All I know is I miss you. I remember when I was younger and I'd have nightmares, all of them had one thing in common. Loosing you. Little did I know that only last year those nightmares would become a reality.
When /my sister/ told me they found a mass in your kidney, it felt like my breath was taken away. How could the man I looked up to for so long, the strongest man I knew, have cancer? It shook me to my core, and stunned me. I didn't kniw what to do, but ignore it. Ignoring it, at the time, seemed like the thing to do. It kept me sane, for the most part.
My biggest regret was the fact that i ignored it during the early stages. The stages I still could have gone out and done things with you. The stages that you were still, well, you.
I dont know if you were aware of the last few days you were here, or if it was all just a blur. I wish I could tell you that I held your hand for hours, and gave you more kisses than I have in years. I talked to you, but you never responded. I was told touching you was painful, because your body was dying.
I wish I could explain the pain I felt, not being able to hold my best friends hand as he lay in his death bed, struggling to breath. Even a year later, it still hurts.
I miss you dad, more than ever.
I wish I could talk to you again, I could really use you right now.
I love you.

'Creepy'

[Youth Wings]

to my player 2,
You've changed. I went to study in America because I was offered into a college that has a low acceptance rate and it would be a good experience for me.
People change over time, but you've changed a lot and I can't tell if it's for better or worse.
We went from texting every 5 minutes to only texting goodnight.
I finally come back to Tokyo, and you seem like you can barely stand me.
Did I change too? Am I not the same person you once were attracted to?
Did we both change? Was it me or you?
You used to be the cute boy next door, who always held and my hand and played with my hair,
but now you can't even seem to look me in the eye.
Maybe what we had wasn't serious of any sort, but that didn't mean I didn't completely love you.
We where the couple. Both attractive, both bubbly, but most of all,
両方とも愛し合った.
A trophy of a relationship has much more turned into a catastrophe.
ずっと私は握っている従って長く私の手は疲れて.

冬はより暖かい,
あなたのプレーヤー者から

[Raptorfang]

I figured recently that my old posts on this thread have a lot of old emotional baggage I wanna detach myself from, so I'm going through and getting rid of them to help move forward. This is sort of cathartic I guess. Ok peace out.

[CloudNiner]

removed.

[Pineapple_Lilly]

Dear D,
Hey, how are you doing? I hope you're doing good. Since you've disappeared, I've done some digging. You said you wouldn't ever do anything to hurt me... You said you'd always be here for me. Then how can you explain the posts you've made about that guy? "I love him so much!" and "Look at this cutie" you've said about him. I don't know, maybe I'm just misreading it. But you know what? For some reason it doesn't bother me of the fact you may have used me as a cover up that you were gay or the fact you may have cheated on me. Can I be honest? When you still went to the school and after we were dating for a while, I began to lose interest. I know we couldn't hang out as much because of your idiotic parents, but it was the fact you never made an effort in our relationship so I began to figure you were losing interest too. Or maybe it was the fact you've always had your friends around and I didn't like them as much so I either walked past you to let you be or I'd just stay silent nearly the entire time you talked to them. Perhaps, deep down I just always knew this would've happened. Since you left and completely stopped talking to me, I've decided it's to assume you either got caught by your parents or you got tired of me, which leads to me assuming that we are done, but that's okay. Despite the fact that we both probably lost interest in each other and now we are apart, I still deeply miss you. I miss how you used to comfort me when I'd be in one of those emotional moods. When I cried, you were the only one who ever comforted me. If I was angry, you always chased after me and tried to make me laugh. You were just an amazing friend overall and I couldn't ask for someone better than that. Anywho, I hope we get to one day talk again, and we can talk about all that I've talked about in this letter.
~J

[ghost pepper]

leyton,

i was so awful to you. what you did was unacceptable but i left without explanation. i never told you what i was going to do. i never told you why i left. i loved you so so much. and i still see you. time and time again i see you. and all i see is what we had. i mean to speak to you every day. because everything is you. everything i see, we've joked about or something. there's alway something. i can't live with this. i just want you to know why i left you in the moment.

[scullyton]

removed

[cribunni]

so.. C told me about you when she was over at my house. I didn’t know how to take it. it wasn’t the kind of thing that makes someone fall to the ground, more like something that brings you to tears before you even process it. I’m wondering now how bad you were during the year. I noticed that look on your face; the look that says “I am so tired, despite sleeping for 12 hours and crying because I woke up.” I’ve heard the eyes are the window to the soul. I saw your windows broken, and shattered, and my lips still refused to open up. I never said anything. And saying something, even if it’s the most meaningless thing in this universe, is what I do. I am the lifter of spirits. the mender of hearts. but I just watched you, from afar, like you were gonna turn that frown upside down and smile real pretty any moment now. It doesn’t take a fortune teller to know that the cards were not in your favor. and no one was around to hear you calling out. C had 2nd period with you. she told me of the times you had spoke of hating yourself with a passion, and when you cried in the bathroom all hour. I pretended like the gravity in my universe had not shut itself off. My guilt drifted up my lungs and choked me. and then I got some more, cause’ what am I to be guilty for? your sadness has nothing to do with me. you have problems that I do not know of, and me thinking I could solve those simply by speaking to you? how selfish. I keep flashing back to moments this year. I saw you, every day. 3rd period, you would walk in, and we’d look away from each other like those awkward kids at a party they were forced to go to. our silence was thick, and rich. I could drown in the unspoken words between us. see, I am very observant. I can see the emotions in others, even strangers; I count this as my only good trait. you were down, and not the normal kind of down; the down where you are 33,000 feet in the air and your heart sinks through the ground. I know sadness. I know loneliness. and even though I — a stranger you had never spoken to — refused to speak up, I can’t help but feel that all you needed was a hug.

[Glambert]

Dear K,
It’s been almost half a year and not a day goes by where you don’t somehow enter my mind. I wish you didn’t let me see our love fall apart slowly, then suddenly all at once. I wish you made me feel more important. I wish you didn’t make me question on a daily basis what was wrong with me, when really, it was you. I tried to be the best girlfriend I could be, and I just wasn’t enough for you, and that hurts so much to think about because you were my everything. You led me on near the end for months thinking I would catch on that you had been getting feelings for someone else, when really, I just had confidence that you wouldn’t let yourself break such a strong relationship. You gave up so easily on something that really could have had a happy ending. Not only that, but you also broke my heart. I am STILL picking up the pieces of the damage that you have left. I'm trying to move on but it’s hard knowing I’ll probably never get something as good as what we had in the beginning ever again. I don’t necessarily want ‘us’ anymore, I just wish I could get over this pain. All those “I love you’s” went to waste, all your words etched a permanent scar into my heart, and you’ve burned memories into my mind that will last an eternity. Memories that leave me feeling depressed almost every day, wishing I could reverse time and just somehow dodge everything that broke us apart. I want to be friends eventually, but I’m scared you’ll just hurt me again. I’m scared to even try to contact you. Scared you’ll just tell me off for leaving our friendship so soon, but at the time it was just too painful to immediately go from calling you a boyfriend, then have to call you a best friend. I feel like you changed so much that even if I tried to contact you to be friends again, it just wouldn’t work out in the end. I don’t know what to do anymore, I just want to stop hurting.