Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[Resplendent]

Dear self,

What happens happens. Your fear is rooted is not getting any job for the summer, and that's okay. The thing is, this doesn't have to be scary or even a bad thing. Even though getting a job/internship would be ideal, one thing else is that you've worked so incredibly hard over the last 5 years of working your butt off, so much so that despite paying thousands of dollars in tuition, you're still 8 thousand dollars over the financial goal you set for yourself that you wanted to achieve BEFORE going to college/paying tuition. It's as if you never spent a dime.

So, if no gig results from this opportunity, is it not imprudent to maybe take some time off and maybe... enjoy yourself for the summer? After this, there's only one semester left, and the odds of said job keeping you long-term are unknown.

But my point is: even if nothing results from tomorrow, everything will be okay in the end, because your end goal is to get a full-time entry level design position somewhere, which likely won't happen until post-college anyway. You're gonna be okay. You're financially okay. Everything is gonna be okay.

Nothing negative will result from this experience. Just be yourself, you'll hang out with O tomorrow morning, and after everything is said and done, you will celebrate this challenging day with bubble tea.

Most importantly though: what happens, happens. And whatever happens after tomorrow will be the thing that is meant to happen.

[.Vellichor.]

.

I know that you get upset about things, and it's reasonable to be upset. I know you can't always put on a happy face. But you get so cold toward us when we try to be there for you in your bad moments, and at least for me... it hurts. I already feel like I'm not worth much to you because you're always so silent about the things that matter, but when you get outright cold, I don't understand why you're even talking to me. It feels like there's nothing you want from me, more like you just need someone to take it out on.

I can't tell you any of this, because it would just make your unpleasant situation about me. There's nothing I can do but stay out of your way and let you keep being cold. And I don't think that's healthy.

I love you. A lot.

I just don't know what you want me to do.