Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[vicasterology]

you are my best friend in the whole world and i hope youre doing okay
weve grown distant and im so so sorry, its really all my fault
i miss you so so much and god i wish i could have seen you this month but soon, i promise
i hope we can get closer soon madonna, mattybraps, dr phil, waby, and all the other nicknames i gave you

[fern.]

dear e,
i know we havent been together long, but you feel like the person ive been wanting around for a long time. your voice is so sweet, and your laugh brings me so much happiness. you’re just incredibly adorable, and i wish i could cuddle with you forever. our parents opinions of us together make me nervous, but that wont matter pretty soon when i get my own place. ill have you over all the time, and make you chai that i know you love. we can watch over the garden wall and decorate my place with arts and crafts. i just want to make you happy and give you everything you deserve in a partner.
at the same time, im so nervous about over-committing too soon and ruining this. i dont want to screw this up, i just want us to take things day by day and keep having fun and making each other laugh ❤️ ill be sad when you go back to campus, but ill gladly drive any distance to hang out with you
yours,
fern

[stardustreserve]

dear ???,
i feel so strange these days
so far away
will you come save me from myself?
few can, i’m not sure if anyone can
but i want to feel everything fizzle out, and i want to feel okay again
i’m so tired of feeling like everything is unreal and unfamiliar, can’t someone bring the color back to my life?
- unknown

dear parents,
i’m sorry you don’t have another child to be proud of
i should’ve spent my time doing more productive things instead of researching into subjects no one else cares about
i’m sorry
i wish i could do something to prove i’m worth something, but i don’t see any way to
so i’ll stay here
until someone rescues me
but happy endings couldn’t last forever, now could they?
- the youngest child

dear mom,
i’m really sorry for putting my problems on you
and i wish i could do something
but i cant
i’m so sorry for always taking and never giving
you work so hard every day, and i wish i could help
but i don’t have the energy
i hope you know that despite my emotionless exterior i do care
and i wish you didn’t have to be in pain everyday
i wish we could have a nice house and a lot of money and not have to worry about anything anymore
but… i dont know if that would fix everything
i’m tired mom, and sometimes you feel unfamiliar to me too
everything does, and i wish i didn’t feel this way
i wish life was better
i’m scared, is this how things must always be? such questions make me feel even less motivated to do anything
i cant imagine how you may feel
i just wish i could see you happy again, and i mean genuinely happy
- your son

dear f,
i really love talking to you, even if what i respond with is repetitive
and i love to see you happy with your friends
i really wanna hear from you more… i miss you a lot and i’m scared that one day you’ll drift away from me or something (though thats silly, isn’t it?)
you told me you’d always be there for me no matter what i go through, and i’ll always be here for you
you’re… one of my most favorite people in the world, and i hope i never have to lose you by any means
you mean so much to me and i genuinely enjoy your presence
it’s nice listening to stuff with you and spending time with you
i hope you’re doing well, and that these friends are helping you deal with things
remember that i’m here for you, alright?
- love, father/“computer grandpa”

a,
sometimes i wish i could speak to you again
that i could apologise for everything even though i wasn’t even in the wrong
but it’d be silly to go back
i still do sometimes, and it hurts still yet
it’s been what, 2 years? i wish i were over it by now and i wish the unpleasant images in my head were gone but we can’t always get what we wish for
i wonder, are you still with that girl? she seemed very dear to you… even with what happened, you still loved her even if she hurt you… why was that? did it even hurt? you called it an accident but everyone else told me that can’t be accidental… i wonder what’s the truth? regardless, in the end you chose her. and i still can’t help but wonder where i went wrong
i hope you’ve grown since then, at least
i hope you’ve learned to be more loyal and not hurt those who have already been hurt
- someone you no longer know

dearest c,
you keep telling me that you’re here, that you want to help
but i’m afraid i’m past that point, and everything else would make me more unlovable
i don’t understand your kindness. it feels sickly sweet, but i have not done anything to deserve sweets, in fact i quite literally do the bare minimum! so why do you keep spoiling me with kindness? don’t you get tired? i know you’d say that i deserve this, that it’s what you want to do but… it doesn’t feel right
especially not after that one incident which i cannot stop dwelling on… i really need to stop taking everything so personally, but it hurt.
i know i’m probably overthinking it, as that’s what i’m best at
please, don’t go
but let me fade into irrelevancy
don’t stop loving me, but it feels so wrong to be loved at all by anyone
i’m so confused, but i love you and i’m sorry
- cc

[_g0thkit♥]

Dear L
I have feelings for you again, I'm sorry, I know I said we could become better friends again and I genuinely believed there was no way I'd like you, I hadn't thought about you romantically in almost a year since we broke up, but idk what happened, I'm getting butterflies when you text me, you're always on my mind and I feel sad when I think about how you probably won't feel the same again, but it's okay, I know you're having a hard time with friends so I'll put my feelings aside for you and just be there for you as a friend, I love you a lot and I hope one day everything will sort itself out for both of us
- R

[stardustreserve]

dearest c,
i’m sorry. i feel like i’m just like him. you’re so kind to me and yet i don’t do anything
i’m too afraid to say too much because i feel like it makes me unlovable but really i’m just pushing you away and then you truly won’t want to talk to me anymore. i’m sorry, i’m sorry. i’m probably overthinking again but i feel like you’ve been talking to me less and my mind is playing fill in the blanks as to why that could be.

i hate to seem needy, but could you please talk with me more? i really would love to hear about anything really as it’s from you
- with love, cc

dear old friends,
i’m sorry i haven’t reached out to you more but i feel like a different person, and sometimes i mean that in a literal sense i’m not sure if i’m the child you once knew. maybe i pushed them out and took over everything, maybe you want to see them again and i’m sorry if you can’t. i feel like you all would be disappointed if you truly knew me, so i prefer to isolate myself and not think too hard about things. it’s easier to be alone sometimes to be honest…
though, i think a part of me still loves you all a lot and maybe i’ll come around sometime but i’m anxious… please give me time, i’m sorry…
- an old friend

[ParaKitty]

S,
We tried, we really did, but you chose to deflect and focus on the minor points we brought up instead of the major ones and correcting your behaviors that we found problematic. I agree the minor points shouldn’t have been brought up, I thought they were pretty irrelevant. Annoying maybe but not harmful to anyone so those were uncalled for. If we didn’t care and wanted to drop you, we woulda done that long ago without trying to find ways to get the major points through your head as nice as possible. It’s not just recent, they’ve been bringing up those points for years and you still haven’t changed. Then you go rewording and exaggerating things to fit your narrative. You asked why we didn’t individually tell you at those times, that’s a good point I’ll admit. However you also have a history of being hot headed and it’s kinda hard finding ways to tell you things without you getting mad or deflecting it back at us sometimes. When they talked to you, you thanked them saying you’ll do some reflections then you go and slander them to outsiders and ultimately left. They even made sure to tell you that they don’t plan on dropping you and comforted you, but you insist that the whole thing is an attack against you. You know you made your oldest friends cry right? Even your first ever friend who you put on a pedestal and try to overprotect so much over the years. Look at who hurt her now. You can’t say they don’t care or were blatantly attacking you just because. We sent all the people who are good with talking and comforting too. Maybe it’s cuz you just left us yesterday and it hasn’t hit me quite yet, but for some of the others it feels like a breakup we all going through together. Idk maybe it’s kinda hitting as I type. It was nice knowing you and you’re not a bad person with bad intentions I’ll tell you that. Kinda unexpected and unfortunate our friendship ended and not on a very good note. It is what it iss

E,
Ah so glad it was just a lil bad week or few weeks. I gave up on getting my key back and I won’t text him back anymore cuz I don’t want you to worry about things that aren’t happening or risk losing you over my past. I miss having you over though ngl and still kinda bummed I’m not allowed over, but oh well. At least I think we’re good rn. I hope at least one of us get more freedom so we can hang out more often though. I love you so so much I would reallyyy like to see you soon. :) Texting just don’t hit as good as your physical presence yk. The one I can hold and kiss for hours. Still in disbelief how I bagged someone so great. And you’re actually respectful and understand consent? Bare minimum? Yes. Hard to find? Unfortunately yes. Honestly idk what ima do if we ever part. I hope we don’t cuz idk how or if I’d ever heal from that. You’re so my type omg pls don’t ever doubt my love for you. I will smother you. Your smile? Cute. Laugh? Even cuter. Pout? Adorable. Hair? Fluffy. Hands? Holdable. Kisses? Amazing. Hugs? Super comfy. Voice? Free therapy. Funny? Hell yea. Dumb? Like me. You? Mine. Hotel? Trivago. I’m almost caught up with one piece ehehehe should be caught up in 11 days. I started one piece to have another thing to talk about with you. You better appreciate it >:0 Aa I wanna take more pictures with or of you. Need more of u. My storage died I got nothing to lose now ahahaha. Was hoping to see you over summer but painnn :’(

T,
I hope u trashed my key or at least don’t break into my house since you don’t wanna just drop it off and I’m not coming over cuz that and you are shady thanks. Lol yea you’re blocked now don’t question it or tell me to unblock you.

M,
Wowww it’s not that serious why u gotta have a tracking app on me now. Why you so pressed? Excuseee me ion like having my location tracked. What if I wanna hang out with my s/o? He’s not like that other one and it was technically a one time mistake anyway no irreversible damage and I’m not repeating it. One mistake and now it’s “no more boys till you like 28”. Naww I like this one im keeping him idc public or private none of ur concern. I’ll just hide him then. How often do I go to places that you can’t find me? Like maybe twice this whole year and it’s not like I woulda died or was in any danger. The first time you just suck at directions the second time I didn’t ask you to follow, but you insisted. I was fine I didn’t die. I don’t need parental supervision for everything new. For that you wanna know my location 24/7? If I ever go out it’s with the same friends I’ve been with for years it’s not like they’re gonna leave me in a random ditch. I could always share my location at the time if I needed to. Damn who even told you about the app nosy ass. Maybe I shoulda snuck out more while I had the chance.

G,
Ion get why you gotta know who I’m with and where I go and when I’m coming home. I already got m’s permission. I get safety but y’all lil overprotective. Lemme breathe. You ask why I’m cooped up in my room all day then ask too many questions and make too many comments and gotta approve stuff when I go out. I like my privacy thanks.

[.Elysian.]

Dear E,

You have been my role model throughout my life and I am so grateful you are here. These days I’ve noticed we have gotten stronger yet farther away from each other. I feel like it’s come to the point where you would rather be with others than with me. I love that you found someone to love with your heart but please don’t forget me.


Dear L,
Quite strange for me to be writing a message. I think these feelings for you have stuck for almost 2 years. A little too late for me to withdraw now. We are friends but yet I still feel an awkward tension between us. I think we have more time to grow despite me already liking you. I don’t know how you feel since I can’t seem to crack into that kind of yours. Some days you make my days bright and other days I feel like we are distanced. Please let our friendship grow.

[breezey]

hey you !


these days , i've been feeling really tired . not a bad tired , per se , but like , more of a "i did so much today" tired ( so , neutral , i guess ? ) . overall though , i'm doing alright ! not sure why you'd want to know or if you'd really want to know in the first place . i hope you're doing well too . there's a lot i haven't been able to tell you lately — i got these skull earrings that i thought you might think are cool and picked up the piano ! maybe we could do a duet or something , i don't know . anyways , that's enough about me — there's somethings i want to tell you : i hope you're . doing okay . i understand what you did and why you had to do it . maybe not completely , but at the same time , i get it . i don't blame you for it , and though i'm still pretty upset about it all , i don't hate you for it either . i don't think i ever could , truly . you're a good friend , and a good person . i know you're working really hard and i'm proud of you ! keep your chin up !! i'm not sure if you'll ever read this , if you're even on here anymore either , but i'm rooting for you ! :)
your friend ,
ven .

[dove_]

dear _ and _,

do you not care? you guys ghost me constantly. the effort in your texts are next to zero if anything, and you're always 'busy'. i wanna hang out, but apparently you're busy, so you push it back to next week. and lets not talk about the last time we called. oh lord. you're indecisive, but it doesnt even happen. i'm a second option at this point. you even had the audacity to tell me that your friends are not calling you so we should call! and the time you guys ignored me on ft together when i was practically screaming in the mic. yall love to leave me out of activities. i thought we would be lifetime friends. i thought we would last as a trio. i want to drop you. i really do. and i practically have. you just dont know yet.

a stranger you know,
spidr

[scarlet_benoit]

To you,

Darling. Beloved. One. I might look back on this in a year and cringe, but this is now. Not then.
This is going to end, and I am devastated. I had put up an emotional wall so thick that the only thing I could feel was low, simmering anger, but the dam broke earlier and I found myself shaking on the bedroom floor, wiping snot on my pants like some disgusting creature because I had no tissue and I didn't want to run headfirst into my brand new roommate in the hallway. Pain in my chest that threatens to suffocate me, and quivering hands that betray the fragility of my heart. I do not want to be weak, and I do not want to love in this moment. Everything in me cries out to wound you for this treachery. I hurt, and I want you to hurt too. I want you to weep as you have made me weep. So I struck out at you with every word I knew would hurt you, hoping that you would feel even a portion of this same sting and prove that you did love me once. That you still do. Hoping to provoke your anger and make you stay a little longer, or feel this burning in my chest to light a match in your own heart and inspire you to fight. To want me. Please want me. Please. And yet, you responded with as much patience and helplessness as I think anyone could muster under such a siege. I know this hurts you too, but why does it not hurt enough to try to preserve it and save yourself from the pain? Why can't I make you promise to stay?
I think I hate you. I think you are a coward. I think I want you to suffer so much that I can see it in everything you do, so that I am not alone. I refuse to sink alone. WHY DON'T YOU CARE MORE? I am furious, and I am wasting my last few days of loving you on it. I hate myself for loving foolishly. I hate that I have allowed this to happen. No one should ever be close enough to tear through me like this.
And I hate myself for being so angry and malicious. This is not me, yet here I am, acting on the darkest aspects of myself anyway. I don't want to hurt you, not really. Your tears are as awful as my own. Maybe worse. I don't like it when you cry. It hurts me too. I wanted a lifetime with you, so why am I trying to crush you in the final moments of this story? I want to tell you that I wanted to marry you. I don't think I ever will, though, it seems like a secret best kept to spare both of us the pain. I know logically that this is not a decision you take lightly, but I do hate that you essentially made it without me and left me to helplessly fight back against it. I don't know if I can forgive you for that, even if I want to. You promised me. I trusted. Maybe that's where love is blind.
Everyone says "you'll get tougher as you grow", "you'll get better at dealing with things", "you'll grow a thick skin". I don't want that. I want to be gentle, and soft. I don't know how to heal, but I don't want scars or callouses. I do not want to be tough. That sounds so lonely.
So here I am, hoping against hope yet again. Please. Please don't go. I want you, and I will do anything feasible to keep you.
And if that doesn't work, then I beg some being to give me the strength to say goodbye to you.

-L

Dear Artemis,

Accepting any recruits?