Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[Loxo]

Dear R,

Thank you so much for everything.
I’m sorry that I’m not the person you want me to be, but I want you to know that I’m trying.
You don’t have to be so protective of me all the time. I love you, but I won’t be able to rely on you forever. Honestly, that scares me more than anything.
I need my space. I have to have at least a little free time.
You’re the best.
With love,
(Insert name here)

[Atlas ♥]

---- --------,

I feel guilty for loving you because I know I shouldn't..

You're so perfect though. You are kind and sympathetic,
you're positive despite what happens in the world and
you never judge people.

You might not see these qualities in yourself but I do.
My feelings for you are growing as I write this post.

I wish we could spend more time together and try to
form a relationship but I know it'll never happen. I'm
not your type.

I'm a nerd who loves staying inside and reading. You
prefer the outdoors and socialising with people. So
unfortunately, I'm just going to allow my heart slowly
break because I know things will never work out
between us.

[spirited away]

Dear d,
When will you think of me for once? It's always about me in my mind, because outside the mind it is always about you. God I want to stop being you friend and bring pain to you, will you even care? You haven't seemed to care about the other things I do. Why would you care now, I thought I finally got rid of that disgusting rodent of a girl. And like a rodent, she always reappears, god I wish something bad would happen to her. If she was gone I wouldn't mind. Back tracking to you, S T O P okay? I get it, your a horrible friend, and i'm a horrible person. You made me cry yesterday, did you even know. If you knew would you care? Eh probably not because your so one-sided it hurts. And don't even get me started on your friendship skills. Like whats the point? Huh? Please change my mind and tell me. God sometimes It hurts to say your my best friend, because what we have isn't friendship. What we have is a FAKE friendship. Friends text, talk, go shopping, watch tv, and don't make me feel unloved, unworthy, ugly, annoying, useless. If out of the blue YOU ever read this, Hey D you suck at being a friend. You don't know how to treat the other end, you don't know how to comfort me or read me. I'm hurting and you DONT CARE.
You suck.
God I'm so mad right now, I know when I'm feeling better I will regret writing this. BUT IF YOU DONT CARE THEN I DONT.
t h i n k a b o u t m e f o r o n c e i s i t t h a t h a r d
-ash

(spirited away)

[darkjellies]

Xxxxxxx

[aaAAA]

lao niang,
i was never good at showing you my appreciation
but i love you and everything you’ve done for me
thank you for taking care of me and didi
thank you for raising mom
i’m sorry i wasn’t a better grandchild
rest well
- jesi

dad
sod off
i’m so tired
you can’t understand what you do to me
i’m insecure and scared for my life
i’m a student, for gods sake
i’m enraged for m every time you yell at him
it takes everything out of me to restrain myself from breaking something
and i get it. you’re not fit to be a father
please try
- j

[Snowlondon]

Sorry SC.

[Loxo]

Dear B,

I wish you were here.
I’m sorry about all the things I did to you, but I hope you know that you’re still my best friend. Thanks for always being there for me.
You’ll find happiness eventually .
From,
(Insert name here)

[Soll]

Dear some people;

I hate the fact that some people on this earth even exist??? What's the point of you existing if all you do is feed off of everyone else's happiness like a leech feeding on blood?? I've done EVERYTHING in my power to pour all of my happiness into you and all you've done is take it and pretend you're okay for the day then beg for more pity and have me pour more into you, I have no happiness left in myself because I've given it all to you. I'm broken, I'm empty, I'm in pain, and I'm craving death. I said I would just breathe slowly and I'll get better, but how am I supposed to breathe when I'm being suffocated in my own self hatred?? No one EVER gives me a break, no ones thinks that maybe I'M not okay, everyone always thinks about themselves and the fact that I'm a pawn that they could feed off of and manipulate into being their little puppet. How am I supposed to fix something inside of me that wasn't broken in the first place? How am I supposed to just put a band-aid over my wounds and pretend like they don't sting and bleed every single night because I keep going at them hoping that at some point I'll feel something, ANYTHING. Blood comes out and I make noises but for some reason I still feel hollow inside(metaphor not self harm), like I'm just a shell of who I was when I was young. I want to be pure and happy again, but the scars are always gonna be here to remind me that I'm nothing but a torn puppet that has just been thrown away.
I just keep getting thrown away.
And people ask me why I have such terrible trust issues. Have any of you gone through 12 friends deaths, your parents leaving you, half of your family disowning you, bulllying, attacked, tortured, broken, forgotten about, GOTTEN RID of?
I don't think any of your little spoiled asses have ever dealt with the amount of pain that I'm been forced to feel, you get EVERYTHING you want, you have everyone on your side, you own the school practically, you're the person with the "perfect body" and the "best sense of humor." In reality, your sense of humor is me, making fun of me and me specifically. You outed me for being gay in the cafeteria on the microphone and you ruined my life. After you outed me, I was tortured, broken, bullied, shunned, and absolutely destroyed. You were everything I ever wanted in life, and those few words in front of those 300 people, those words... "Railyn **-** is a lesbian,".... it spread around the school within minutes, and before I knew it I was the "Short red-headed ******" for the entire school.
I just, don't understand why I was the target for everything, what did I ever do to ANY of you?
I'm not okay
Just stop
stop asking
stop hoping
stop praying
stop breaking me
I'm done, I give up

[Alex Danvers]

Dear R,

You’re an amazing person and I hold you very dear to my heart..

I wish you would finally realize how much it means for me to talk to you outside of school..

You have ‘episodes’ where you don’t talk for days, and that’s okay, but if I have no clue about them, I’m going to worry and think that you don’t care to speak to me..
I just want to be there for you.. I don’t know if you realize that I still have feelings for you, or if it matters.

You told me that during the time you stopped replying, you weren’t on your phone. But we both know that isn’t true seeing as you posted on social media.

I just wish things were better. Overall we have the best friendship, I could never even have dreamt of a relationship like ours. But please just stop giving me the impression that you don’t want me to be involved sometimes.. it kills me

[Alex Danvers]

(back for another so soon aha)

Dear J,

You were my best friend. You truly meant the world to me for a long-ish period of time. I was there for you and you were there for me; we were inseparable.

But then you got a new boyfriend, specifically, one who lived in our town, unlike the one before. You and I, we talked every day, almost every minute of the day.

You cared, but nowhere near as much as I needed. I forgave you time and time again for ditching me for your boyfriend. I was so oblivious. It hurt the most on Halloween night.. (days before, you invited me to hang out). That made me unbelievably happy; I’ve never spent a holiday with a friend before. When that night came, your boyfriend sent you a text asking you to hang out. You left me. You said you felt bad, but you only felt bad because you hurt me, not because you wanted to be around me. Not because you realized what you were doing was wrong. I remember how your sisters said “Wow, she just left you..” and how I was so fed up that I responded with “I’m used to it.” Of course it came back to you. I always made you feel bad for hurting me, but you always hurt me, so I think that was pretty fair.

When January came along, your responses became slower and shorter. I would always question you because the anxiety killed me inside. You always told me you were busy, which was wrong. Maybe you got busy sometimes, but when you sit in my car and tell me about your texts between you and your boyfriend, you’re a liar. I realize now why it took me so long to realize how bad of a friend you were. It’s because I had no one. It’s because my anxiety caused me to focus so much on you and what I did wrong to cause such changes in our friendship.

When we hung out at the fair, you brung your ex boyfriend along. Truthfully, I’m the one who made the night way worse than it should have been. But you shouldn’t have involved him, not when it was our night.

You, your boyfriend, and your cousin talked badly about me. You called me clingy. Your cousin said that I’m a terrible third/fourth wheel. Your boyfriend said I never gave you and him alone time. Listen, I was clingy because I was afraid. I was afraid of losing our friendship. I was clingy because I was scared that if I wasn’t, you’d leave me. And the thing about me not giving you two alone time? Well, hun, if you wanted alone time, why would the two of you stand half a foot in front of me, making out, every day? I’m not even exaggerating. You never even took up for me. I found out about this through a friend of mine (who didn’t take up for me either, and guess what? We’re not friends now either). I confronted you. You got mad. You took your boyfriend’s side.

During lunch, you would get mad if I was unhappy, but I was unhappy because you ignored me. My unhappiness caused me to ruin potential fun times with other friends. I did everything for you. I drove you home and to work. I took you out places to eat (only seldom would I pay, though). I cared for you when you were upset. I loved you. Mother tried telling me you didn’t care as much as I did, but I wouldn’t have it.

I blame you. I blame you for my terrible anxiety, I really do. I don’t normally blame people for my mental issues, but I do blame you. I hate you for the way you’ve treated me. You tried to become friends with me again on my birthday and I almost actually gave in. I did agree to hanging out, but after that, realized we were never going to be best friends again, thankfully. I truthfully hate you now.

Sincerely,
Your ex best friend.