- Frantic.
I want to go back into denial, please. I don't want these feelings. Why did my therapist have to remove that barricade? It was keeping me safe. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to believe it. The mental anguish is devouring me. I don't want to hate my mother, I really don't. She means well, I know. But the pain of knowing how much she's hurt me and how I am this mess because of her- it hurts. I'm internally furious at her- I can't stand her for all of these things. All of my memories are getting distorted into the truth, making the spider web she's spun suddenly clear to see. I can't stop shaking and my head is spinning, it's just too much for me.
