♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V6♥

[frogpeex]

going on two years with my girlfriend, which means it's also been almost two years since we met in person. covid and money problems have been keeping us apart and it's been very hard. we had plans to visit, but i'm really struggling financially and i had to call it off. i'm just worried that the longer we go not seeing each other physically the more we will drift apart, but that's probably mostly my anxiety. it hurts.

Distance doesn't always have to mean drifting apart. I suggest trying to at least check in daily and call whenever you can to keep up communication. Communication is key for a relationship. You prolly know all this already but it's so important. Let her know your concerns about this, I am sure she can add light to this issue.

[frogpeex]

Hello! I guess I'm here for a bit of advice. Recently a coworker/friend of mine tried setting me up with one of her guy friends. He's unfortunately in another country rn bc he's in the military, but he and I hit it off immediately over facetime and he was facetiming me for long periods of time multiple times for the past few weekends. Talking with him made me really happy and it was the first time that i've ever felt comfortable with a guy i was interested in and felt like i could trust him. It was definitely the type of feeling and relationship that I would want from a guy that I would eventually want to date down the line. At this point, he's gone almost radio silent on me all of a sudden after facetiming for 5 hours last weekend. I have no idea what happened. Now, my advice isn't specifically about this guy in particular, but I guess just in general. Idk why but every time a guy is interested in me (although that already happens few and far between times) and I'm interested back, after a very short period of time I either get ghosted or realize I've just been getting taken advantage of bc people know i'm too nice and extremely easy to walk all over so when they don't feel good about themselves they know I'm a good fit to boost their ego and be kind and gentle with them (or a combination of both! which always feels great! /s). I'm an adult and have never been in a serious relationship and I don't think anyone has ever sincerely liked me or been attracted to me and I just want to know what i'm doing wrong. I know i struggle with my confidence and self-esteem but I've been working very hard on that in therapy recently. I'm definitely not very traditionally "cool" or "pretty", and my interest in animals is probably a lot for most people to handle (aka - i'm a "weird horse girl", and honestly just the weird cow, dog, and several other animal species lady at this point). I just want to figure out what about me tends to be a dealbreaker so that if its something i can work on i can improve myself for the future. obviously i'm not going to give up any of my passions for a man, but it would be nice to know if there's something i could do better with.

I think the other part of the issue is i don't really go out and meet people which my parents and even some friends suggest. even if i did try and go out in the world and meet people, i'm getting my master's degree so around a college town, yeah of course there will be people my age, but there's so many younger students since undergrads likely outweigh the amount of grad and phd students. there's also dating apps but i'm petrified of using them for some reason?? so i'm not really helping myself on that front and maybe i just need to learn to embrace that technology and just give it a try.

thanks in advance to anyone who lends a helping hand and has any advice<33

first of all dating apps can have creeps so i suggest keeping your distance from those. As for finding the correct one for you, there are plenty of animal enthusiasts out there. Please don't be afraid to show what you have a passion for. It can be hard to tell if a guy is using you but they can drop some major red flags. If you want more info on those flags lmk. As for the original dude I have a couple thoughts on that though idk if i should voice them.

[BadgerBuddies]

first of all dating apps can have creeps so i suggest keeping your distance from those. As for finding the correct one for you, there are plenty of animal enthusiasts out there. Please don't be afraid to show what you have a passion for. It can be hard to tell if a guy is using you but they can drop some major red flags. If you want more info on those flags lmk. As for the original dude I have a couple thoughts on that though idk if i should voice them.

One of my friends just started to use a dating app a couple weeks ago and kinda was pushing me towards it and even went as far as combing through my social media for the pictures she wanted me to use for the profile, but I told her no and wasn’t sure if I was comfortable using them as you’re definitely not the first person to say that, I just wasn’t sure if I was making the wrong choice and being overly cautious and it was the reason I’ve been alone all this time. As for the red flags I feel like I can spot them when it’s not me involved which is really unfortunate, but feel free to either reply back here or PM me at any time with any further advice about this guy bc I’m definitely feeling a lot better despite how he just disappeared without a trace but it’s more a blow to my already very low self esteem than it is missing him I think. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to help me!!!<33

[jelly is vegetable]

how "does this work"? do people persue and then get to know, or go "what the heck, i'll give it a shot, when's good for you?" I don't think I could do that and is that wrong? sometimes I don't even know if I can feel that type of love. and I'm still so convinced I need a boyfriend like how some people need a kidney transplant. but all I have is "a Husbando" who may or may not count as a soulbond as well.(why isn't there an active waifu/husbando topic?), but if that dosen't make me happy, would a boyfriend with a pluse?

[pictochat]

Idk why but I'm anxious to be in this thread.
I need help. I'm dating a nice but problematic girl and I'm still in love with my toxic ex. Idk what to do or why I'm feeling the way i am.

[_g0thkit♥]

I don't know what to do, I dated this girl about a year ago and I rlly liked her but she broke up with me, it was all fine and I got over it and we kind of became friends, recently we've been talking a bit more and I somehow caught feelings again, I don't want to like her because I'm scared of getting rejected again, but i like her a lot and I guess I'm kinda hoping she might like me again as well but I feel like it won't happen, I think I should just keep my feelings to myself and wait them out and just be there for her as a friend but I really don't know, maybe I should just tell her and apologize? Let her know how I feel and that i don't expect her feelings in return, I don't want to ruin the friendship or make her uncomfortable hhh

[ghostpops]

i could really use some insight, i'm not sure if my current relationship is toxic but i'm afraid it might be,
i've been dating my boyfriend for 16 months now, and at first everything was all butterflies and flowers perfect, but as it went on he's become more and more emotionally draining, if i don't answer his texts within 8 minutes sometimes less, he'll spam call me and spam text me demanding to know what happened when in reality i just turned my phone off for a moment to do something else that would only take a minute. i've asked him countless times to stop but whenever i do he gets really upset and panics or breaks down crying and it's somehow my fault? for reference i have schizoid personality disorder which in short means i just need time alone sometimes. i love him dearly but he wants me to up and move states away from home to be with him and i'm not sure if i want to make that commitment anymore, he's really draining to be around nowadays. i want to hope things will go back to the way they used to be, i had a talk with him about it again today that ended without tears but he mentioned the fact i said he was guilt tripping me last night? and how much that hurt him (he literally was guilt tripping me, i told him i feel awful when he cries because i want to take care of him but im not there and he took it as he cant cry around me anymore and i hate him?) i'm starting to think he's emotionally manipulative but i've invested so much into this relationship i don't want to give up yet.
i'd also like to bring up he's cheated on me once too but i forgave him, he's also pressured me into doing things i wasn't comfortable with then afterwards he started crying saying he didn't want that and that i wanted it so that's why he did it ???
i don't want to leave him but i'm at my wits end with him

update: we're talking about it now. fingers crossed

[Sixx O'Clock]

i could really use some insight, i'm not sure if my current relationship is toxic but i'm afraid it might be,
i've been dating my boyfriend for 16 months now, and at first everything was all butterflies and flowers perfect, but as it went on he's become more and more emotionally draining, if i don't answer his texts within 8 minutes sometimes less, he'll spam call me and spam text me demanding to know what happened when in reality i just turned my phone off for a moment to do something else that would only take a minute. i've asked him countless times to stop but whenever i do he gets really upset and panics or breaks down crying and it's somehow my fault? for reference i have schizoid personality disorder which in short means i just need time alone sometimes. i love him dearly but he wants me to up and move states away from home to be with him and i'm not sure if i want to make that commitment anymore, he's really draining to be around nowadays. i want to hope things will go back to the way they used to be, i had a talk with him about it again today that ended without tears but he mentioned the fact i said he was guilt tripping me last night? and how much that hurt him (he literally was guilt tripping me, i told him i feel awful when he cries because i want to take care of him but im not there and he took it as he cant cry around me anymore and i hate him?) i'm starting to think he's emotionally manipulative but i've invested so much into this relationship i don't want to give up yet.
i'd also like to bring up he's cheated on me once too but i forgave him, he's also pressured me into doing things i wasn't comfortable with then afterwards he started crying saying he didn't want that and that i wanted it so that's why he did it ???
i don't want to leave him but i'm at my wits end with him

update: we're talking about it now. fingers crossed

Speaking from personal experience, this is most definitely a toxic relationship and you really should seriously consider just ending it. I've been on both sides of this kind of relationship and I've learned that it never ends well, even if you try to make it better. It seems to me that he has his own things to work on, and he's expecting too much of you to just fix those problems for him. It would be better for you both if you just cut it off and focused on yourselves for a while. I know how much it can hurt putting that much effort in only for it to fall apart, but in the end it's better that way.

------

So I met a guy on a dating app, and we've been talking for the past couple weeks. I kind of had a mental breakdown over the weekend and he's just the sweetest thing about it, he's been so patient with me and keeps trying his best to make me feel better. If nothing else, he's a great friend, but I hope someday we might be something more. I'm just trying not to rush into anything. We live three hours apart, and I don't really deal well with long-distance relationships, so I dunno if we would work out in a relationship anyway.

[Chemicello]

i could really use some insight, i'm not sure if my current relationship is toxic but i'm afraid it might be,
i've been dating my boyfriend for 16 months now, and at first everything was all butterflies and flowers perfect, but as it went on he's become more and more emotionally draining, if i don't answer his texts within 8 minutes sometimes less, he'll spam call me and spam text me demanding to know what happened when in reality i just turned my phone off for a moment to do something else that would only take a minute. i've asked him countless times to stop but whenever i do he gets really upset and panics or breaks down crying and it's somehow my fault? for reference i have schizoid personality disorder which in short means i just need time alone sometimes. i love him dearly but he wants me to up and move states away from home to be with him and i'm not sure if i want to make that commitment anymore, he's really draining to be around nowadays. i want to hope things will go back to the way they used to be, i had a talk with him about it again today that ended without tears but he mentioned the fact i said he was guilt tripping me last night? and how much that hurt him (he literally was guilt tripping me, i told him i feel awful when he cries because i want to take care of him but im not there and he took it as he cant cry around me anymore and i hate him?) i'm starting to think he's emotionally manipulative but i've invested so much into this relationship i don't want to give up yet.
i'd also like to bring up he's cheated on me once too but i forgave him, he's also pressured me into doing things i wasn't comfortable with then afterwards he started crying saying he didn't want that and that i wanted it so that's why he did it ???
i don't want to leave him but i'm at my wits end with him

update: we're talking about it now. fingers crossed

from an outsider's perspective this doesn't sound like a healthy and balanced relationship. he sounds completely dependent on you, which it doesnt sound like you want. him constantly spam calling you etc isn't considerate or rational behaviour from him and you shouldnt feel like staying with him just because things were once good. i cant tell you to leave him but from what you've written you need someone who will recognise your boundaries and not play with your feelings so much.
i hope you resolve this and everything goes well! <3

[Sansybones]

Hello! Uh,, I never thought I'd come here for advice.. but I'm in a really tough spot right now.. maybe I could get some help?
I believe I've posted here before but that was probably a good year or so ago.

Recently (July 16), my boyfriend of two years admitted to me in tears that he's been cheating on me since January of this year with one of his old gal friends.
Her name is Blue (I don't know her actual name anyway.) I met her last year because my boyfriend wanted to show me his friends. Everyone was super nice and supportive! Calling me cute and saying they're gonna "steal me away from him." Which was an uncomfortable comment because I'm super loyal but at the time I didn't think much of it..
Now we soon found out that Blue isn't too nice of a person. She's polyamorous and enjoys cheating on one partner with the next. Her main favorite though is a guy we call Dom. Dom is super nervous and doesn't speak out because Blue is also a master manipulator. She's extremely power hungry and loves playing the victim.
Well she kicked me from her server for making a joke about "top 10 basic ocs" to which I listed off common oc tropes. I even have some of the ocs mentioned so I wasn't trying to be mean at all! She even muted friends who tried to defend me.
Whatever, I thought.. I just blocked Blue and encouraged my friends to do the same.
Apparently during January, my bf went back to hang out with his friends.
I don't wanna be controlling at all, so I trusted him and thought "hey, I can't stop em from being friends with people."
Big mistake..
He told me recently that he and her had been "fake dating" where he didn't actually love her and just wanted to use her to delete the server.
He hung out with her and did whatever she said. He missed my birthday because her an his friends had a movie night, he video and voice chatted with her.. even exchanged naughty vcs and pictures.. which had me shocked and distraught.
I broke up with him instantly.
This all came up because I discovered a dead server and ran into Blue on there.. to which she lied to my face and asked me how my bf was doing, talking about how she hates men because they're always catching feelings for her.. little did I know until later that she was talking to my boyfriend.
Every friend of his knew about what had happened and not one confronted or told me..

So now I'm here.. and I really have been having trouble coping with all this.. is there any way I can receive some comfort and support? I'd really appreciate it..