TheComfortCorner | V.7

[Kitty Cheshire]

pm please? xx

[Jodjo]

i have a doctors appointment tomorrow
enough said
id appreciate a pm

[arabella !!]

i dont know how i feel but its not a good feeling and i just want to cry

I'm so sorry hun, I hope everything gets better soon! <3 -Hugs-

[decembuary;]

hi there, i'm seeking advice.

so, i flunked a math test. i got a 75%, and i am genuinely traumatized. tests count for 50% of our grade - i had a 94% overall course grade in math previously, and this 75% mashed together with my other assignment grades gave me an overall course grade of 88%. which, to say, isn't //that// bad - unfortunately, i'm Chinese and getting an 88% to my parents is basically the equivalent of failing something.

my parents have reacted negatively to an A- in the past, and i am very sure that this 75% will legitimately kill me. i really want to get it off my chest and just confess, so that way even if my mom has a volcanic explosion of anger, it'll be in the past and afterwards the worst she could do is just do the silent treatment to me.

admittedly, i probably would have just hid the test grade from my parents normally - getting a 75% sets an all time lowest grade record for me, and i //know// i can get past it.

unfortunately, parent-teacher conferences are available to be scheduled the week after next week. my mom scheduled, which means she'll be going to see my teachers and i swear on my arm my math teacher will most likely bring up that 75%.

i am really terrified. while taking the test i cried because i was almost certain i had failed, and two times this weekend i cried over it. i really don't know how to show to my mom this one grade isn't gonna make me homeless or cause my math teacher to murder me.
my other grades, besides math, are doing fine; 97%, 98%, 100%, 93%, 100%. however, whenever it comes to math, suddenly my other grades apparently don't exist anymore and the only thing that matters is that 75% and 88%. my mom constantly tells me that math is the most important subject, and this really restrains me from wanting to just confess.

i'm going to ask my teacher on some questions in which i don't understand where i messed up, and ask her for possible extra credit assignments, because i genuinely do care that i screwed up this badly. i hope that it shows i care, but i don't know how to show my mom i care.
as far as she's concerned, i'm always glued to the laptop; which, from her perspective, isn't exactly incorrect. right when i get home from school, i do all my homework and stuff and by the time either of my parents get home, all they ever see of me is me lounging on the couch. i would really like to know what is a way to (politely) argue to my parents that i do care about my grades and that i'm not lazing around all day. my other grades wouldn't work as a compelling argument - the only response they'd have is "well, if you were truly dedicated, then you'd be an all A student, not an A and B student."

so i'm gonna ask my teacher for the extra credit assignments and whatnot.
my dad and i go for a short run around the neighborhood everyday, and my dad is calmer than my mom, so i was thinking i could bring it up to him there and flatout tell him that i screwed up. what would be the best way to tell my dad about it? i was also hoping that i could ask my dad to come with me to tell my mom about the grade, but my dad and my mom get into fights kinda often. it's more my mom has an overreactive temper - my mom gets annoyed too easily, and my dad is less organized than my mom is, which really irritates her. i'm afraid that if i ask my dad to come with me, my mom will blame everything on the both of us, and i really don't want my dad to have to be responsible for something that's my fault - eg. "look, our dumb daughter inherited all of your genes! if she was anything like me, she wouldn't be such a screwup!", "see? i was right - all the both of you ever do is browse internet and not give a damn about being a decent human being", "when i was younger, if i got a grade like that, my mother would have just kicked me out of the house, so stop complaining because you've got it easy", "you're going to be homeless when you grow older. maybe you should start doing more chores around the house, so you could at least be a maid and not be totally penniless when you're older", "i'm being exceptionally nice. when i was younger, my mother would have just slapped across the face if i were like you, so appreciate that". my mom uses these kinds of insults way too often. i just want my dad to be there to mellow her temper a bit, not for her to yell at him as well and ruin both her day and ours.

thanks, if you can reply. sorry about the wall of text.

tl;dr - my grades are good but i screwed up really badly on a math test (got a 75%) and now my grade is an 88% + my parents are very strict about grades; parent-teacher conferences are only two weeks away and i'm scared my math teacher will bring up the 75%
my main questions
- how to show my parents & teacher i care about my grades?
- should i confess? if so, how?
- would it be somewhat of a bad idea to ask my teacher to not mention the test grade during the conference?

[guh-huh!]

aaaaaaauuugh.
a lot of crappy stuff has been going on in my life and now to make matters worse?
i just crashed my car today.

first and foremost, i've always hated playing sports but i guess i'm talented at them?
so my parents force me to play sports so that i can get out of the house more, and
because they're pretty sure i like to do them.
i've been voicing my opinion on how i hate playing sports for a really long time, but of
course, my parents just think that i'm being moody and belligerent. they think that because
i'm a moody teenager i don't know what's best for me and without sports i would just stay
at home and have no friends. and maybe at one point i did like sports? but now i just feel
physically ill whenever i play them and angry for no apparent reason. there's so much i'd
rather do; i want so desperately to join theatre or become good at art; but i spend so much
time doing sports that i have no time to do the stuff i actually want?

now i've royally messed up because i've told my coach that i don't really want to continue,
and of course she told my mom who basically yelled at me for embarrassing her. and i feel
really sorry about talking about it, but how else am i going to get things changed? just letting
it happen hasn't worked, and i've cried so much but they won't listen. they never do.

onto the next thing, my classes have really heated up on me. even classes i thought were
really easy are now piling up and it just sucks. i can't go to bed at night because i wake up
with a dry sweat wondering about my grades or how my teachers will react to my projects.
and now there's this really strange phenomenon that my brain thinks is cool? it basically forces
me to do dumb stuff or else i'll fail. like, i have to pick off all my nail polish otherwise- whoops-
i'll fail the test. i have to lock my car five times or else- whoops!- it's unlocked and i'll get robbed.
i have to bounce the ball five times or else- whoops!- i'll miss my shot, no matter what happens.
i hate that i have to do that, but now it's become engraved in my mind.

and dear lord. i've taken a break from my meds and everything sucks. literally everything.
i get so aggravated by my closest friends so easily that i sometimes can't even talk to them,
then the next moment i'm good? and i really wish my friends would notice somethings off with
me, or help me out sometimes, but they mostly never do? i help them out a lot but as soon as
i'm sad and making poor decisions they're not rushing to help validate me or make me feel better.

i don't know what i want to do anymore, but i'm just so unhappy with everything and
it really seems like sticking to the status quo isn't an option for me anymore.
i really, really wish that i could talk about my feelings to somebody irl, but
i'm just too shy and i never will.
i want change, but i'm too much of a coward to even try.

[vampz]

virtual school is lonely... i wish i were able to go to public school with all my friends.
i won't go into detail because the reason i can't get into that school is a whole nother dilemma itself.
basically, i'm not zoned for the school, and i can't get in unless a parent worked there or i moved.
anyways, i miss them all, and we still keep in touch- online and everything, just... they get busy
sometimes, too. i'm also worried about them forgetting about me at one point or another.
i'm grateful for another really close friend of mine- she's also a virtual student, but makes the effort
to check up on me almost daily, and i try to do the same when i can. and i'm grateful for her, i trust
her a lot and i don't think she would forget about me as easily. i'm more concerned about my other
friends, though. i love them as well, especially my s/o... i talked to him about this, too- he said he
wasn't going anywhere, but it was about two weeks ago and recently he's been a little harder to talk to

basically, because he goes to the school i can't get into we keep in touch on discord, and i'm always
up for talking to him on mic 'cause i love hearing his voice and we always have something to talk about.
lately, though, he hasn't been as active and i've actually had to call him myself rather than him choosing
to get on mic as usual. however, while inactive in responding to messages/invites, he's online all day and
i have the feeling he's playing with other friends. i absolutely don't mind, i know he's a big gamer and
that's cool and all, i just wish for the long periods of time he was online he would at least acknowledge
some of the messages or a quick hello. that's all.
i don't know, this is the first time he's done this and i'm not sure if it's permanent or not, i may just
be overreacting. sorry for the long message, any help is appreciated.

[theradiantfern]

Why is there almost always a single person lashing out at me? It tends to happen in a cycle, too; a new person every time. Every time I feel horrible in one way or another. I make it dramatic in my head. I have the constant urge to break into tears and withdraw from everything. Why am I so easily hurt? Why do people release their anger at me? Why do I have to cry every time? Why am I crying now...?

[demoiselle;]

i used to be skinny, and it was something i was proud about. my sister was prettier than me, more athletic than me, smarter than me. but it was ok. because i was skinnier. (only a little)
i didn't really watch what i ate and i didn't actively do anything to stay at the weight that i was. i started a sport, and it was fun.
until everyone started comparing me to my sister, until i started to dread practices because everyone was improving and i wasn't.
everyone was better. i would never be able to catch up. why even try when you can't be the best?
so i quit. my parents weren't happy. i wasn't happy. and so i ate, and ate.
a while later, i was laying on my bed in my shorts and my dad walked into my room. he made a comment about how my legs were thicker, and how i soon wouldn't be able to fit into those shorts. i knew inside that he just wanted me to rethink quitting the sport, but that's when it started. the calorie restricting, the exercising, the sudden realization that i had gotten fatter, that i was now worse than my sister in every way.
i lost weight at first, and it made me happy. but my sister was skinnier. and she didn't even have to try. why was i trying? and then i began to eat again.
and so began a constant cycle of eating, worrying about my weight, eating and worrying, eating and worrying. i laid in bed a lot, stayed in my room all day and ate salad for dinner. i put in my night retainers at 4 pm so i couldn't binge when it got dark. and then there were days i would eat when i wasn't hungry, i would eat until my jaw ached, until my stomach hurt. i hated it. my stomach hated it, and i'm sure my blood sugar did too.
now i've been trying to erase all this weight i gained in that dark period, and make things go back to how they used to be. a world where not every thought was about food and calories and weight and exercise. i got back into the sport, and i'm worse than when i quit. the same voice is asking me why i try when i can't be the best. i feel like quitting for the second time, but i don't want to go through all that again. even as of now, my eating habits are pretty not pretty. (haha)

school is stressing me out, and it has come to my attention that i have no real friends. only people i laugh with.
a part of me wants to blame my dad for starting this. but it's not his fault. it's mine.
any advice would be appreciated, and thank you to everyone who actually read this.

[Spearow]

I just need someone
I need help
I don't know what to do it feels like everything is about to come to a head

[deathbell]

Alright then. I guess no one cares. Time for me to stop trying. Thanks for nothing.