- can i pm someone, if they have the time to listen to me?
ghosting. wrote:i can hardly breathe.
i acted so out of line today.
i kept screaming at my friends.
we had a substitute in band, and i was so scared that the same thing would happen last time we had a sub.
it was chaos and two people broke down crying because it was so stressful.
so i tried to lead everyone and when we went into sectionals i got mad and starting at yelling at someone because they kept bothering me when i was trying to figure out why my flute wasnt working (it ended up breaking in the middle of class. never figured out what was wrong with it. still broken. doesnt play a low D and middle D sounds very airy and doesnt work after you play certain notes or during some songs. im scared it wont work by friday, were playing during a sports game and it means alot to me and i dont want to miss it.)
and my close friend seemed so upset and stressed and i feel like its all my fault. i feel so guilty.
my other friend almost cried because his brother was being a jerk to him these past two weeks.
im just-
its hard.
i know nobody is going to reply, i just needed to vent for a moment.

decembuary; wrote:just got out of my math class and i started crying in the middle of taking a test because i know i screwed up so bad. aahahaha end my life
curiously wrote:i'm so dissatisfied and bored with my relationship, and it makes me depressed. they only talk to me when they need comfort or need something from me. my messages are all unanswered and i get absolutely nothing out of it. i feel like i'm staying out of obligation because i'm the only person my partner is close with and their parents are not super nice people. i want to move on and see other people but i don't want to leave my current partner with nobody, so i just stay. i stay, sad and feeling honestly like i'm just being used as a therapist and not a partner. i've never been in a relationship before this and i don't know how to even go about trying to leave. so i guess i'll just continue quietly being unhappy.
ghostley wrote:I hate having depression and social anxiety. I absolutely cannot talk to anyone and when I do I stutter and get flustered and sometimes I’m almost brought to tears. But unfortunately, a lot of my classes involve large group work and I’ve told my teachers that I don’t like working in groups, but they basically tell me that I’ll ‘get used to it.’ My parents, once again, say it’s just a side effect of my medication. I don’t need any more stress on top of what I have, I already come home and take a shower so I can cry in the bathroom where no one can hear or see me wallowing in my self-pity. I really wish people could understand how serious social anxiety and depression are, but unfortunately nobody around here believes in that and I have no friends to confide in. Just perfect. <3


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