TheComfortCorner | V.7

[Sharkbite]

So, this must either sound extremely jealous, pathetic or both. Anyway, I really need to write this down because the last two days haven't been great and I'm stuck somewhere between being desperate and very sad.

So I've been friends with S since a year now and we get along pretty well. It's basically like we're twins or something, I've never met someone who has so much in common with me than S. Anyway, we met online and we have never seen each other in person, which is okay by me. As the months passed, I became more and more attached. I really enjoy talking to her and I think she doesn't hate me either since we text each other constantly.
Here's the downside. Two days ago I learned that S has given her phone number to Person B, who we both know. I also have S' number, so I don't want to complain about that. I know that she gets along with B better than I do, and she likes B. That's great. B is a nice person. But. My problem is that I have this crippling fear of being replaced. I'm so afraid of losing her that I've felt sick to my stomach for two days now and I'm unable to eat. The first night after I had heard that she gave her number to B, I slept for two hours and had a nightmare about being actually replaced. In my dream, everybody abandoned me. People did that to me in the past, I've stopped counting how many times I got pushed away by a friend because some better came into their lives, someone more interesting, someone they had more in common with. I'm happy for them, but it hurts so much.
When we join a group chat, S is always overly excited to see that B is there too. For over a year now I have never gotten a "good to see you" or anything like that. It's devastating. And I don't understand.
In July, I'll be on holiday on the other side of the globe and I most probably won't have any internet access. S said, she's gonna miss me. I don't know if she's just being polite. I'm scared that she will eventually replace me with B, since I won't be able to talk to S for three weeks. Even though we have never met personally, she's my closest friend because we get along so well and if she'd lose interest in me, well…I don't know what I will do.
The thought of being replaced prevents me from actually doing really important things. I can't concentrate on studying, I literally get nothing done because I reply to her messages as fast as I can and I spend my time searching for new things to talk about. I want to keep the conversation going, I literally want to bury her in texts so that she has to keep talking to me. Maybe it's selfish, I don't know.
Every night after telling me that she's going to bed, S stays online on WhatsApp for up to an hour. That has actually never been an issue, but since two days I think she does it because she rather talks to B and she wants to get rid of me. Of course I don't know if this is true, but my mind keeps telling me I'm extremely close to being pushed away again and the only way I can enjoy her company a little bit longer is to reply to her texts the minute I get them.
I'm not mad at B, I like B. We just don't talk that often. I don't know what to do, I just want to have S a little bit longer. I don't want to be replaced again, I don't want to feel worthless again. I feel so bad for feeling this way, I don't want to seem so clingy. I'm so frustrated right now and I feel completely helpless.

[maninkari]

I JUST ACCIDENTALLY PICKED UP A HANDFUL OF MAGGOTS AND IM GOING TO CRY.
I collect bones. I am a taxidermist. This shouldn't bother me.
It doesn't bother me out in nature but THIS WAS IN MY KITCHEN. NOOOO.

[your blanket]

I JUST ACCIDENTALLY PICKED UP A HANDFUL OF MAGGOTS AND IM GOING TO CRY.
I collect bones. I am a taxidermist. This shouldn't bother me.
It doesn't bother me out in nature but THIS WAS IN MY KITCHEN. NOOOO.

➥ aGH NO TINY EVIL STUBBY NOODLES !!!
Bugs are fine, if they're in my house, nooo, especially your kitchen ahh!
did you find the source of them? aka rotting food, food without a packet, dead animals or just anything edible in general.
you might wanna put a strong cleaner where you think they came from, and where they were, like a 'bacteria-cleaner' you know, the stuff you clean your kitchen with.

hope you feel a bit better,, ;m;

[cinnamonbun.]

I JUST ACCIDENTALLY PICKED UP A HANDFUL OF MAGGOTS AND IM GOING TO CRY.
I collect bones. I am a taxidermist. This shouldn't bother me.
It doesn't bother me out in nature but THIS WAS IN MY KITCHEN. NOOOO.

➥ aGH NO TINY EVIL STUBBY NOODLES !!!
Bugs are fine, if they're in my house, nooo, especially your kitchen ahh!
did you find the source of them? aka rotting food, food without a packet, dead animals or just anything edible in general.
you might wanna put a strong cleaner where you think they came from, and where they were, like a 'bacteria-cleaner' you know, the stuff you clean your kitchen with.

hope you feel a bit better,, ;m;

AAAAAAAAA I'm so sorry that would freak me the heck out oh my gosh! Badger is right, you should eliminate the source and eventually all the maggots. On the bright side, you know they are there so you can deal with them instead of them there without you knowing! Hope you feel better :,)

[spooks.]

just got part of my root canal done.
(i was bleeding so much they're making me wait until the 8th to get it finished.)

my mouth is still numb, and so is my tongue. but i can feel small little pricks of pain coming.
i know that once this numbing wears off, it's gonna hurt like freaking heck.

also, i'm so freaking hungry. but i caNT FEEL MY FreAkInG mOUTh.
advice on dealing with root canal pain?

[trans]

dont reply pls



i tell myself not to look at that blog but i cant bc i know people are talking about me there i know it whenever i get told im mentioned on there i Have to know what it said but whenever i see my name i feel even worse and seeing my name so much lately is making me paranoid that everyone is waiting for me to make a giant mistake and i dont know what to do i dont know how to fix it

[arabella !!]

I JUST ACCIDENTALLY PICKED UP A HANDFUL OF MAGGOTS AND IM GOING TO CRY.
I collect bones. I am a taxidermist. This shouldn't bother me.
It doesn't bother me out in nature but THIS WAS IN MY KITCHEN. NOOOO.

Ahh, rip! I hope they are all gone now. ):

[ginger-snaps]

just got part of my root canal done.
(i was bleeding so much they're making me wait until the 8th to get it finished.)

my mouth is still numb, and so is my tongue. but i can feel small little pricks of pain coming.
i know that once this numbing wears off, it's gonna hurt like freaking heck.

also, i'm so freaking hungry. but i caNT FEEL MY FreAkInG mOUTh.
advice on dealing with root canal pain?

i had to get a root canal a while back, but from what i can remember, just start by drinking some water and seeing if that brings on any pain or not. unfortunately, eating will be painful for a little while, so just wait a couple hours before trying to eat anything. your mouth will probably feel a bit sore when the numbing wears off, but it's nothing that can't be handled - when you eat, try your best to eat on the other, unaffected side of your mouth. it's gonna be annoying, but luckily the major part of the pain and discomfort should go away before long :)
best of luck ~

[.Ranger.]

I graduated yesterday. I should be happy, but I'm not. I wish I was happy about it. I have no friends to tell "hey I'm graduated." I have no friends. I have no friends to yell with and cheer with. Heck, I don't have any anyways. I had a lot before I moved four years ago. None of them talk to me anymore and I guess I have no one now. I have no one to hold my hand even if it's mentally when I have surgery. No one to hang out with or even skype with. Is that too much to ask? It seems like it... I have gotten better at making friends then what I used to be, but I still have no friends. I don't know how to make friends anymore. I have none online I'm close to and I'm just... it puts me in a state where I just sit there and wonder what and why. What's wrong with me...

That's all.

[Pyjaks]

I graduated yesterday. I should be happy, but I'm not. I wish I was happy about it. I have no friends to tell "hey I'm graduated." I have no friends. I have no friends to yell with and cheer with. Heck, I don't have any anyways. I had a lot before I moved four years ago. None of them talk to me anymore and I guess I have no one now. :lol: I have no one to hold my hand even if it's mentally when I have surgery. No one to hang out with or even skype with. Is that too much to ask? It seems like it... I have gotten better at making friends then what I used to be, but I still have no friends. I don't know how to make friends anymore. I have none online I'm close to and I'm just... it puts me in a state where I just sit there and wonder what and why. What's wrong with me...

That's all.

I'm really sorry you're going through this :( it can be so tough to be lonely. Maybe you could try and think of graduation as a "new beginning" to making friends? If you're pursuing a secondary education, could you join some clubs or activities hosted by the school? Or even just clubs in general- they're great ways to meet people with common interests. Museums, libraries, etc all regularly host meetups and such, it might be a good starting place.
I do wanna say though, there's nothing wrong with you at all. Struggling with having friends doesn't make you a bad person. You sound like a really great person and I know you can get through this <3