I felt really uncomfortable and I don't even know how to explain why.
I've felt off all day, really, but I felt alone and like I wanted to be with people. So when my roommate (who's also a friend) and another friend came over, they invited me to go with them to another friend's house. At first I said no, but then I thought it might have been good for me to get out with a friend I hadn't seen in a while.
I was wrong, I guess.
The whole while we were there, I didn't feel like I wanted to be there. I ended up just reading a book in a chair, watching them play their game. As the night grew on, I grew more and more uncomfortable and I really can't even begin to wonder why. I think maybe I just felt really isolated from these people, because they were doing some things that I didn't like. And while they didn't pressure me or anything, I felt very alone at that moment, even though I was with a bunch of good friends.
I just am tired of feeling so alone in this place filled with so many people.
One of them, when we dropped her off in front of her house, noted that I seemed very uncomfortable, and I replied very quietly "a little bit." I held up my fingers in a 'little bit' gesture. They all heard me (the three that were in the car), and my roommate said "why?" I didn't know. I still don't know. I just replied with "I just felt uncomfortable" and she muttered something under her breath so that was that. The other person just got out and left, and the driver said nothing. He still said nothing the whole way back, only asked if I wanted to go shopping tomorrow, to text him if I did.
I just... I want someone here at the stupid place to care. Not act like they care, like my roommate does, because she'll ask what's wrong and I'll get a couple words in and she stops caring and tunes out. Then she'll go on all day about 'how she felt about this, what happened at that, how was your class? oh that's nice I did this though that's so much worse.' I just grow tired of it all and I really need a friend.
Sorry, long rant... I'd be surprised if anyone read all of it, if you do you're awesome and thanks for reading into the weirdness of my mind. One day I'll get my life together...
I've felt off all day, really, but I felt alone and like I wanted to be with people. So when my roommate (who's also a friend) and another friend came over, they invited me to go with them to another friend's house. At first I said no, but then I thought it might have been good for me to get out with a friend I hadn't seen in a while.
I was wrong, I guess.
The whole while we were there, I didn't feel like I wanted to be there. I ended up just reading a book in a chair, watching them play their game. As the night grew on, I grew more and more uncomfortable and I really can't even begin to wonder why. I think maybe I just felt really isolated from these people, because they were doing some things that I didn't like. And while they didn't pressure me or anything, I felt very alone at that moment, even though I was with a bunch of good friends.
I just am tired of feeling so alone in this place filled with so many people.
One of them, when we dropped her off in front of her house, noted that I seemed very uncomfortable, and I replied very quietly "a little bit." I held up my fingers in a 'little bit' gesture. They all heard me (the three that were in the car), and my roommate said "why?" I didn't know. I still don't know. I just replied with "I just felt uncomfortable" and she muttered something under her breath so that was that. The other person just got out and left, and the driver said nothing. He still said nothing the whole way back, only asked if I wanted to go shopping tomorrow, to text him if I did.
I just... I want someone here at the stupid place to care. Not act like they care, like my roommate does, because she'll ask what's wrong and I'll get a couple words in and she stops caring and tunes out. Then she'll go on all day about 'how she felt about this, what happened at that, how was your class? oh that's nice I did this though that's so much worse.' I just grow tired of it all and I really need a friend.
Sorry, long rant... I'd be surprised if anyone read all of it, if you do you're awesome and thanks for reading into the weirdness of my mind. One day I'll get my life together...
