TheComfortCorner | v.6

[autumnsoundtrack]

There's this coworker of mine who has a thing for me, and it seems borderline stalker-ish. We barely ever spoke to each other, and then just the other day he asked me on a date. I said yes out of anxiety, then I cancelled because I knew I didn't actually want to go. And now he's talking about flying out to see me while I'm at college - and not just to me, he told this to a coworker of mine too. I barely know the guy. Not even my friends are flying out to see me. This seems so creepy and weird.

If this is his idea of romantic, then it's just coming on way too strong to me. My anxiety is flaring up and I'm so scared to even step foot in my work today to pick up a pizza I ordered. He just seems overly obsessive and I'm legit scared.

[SilentMelody]

I'm so depressed.
I'm so confused about my sexuality. it hurts my head just to think about it, and it stresses me out so much. no one around me understands how I feel, so I have no one to talk to.
sometimes I feel like I might be lesbian and like girls, but there's another part of me that says I'm straight and like guys. there's also this part that tells me I'm bisexual and like both. there's also the chance that I'm queer, which is just a whole different story.
I don't even know anymore..ugh. people tell me I have my whole life to think about it, but what if I'm middle aged or old when I finally figure it out? I won't find love then, and I don't understand how to find it now.

People are right, you do have your whole life to think about it, I understand this very well,
I switch a lot on what I like as well and that is nothing to be worried about.
I bet that once you meet the right person it will just feel good, no matter what gender they are
Those are just labels and labels don't define persons in my opinion, thats how I learnt to be at peace with the fact that I change my mind often, just follow your heart and it will lead you to the right person and don't be afraid to make mistakes inbetween,
because mistakes are just part of the journey and you will definitely learn from those.
Hope I managed to somehow calm your mind a bit dear,
stay strong and try not to worry to much <3

thank you so much, sweetheart <3
this made me feel so much better about myself and how I am, so I really, truly appreciate that.
I've found it hard to fall in love lately, but maybe it's just because I haven't found someone to accept me and love me for who I am instead of who they want me to be.

[saint]

holding back tears until tonight.
i cried in front of my best friend.
im just so unwanted.
no one likes me.

my family hates me for going to support.
not my fault my dad swears and shouts at me all the time.
not my fault he pushed me twice.

is this even allowed in cs?

well ive given up.
lost all hope.

haha ben paul was right.
this is all my fault.

[Thalassic]

There's this coworker of mine who has a thing for me, and it seems borderline stalker-ish. We barely ever spoke to each other, and then just the other day he asked me on a date. I said yes out of anxiety, then I cancelled because I knew I didn't actually want to go. And now he's talking about flying out to see me while I'm at college - and not just to me, he told this to a coworker of mine too. I barely know the guy. Not even my friends are flying out to see me. This seems so creepy and weird.

If this is his idea of romantic, then it's just coming on way too strong to me. My anxiety is flaring up and I'm so scared to even step foot in my work today to pick up a pizza I ordered. He just seems overly obsessive and I'm legit scared.

Do you have his number? You could try texting him to tell him that flying over to see you is a bit too much for you, and that you're not really interested in a relationship with him. I know that can be a scary thing to do, but writing it out instead of saying it to his face would be much easier. And letting him know exactly how you feel will help avoid some awkward moments happening in the future. It's always best to be on the same page, even if the reality is not what both people want.

[Shire98]

Im finding it harder and harder to dig out of this dark hole.. I can't seem to find any reason to keep trying, I feel like if any things I'm just getting deeper in this darkness.. I don't know where to turn anymore, or how to even find a way out.
Yeah, I should be over the reasons why I got in this hole, but it's harder said then done.. And it's so hard to even talk about, so most of my friends who say just get over it, have no clue what it is I 'need to get over'
*sighs*
I don't know anymore..

[spooks.]

can i get a pm,please?
thank you.

[still]

I'd like a hug and a virtual cookie, please.

Honestly, some days I have such terrible anxiety that I can barely talk to people because I think they'll hate me if I open my mouth. And of course, it doesn't help that my friends make me feel like trash because- even if they don't notice- they're the ones who ignore me when I need help and constantly tear me down. I just feel so exhausted by everything nowadays, and, though I really, really want to believe it'll get better, somehow I doubt that.

Sorry about the rant.

[minyards]

So... I tried really hard. I got all the proper supplies, expensive paper, nice pencils, pens, and a few sets of paints just to see which would be best. I made the sketch, and inked it, and then I painted it.

I.. messed up. Not just like oh whoops I slipped and this color got on the wrong part. More like every shade is wrong and I chose a crappy ink that leaks even when dried. I thought to myself, It's okay. I tried. But it looks horrible.

I'm only complaining. I can try again with different supplies. I'm just really disappointed,

[leverage]

Sometimes I wonder if I even know what it's like to feel happy anymore.
There's a pain in my chest, the pain of everything breaking. Sometimes, while working, it goes away...but as soon as I don't have something to keep my busy, it's back, worse than ever. It's choking me. I'm just...broken.
I keep trying to not be alone. I keep trying to be happy. It's not working.
I know, I know, just keep trying; eventually it'll get better.
But...what if it doesn't? Not everyone can be happy, not everyone can fit in.
My anxiety is eating me alive, and all I want is to be far away from here.
I want to get better. I want things to get better. It's just...they're not.

At least my family is coming to visit soon. But...they'll be here for less that 48 hours. And then gone, again. For weeks.
I hate being apart from them like this.
I hate being here.

I'm not happy. I'm not comfortable. I hate it here.
I want to get out of it so, so bad...but if I do, it means I failed.
I can't fail.

I'm stuck. I'm numb.
All I want is to be happy again.

[✦ nemuri]

Well... I'm back, The Comfort Corner.

I wish they understood why I'm so sensitive now. Yeah yeah, I get mildly upset because someone cracks an inappropriate joke involving me. That's alright, I just tell them to stop. But you... You have no right whaTSOEVER TO TELL ME TO CHILL. TO CALM DOWN. TO LAUGH IT OFF. I'm not like you guys. I am not smooth. I get flustered very easily and once my anxiety flares up its impossible for me to stop stuttering. How the hell am i supposed to cone up with a smart remark like that?

I hate it when we're talking or playing "would you rather" and then you suddenly say how it would be fun killing me. I get it, I rub dirt on myself, too. I call myself things like trash and garbage. But to hear it in real life hurts a lot. Its a nickname, not something I want to hear when you're reprimanding me. It... It hurts, alright?! Joking about killing each other is almost like a trigger now... I avoid it altogether and i just shut down when you mention it. Shut up, please.

Stop forcing me to speak my thoughts. Why should you if you don't even care about them, or call me a liar? Stop calling me a liar just because something doesn't match in your memory. Have I ever done that to you? No! What makes you think you can boss me around, wind me around your little just because you're two months younger? I wouldn't expect you to understand having social anxiety, feeling like crap all the time and crying at every single little petty thing. And... You laugh afterwards. You made me crack, spill out my secrets. And you laugh.

I thought I could trust you. You were the closest IRL friend I had after my best friend and i fell apart.

I suppose I was wrong.

I don't know.

But then again, what do I know? I'm just an ignorant, stupid fool, right?




I say all these things, but yet I never have the courage to speak up or stand up for myself because I'm weak and I avoid conflict, even if it means killing me on the inside. How pathetic.