TheComfortCorner | v.6

[נוריאל]

I'm so lonely. People say they'll be there for me to communicate and then they just.... stop replying.

I can talk to you if you want, but I don't have long on CS. I love it when people want to talk with me:) I'm here if you want to rant, flirt a little, laugh, or if you need a shoulder I'm here.

I'd appreciate it if you wanted to message me ^^

[- ; bonk!]

I'm pretty much being guilt tripped by both sides of the family because everyone thinks I don't want to be around them. that's not the case. I'm just busy and I have goals I need to work toward. I have commissions I do because it's my only way to cover the cost of my passion (OCs) and it takes some of my time away. and on top of that I have language classes since I'm learning German, so I spend a decent amount of time studying for tests and such especially through the summer. and I've got personal projects to work on - I have 696 reference sheets and character concepts I need to finish for a game-like project I'm working on and I want to get the designs done by September 2017 at the absolute latest so I can move on to the rest of the project i.e. more finalized writing, mechanics, etc. then there's also needing to go out for ~1 hr walks every day because I'm working on weight loss, and finally I'm trying to spend some time alone so I can work on sorting out my issues and crappy self esteem. AND I really need to find a job this summer so I have enough money to get the stuff I need for school and studies (which is quite hard in a town with an economy that's been in the crapper for almost a decade and keeps sinking, especially for someone in middle school.) so I have pretty busy days this summer. I love my families, but they refuse to accept I have my own life and things I need to get done and I can't just drop all of that to hang out or go somewhere with them.
I hate being guilt tripped more than anything in the world and so both families are exploiting that weakness by crying and making comments like "if only my daughter wanted to come," and "what am I doing wrong," and "why do you hate me," and "this is my fault I failed as a parent," and "all my friends have kids that love them."
I'm stressed out enough as is. I really can't handle any sort of relationship drama on top of it all. it's really starting to get to me and now I'm torn between doing the things that make me happy and sacrificing my work/happiness so my family will stop. I lose someway in either situation.

[joji]

i just want to be pretty
but i cant because i ruined my own body
i hate myself
nobody thinks its a serious problem

[alleyway]

so you what message me saying you miss me for the THIRD TIME don't you maybe get that I don't care? you'll stop talking to me and when you do after this week I am giving you I AM DONE. You clearly forgot who I am because if I say goodnight do I mean it? you messaged me yesterday and NEVER ANSWERED. You message me again today for you to what STOP MESSAGING ME.

[Kabloosh]

I kind of have a "lovely rainbow concoction" of mental issues, but this one in particular is making me feel kind of worthless. I'm fed, clothed, sheltered, reasonably healthy, and getting close to the point in life where I need to take responsibility for myself and start contributing something of value to the world, but this mental battle is sapping so much of my will that I don't have the energy for much of anything anymore.

I have an unusual phobia of something that's not family-friendly but is very very pervasive in the culture of my country. This is bad enough on its own (I have to excuse myself from a lot of rooms), but there's a malevolent figment of my imagination who makes things worse (I just call him "the bad guy" or "Salmonade"). He constantly shows up uninvited and shoves the thing causing the fear in my face, which instantly makes me go into either angry-rage-freakout mode or curl-up-in-a-ball-and-mope mode. I've tried medication, I've tried ignoring him and focusing on something else, I've tried being nice to him, I've tried outwitting him, I've tried ejecting him from my mind, I've tried turning him into a little girl and then putting him through exactly what he just put me through, and I've tried using cartoonishly large mental anvils to squash him. I've gotten better at fending him off over the years, but he's grown more persistent at the same rate. I can hold him off temporarily, but he just keeps coming back- he won't go away for more than an hour or two no matter what I do.

Whenever I tell my family about the phobia and the bad guy, nobody takes it seriously because they think I'm over-dramatizing a minor issue. (Mostly because of the fact the bad guy usually shows up in the form of a cartoon character that traumatized me when I was little.) To be fair, my family has a lot of stress to deal with already- so Mom let me talk it out in therapy, but the lady I talk to is confused as to why I would have the phobia in the first place.

These days, if I'm not thoroughly engrossed in a book or video game, then my thoughts eventually end up involuntarily turning back to the fear (and thus to the bad guy). If I'm not fully focused on Pokemon or a school project or a song, I'm almost always stuck on a downward spiral of anger and self-loathing. This makes going to sleep a problem. I have to listen to an audiobook or something to drown out the bad thoughts, but if it's just a little too quiet or if my thoughts drift a little bit away, BAM bad guy attack. I'm typing this right now after 45 minutes of lying in my bed trying to keep Salmonade at bay. Lack of sleep is making what little willpower I had crawl into a deep dark mildewy hole where I can't reach it.

There's an operation I might be able to afford in five years or so if I'm lucky, and that will almost definitely alleviate some of the fear for good. Until then, I'm worried I might not be able to contribute something useful or creative to society- or worse, I might break down in front of the wrong person and end up in a place I don't want to be.

Sorry for the long-windedness- just kind of needed to type this out and get it off my mind for a while. If anyone's having a similar issue (phobias, malevolent mind imps, etc.), I'd love to talk with you about it, if you're willing to chat.

[Lexi<3]

I hate myself. I've already given up on myself.. I just cant do this anymore

I feel like a complete failure. Everything i do is wrong.

I am going to give up. Either tonight, or sometime this week.

I'm sorry

[Boxie]

Why am I crying?

I was just fine a couple of minutes ago and now I have tears pouring out from eyes.

I don't understand.

[critter]

im scared

my vision is weird

i have glasses but its blurry... and hazy

i keep blinking, trying to make it go away and nothing is working


and for about a month i keep hearing ringing in my ears, its just freaking me out

edit: its getting worse and my glasses arent helping

Waiting on this isn't good, sorry I didn't reply earlier.
Please got a walk in clinic asap.

I'm pretty much being guilt tripped by both sides of the family because everyone thinks I don't want to be around them. that's not the case. I'm just busy and I have goals I need to work toward. I have commissions I do because it's my only way to cover the cost of my passion (OCs) and it takes some of my time away. and on top of that I have language classes since I'm learning German, so I spend a decent amount of time studying for tests and such especially through the summer. and I've got personal projects to work on - I have 696 reference sheets and character concepts I need to finish for a game-like project I'm working on and I want to get the designs done by September 2017 at the absolute latest so I can move on to the rest of the project i.e. more finalized writing, mechanics, etc. then there's also needing to go out for ~1 hr walks every day because I'm working on weight loss, and finally I'm trying to spend some time alone so I can work on sorting out my issues and crappy self esteem. AND I really need to find a job this summer so I have enough money to get the stuff I need for school and studies (which is quite hard in a town with an economy that's been in the crapper for almost a decade and keeps sinking, especially for someone in middle school.) so I have pretty busy days this summer. I love my families, but they refuse to accept I have my own life and things I need to get done and I can't just drop all of that to hang out or go somewhere with them.
I hate being guilt tripped more than anything in the world and so both families are exploiting that weakness by crying and making comments like "if only my daughter wanted to come," and "what am I doing wrong," and "why do you hate me," and "this is my fault I failed as a parent," and "all my friends have kids that love them."
I'm stressed out enough as is. I really can't handle any sort of relationship drama on top of it all. it's really starting to get to me and now I'm torn between doing the things that make me happy and sacrificing my work/happiness so my family will stop. I lose someway in either situation.

Write a list and plaster them EVERYWHERE. It will get the message across.
(Hint* Do NOT put the everywhere, but like in the fridge{not explaining}, anywhere they'd look)
Or even just talk to them? If they still don't get it, drill it, don't stop there, continue explaining.
Don't stop until your point is across.

[critter]

i just want to be pretty
but i cant because i ruined my own body
i hate myself
nobody thinks its a serious problem

I need to tell you this and everyone in your shoes.

Nothing is permanent.
Good or bad, anything goes.

And, being 'pretty' only means your fake pretty.
That means POUNDS of make-up, expensive things that will get ruined in a week, Its just not the pretty you need.
Here is the steps to actually be pretty:
-Go to the mirror
-hug yourself
-tell yourself you one in 4 billion
But, some self care tips are:
-Wash your face with face soap
-walk more
-and have light meals all around the day, like small small bowls of noodles, ect. every 3-5 hours.

so you what message me saying you miss me for the THIRD TIME don't you maybe get that I don't care? you'll stop talking to me and when you do after this week I am giving you I AM DONE. You clearly forgot who I am because if I say goodnight do I mean it? you messaged me yesterday and NEVER ANSWERED. You message me again today for you to what STOP MESSAGING ME.

Try blocking them? Or maybe even tell them you don't care?

I kind of have a "lovely rainbow concoction" of mental issues, but this one in particular is making me feel kind of worthless. I'm fed, clothed, sheltered, reasonably healthy, and getting close to the point in life where I need to take responsibility for myself and start contributing something of value to the world, but this mental battle is sapping so much of my will that I don't have the energy for much of anything anymore.

I have an unusual phobia of something that's not family-friendly but is very very pervasive in the culture of my country. This is bad enough on its own (I have to excuse myself from a lot of rooms), but there's a malevolent figment of my imagination who makes things worse (I just call him "the bad guy" or "Salmonade"). He constantly shows up uninvited and shoves the thing causing the fear in my face, which instantly makes me go into either angry-rage-freakout mode or curl-up-in-a-ball-and-mope mode. I've tried medication, I've tried ignoring him and focusing on something else, I've tried being nice to him, I've tried outwitting him, I've tried ejecting him from my mind, I've tried turning him into a little girl and then putting him through exactly what he just put me through, and I've tried using cartoonishly large mental anvils to squash him. I've gotten better at fending him off over the years, but he's grown more persistent at the same rate. I can hold him off temporarily, but he just keeps coming back- he won't go away for more than an hour or two no matter what I do.

Whenever I tell my family about the phobia and the bad guy, nobody takes it seriously because they think I'm over-dramatizing a minor issue. (Mostly because of the fact the bad guy usually shows up in the form of a cartoon character that traumatized me when I was little.) To be fair, my family has a lot of stress to deal with already- so Mom let me talk it out in therapy, but the lady I talk to is confused as to why I would have the phobia in the first place.

These days, if I'm not thoroughly engrossed in a book or video game, then my thoughts eventually end up involuntarily turning back to the fear (and thus to the bad guy). If I'm not fully focused on Pokemon or a school project or a song, I'm almost always stuck on a downward spiral of anger and self-loathing. This makes going to sleep a problem. I have to listen to an audiobook or something to drown out the bad thoughts, but if it's just a little too quiet or if my thoughts drift a little bit away, BAM bad guy attack. I'm typing this right now after 45 minutes of lying in my bed trying to keep Salmonade at bay. Lack of sleep is making what little willpower I had crawl into a deep dark mildewy hole where I can't reach it.

There's an operation I might be able to afford in five years or so if I'm lucky, and that will almost definitely alleviate some of the fear for good. Until then, I'm worried I might not be able to contribute something useful or creative to society- or worse, I might break down in front of the wrong person and end up in a place I don't want to be.

Sorry for the long-windedness- just kind of needed to type this out and get it off my mind for a while. If anyone's having a similar issue (phobias, malevolent mind imps, etc.), I'd love to talk with you about it, if you're willing to chat.

Best thing to do is to ignore him and sort this out yourself, I am sorry I can help you on this one.
But this is something you need to do yourself.
I know its gonna be hard, but what you need to do is just think, think about how he makes you feel, if you break down infront of someone, tell them when you feel it happening.
Or maybe lock yourself away in a bathroom, or even go for a walk.

I hate myself. I've already given up on myself.. I just cant do this anymore

I feel like a complete failure. Everything i do is wrong.

I am going to give up. Either tonight, or sometime this week.

I'm sorry

You are NOT! You are not going to end up like me, with uniform scars and permanent tears sewn to my face.
You are not doing anything wrong
Please please, don't do anything I would do, I was always pushed away and accepted it, I broke down time and time again.
But what your not gonna do is end up like me.
you are going to be strong, you are going to talk to me, you are going to talk to people who can help you.
and you most definitely going to accept yourself.
Whatever is doing this to you, whomever, needs to stop.
You need to stop listening, you need to start leaving them.
Please, on the last fiber of my being, I pray you won't do anything harsh and you will stay alive.
Please, if you wont do it for them...
Do it for me? I don't wanna watch yet another life go to waste, It seem I never get there in time to stop these thoughts.
Please... Were are all human here...
Please? Do it for me? Get help? Talk to me?

[critter]

Why am I crying?

I was just fine a couple of minutes ago and now I have tears pouring out from eyes.

I don't understand.

I never understand either.
I can tell from experience that these are bottled in emotion, bottled pain, and things of guilt, self-hate, hate, and many other factors drilling into your mind.
Let them out, you will feel so much better.
Also, this give you an excuse to watch cute and funy fails from animals to kids.