JabberWacky wrote:What has today even been?
I go to my local park with my boyfriend, and we get bullied, harassed, and had things thrown at us. :L
I wanted to have a nice evening with my love, and instead we both get called names, and a kid walked up to me and threw a ping pong ball at my face. When he did this, I got up and was about to defend myself but my boyfriend just held me back.
Keep in mind, I have issues controlling my anger, so naturally I was flipping out.
These kids, are literally the worst.
Kid A is twofaced, and will act like your friend but turn on you once other people are there, Kid B caused me to leave church because they kept harassing me there, and Kid C nearly killed me a handful of summers ago, and treats it like a joke when it really isn't.
And then I snapped.
They left after saying stuff to me, and then I didn't feel anything other than numbness.
So, I got up.
Boyfriend asked me what I was doing, so I said "just giving some payback, that's all."
These kids had a ramp they built out of some bricks and wood planks, so I took a big wood plank, and threw it over the hillside. Next thing I know my boyfriend picks up the other large wood plank and throws it too.
Kid A comes back outside and starts yelling at us. Kid B is threatening me with "oh my grandpa is friends with the sheriff lol," and I have no clue where Kid C went.
Like dude, if you're gonna harass me for an hour and not expect retaliation from me, then you're horribly mistaken, "friend."
During my little rage fit though, I had no idea what I was doing. The only thought I had in my mind was to do as much damage as I could for revenge.
Then when I started walking home with boyfriend, I completely broke down.
I was crying so hard in my yard with him leaning on me for about 15 minutes, trying to comprehend what had really just happened.
And what's better? This isn't the first time this has happened. Something similar happened a couple months ago, and I too snapped with that.
I really need a way to control my anger. Breaking and sharpening sticks is starting to work less and less.
(also unsure if having crap thrown at us counts as the physical infliction being brought up in the rules so if it counts let me know and I'll edit that part out thanks)
Wow, all those kids seem really mean. I also have some serious anger issues and have
almost slapped a guy before. He took it to the principal because I was "bullying him" but once I told the principal what he said he said I had a right to slap the guy. ouo
Anwho for me when I really get mad and want to serisouly get revenge but know I shouldn't, as it would probably have greater consequences than feats, I punch my pillow, scream out loud (usually when I'm home alone b/c otherwise fam members come running wondering whats wrong), or listen to music that has lyrics that are the opposite of how I feel, helping me to calm down.
Sometimes I will draw out how I feel. Paper will always be your best friend, as it shares no secrets you tell it. I just went philosophical their ha! But you dont have to be an artist to draw put your feelings. Even if you dont want to draw, write it out instead, perhaps that will help get those angry mangry juices (...?) out of your system.
I hope this helped.
As for me I try to keep my head high but in the midst of the chaos of everything going on right now (gma having cancer, backstabbers for friends, liars for friends, etc) I seriously cannot. I read somewhere that pessimistic people look to the ground/down a lot walking, sitting w/e. I notice I've been looking down a LOT but I dont want to consider myself pessimistic.... I really don't know what to believe anymore :T
