by Silkala » Fri May 20, 2016 1:56 pm
My family... Isn't the best. And I'm not exaggerating. Not like those kids who say "Oh mah GAWD my mother didn't let me go to this concert with my boyfriend so now I call her Hitler." (This quote belongs to M.F in my class.) no, I'm talking about something else.
Let's start with my Mother.
So, she's angry. A lot. She always has a reason for you to do something. She always complains about having to do housework, but when someone offers to do it instead she just says something about us messing it up anyway. She will make rude comments about family members when they are away, or even if they are in the other room. She will pick fights with my dad for fun, even if she ends up crying. She will rant and rant about things that happened years ago. She overall is just annoying. I think she should put herself in our shoes for once.
Next, my Dad.
He... Doesn't take care of himself. He drinks a lot, and hates himself. He makes racist or sexist 'jokes', or call things gay as an insult, ignoring the fact that I'm bi. He comes home scared of my mom, if he comes home at all. He finishes work at 5. Why is he coming home at 12? He loves me, I know that. One of the many things he was yelled at about was treating me better than my sister, who we will talk about later. He takes me places rather than hanging out at home, just because we might be the most sane people in this house, even if he isn't the best. I'm trying to convince him his jokes aren't always funny, but it's a slow process. I hope he holds on enough for us to get there.
And finally, my Sister.
She is annoying. She constantly makes random noises, such as screeching all the time, and is just a general annoyance. She tells everyone to clean up after themselves, or to do this or that for her, when she barely does any of it herself. She is the definition of a spoiled brat. And I went along with it. Being the older sibling, I naturally was very protective of her. She learnt I would never get mad at her, so she bullies me. She calls me fat, lazy, stupid, obsessed, or any other things. As a regular greeting she says I need to take a shower. In the morning, I'll say "oh, morning." Like usual, but she always responds with "what do you want? Can you make breakfast today?" I'm very passive. I don't like fighting, and I won't do it now. I just want her to stop. She thinks everything is a joke, and everyone in my family has given up trying to change her.
And now, my least favourite...
Me.
I'm very lazy. I don't care about myself because I know no one will miss me if I'm gone. I hate myself and everyone around me. I want to leave this stupid place, I just want to be gone. And everyone around me is too self centered to see it! The only person who ever listened to me is my grandma, who my mother just openly insulted in front of me. I ran off to my room to write this. I want to leave. I have anxiety, insomnia and depression. No mom, I don't need to go out more. No Dad, I don't want to run away with you. No Sister, I don't want to just forget about it.
i just want to die.
Ford and Stan are my sons.
