okay, WHERE to start
my school's mascot is the falcon so every year we have a beauty pageant
for boys of the senior class (i'll seriously be forever salty that i wasn't one
of the candidates but i went to be a good sport) called mr. falcon and
here were some of the talents:
──── my friend aaron sang "crying lightning" by the arctic monkeys while wearing
clout goggles and was literally the smoothest person ever to walk the planet tbh
──── my friend seth sang "bloom" by the paper kites and played guitar perfectly--
it literally made me cry because i'd heard him play it but never sing it and his voice
was so beautiful + he had such horrible anxiety and stage fright but overcame it and
it was sweet because a lot of people were crying and really loved it which was great
because he's been bullied and mistreated a lot in the past and now he's a heartthrob
──── a boy in full napoleon dynamite get-up (wig, vote for pedro shirt, tight jeans,
puffy boots) did a perfect reenactment of the dance scene completed by awkward exit
──── toy trumpet cover of darude's sandstorm (while in full boy scout uniform)
──── a boy in an actual mariachi band sang sabrás que te quiero very well (with outfit)
──── four ripped football players wore pink short-shorts with crop tops and danced
to "single ladies" by beyonce, with uh... lots and lots of butt and hip action lmao
──── a dramatic reading of green eggs and ham, complete with chimes and snapping
as well as a wingman who just stood there and nodded solemnly at the lines
that's all i can remember for right now but i'm very very gay thank you