spring. wrote:
so, yea i'm casually having an anxiety attack. asked a close friend to call me to help talk me down. that was an hour ago. anxiety got worse. it's gone for now, but it'll keep me up. I talked to him two nights ago, and he and i talked each other down. now, when i need him most, he doesn't answer despite saying he'd be here for me. i texted another friend of mine asking to talk me down. they didn't respond either.
i'm sorry, i didn't know you were allowed to pick when you cared? I've been having anxiety through the roof for the past three hours. all i ask is a phone call. i can't get that? i know he's up looking at his phone. i'm on the verge of tears because this attack is so long. it won't just go away. it dies down but then it just flares back up again and everyone i care about is across the country and i just can't deal with it.
i need someone. someone physical to hold onto when i get anxiety. sometimes a voice helps but i need that physical contact. i'm in a strange place, and i don't feel comfortable crying yet, otherwise i'd do that. it's all... it's too much.
I understand and im sorry that he's treating you this way as you deserve far better treatment however try not to give up as no one would ever want to see you like this and he might be unable to reply despite looking at his phone as perhaps something might be keeping him busy however try not to worry about him too much as it might make you feel worse and he will reply eventually so try to keep going i know its difficult for you right now however you don't have to go through this alone and you could always pm me if you might like someone to talk to however try not to think about him im sure he still cares about you and loves you and he is still by your side and he still cares for you i know this might seem hard to believe at the moment but he does and he wouldn't ever want to see you like this and all of those times he looked after you before is because he loves and cares about you and nothing can ever change that fact and if you feel like you might cry it's alright as it might make you feel better to let it all out however maybe listen to some calm relaxing music and perhaps take a moment to yourself and maybe if you can open a window to let some fresh air in as it might make you feel a little better and more refreshed im sorry that your going through all this as you deserve to be happy unconditionally however your a wonderful and fantastic person and i know its difficult for you right now however it wont always be this way as long as you keep going and keep fighting as you can beat this and you can get past this and no matter what happens try to remember that you are and always will be loved and nothing can ever change that your a brilliant person and im sure that they will realize how lucky they are to have such a fantastic person as their friend and i hope this helps you a little maybe have a hot drink if you like them as it might help you relax a little and it sounds typical but take deep breaths as it might help you calm down a little ;-;
