Marcymite wrote:ok so this isn't really about me but pshshhhh
so i am a tomboy.. already said on this thread,
but yeah, i am a tomboy. i make friends with
boys and they take it the wrong way. i sometimes
try to make friends with boys and they think i am
trying to date them, and they take it the wrong
way.
i don't really mind them asking me out, because i
am always going to reject. it's just the rejection.
they get really sad and our relationship, our friend
ship becomes really awkward! :c >,< i just don't know
what to do. i say no and yati my reasons and such.
our friendship is never the same. im scared as i cant
make friends with girls, i wont have any friends when
i move school.
wastedspace wrote:One of my now-best friends didn't have many girls as friends in HS. I've known quite a few people who tell me they've always been wary of being friends with girls because "they're catty and love drama" and a lot of other not so nice things to hear. The common denominator with all of them was that they'd internalized a lot of misogyny. They had a hard time making friends with girls because girls picked up on this. They didn't really give girls a chance - they assumed it would end badly, so didn't reach out to girls like they did for guys. I'm not saying this is your issue. My sister, for examples, has always had trouble making friends - and in particular with girls. Part of it is because she is a lesbian and denied this for a long time. Part of that denial had her shying away from girls. But my sister is also a giant ball of anxiety. Having control helps her anxiety but it's also not too conducive to making many friends because she has a hard time compromising or doing an activity someone else suggests.
My point of all the above is that you might find more luck making friends with girls if you think about and analyze why that is. And if it's something you can address/work on, then you may be able to make friends with girls a little more easily.
Onto the issue with boys. Unfortunately, it's a common thing that a lot of guys just aren't taught that girls can be their friends (a lot of girls are taught that they can't just be friends with guys, too), and they pretend to be friends in order to get into a romantic/sexual relationship. So part of the friendship becoming awkward may be due to their inability to accept that they were enjoying having you as a friend. I just want to emphasize that this is not your fault. You just keep making friends. Eventually, you will find someone who realizes what a great friend catch you are, and they will nurture the relationship as much as you. You will find someone who is happy being friends.
Finally, moving schools is scary! Making new friends is hard! Something that can make this easier is joining some club or sport. Girl scouts, book club, mathletes, comic club, soccer, softball, etc. Chances are there's either some youth group or some school clubs or there's a community center that offers clubs/sports/games you can participate in. It can be easier to make friends through clubs like these because you're with people who have a similar interest as you and you're in a situation where it's natural to talk about that and end up getting to know each other. Good luck!
I used to be the kind of kid who was really shy, and so some girls wanted to be my friends. I was friends with them for years, but blindly was manipulated and talked behind my back. I am friends to about 3 girls, but that is a whole life time worth. To this day, they classify me as a "friend", but have always hurt me in many ways. I feel like that has triggered me into this thought on girls. When I moved school, I noticed many girls were exactly the same as what I had been bullied by. I made one friend at that school. But a majortity of my friends were boys, many of which had asked me out- our friendship was awkward from there.
