amaranthine. wrote:I was in a relationship with a guy that I thought was absolutely perfect. Well in February he randomly broke things off with me after nearly six months for no reason. It was two days after Valentine’s day, which we had gone out and had a great time and he said he loved me. I thought everything was perfect. But then, he broke up with me and refused to give me a reason. So basically about two weeks after that he came back to me begging for forgiveness. Of course I still loved him and so I let him back in. Within a week we were back together and for a week or two, happier than ever. Then everything began to come crashing down. He suddenly became verbally abusive. It began as small little things he’d say that I would barely even catch onto and then progressively got worse. Then he began to completely ignore me and would only talk to me if I wanted to mess around… So about three months after being back together he cheated on me, right in front of me. The same week that our band program went to the beach on a trip. He tried to turn all my friends against me saying I was ignoring him and that I was being rude and stuff. Luckily, my friends knew the entire story and didn’t believe him. At the very end of that trip he told me he just wanted to be friends and I agreed but I still loved him. It then took him two days to come back to me. TWO DAYS. But I still cared for him very much and agreed that if he could prove to be trustworthy, that we could still work out. That short five days were amazing! He was not abusive at all and acted extremely apologetic for everything he did. It was so perfect and I'd believed he'd truly changed for the better. It was probably the best five days of my life but of course the happiness didn't last long. It took five days for him to tell me he lied. He gave me one week believing that he still loved me and then he told me he only wanted to be friends with benefits. So I turned him down because my friends talked me into it basically. I knew the relationship was toxic but I felt so trapped by the way I felt about him… However, here I am almost three months later still just as in love with him as I was three months ago. So now we’re returning to band after summer break and I have to see him every day for a solid 8-10 hours. At first I would get super angry when I saw him and it would make me so mad. Because of that resentment I really thought that maybe that was the next step to kind of like get over him. So I thought I was progressing but now I'm back to where I was three months ago. Literally, crying all the time over stupid things. I can't talk to anyone in my real life about this because my friends used to care but now they just want me to drop it. However, I can't drop it because I am literally so miserable ALL the time and I don't know what to do about it.
So now I'm sitting at home, by myself, about to text him. I can't do this anymore... I'm so tired of being 'strong' all the time. I just want him back in my life so bad. I feel so hopeless and I don't know what to do. The only thing holding me back from texting him is I'm actually scared of his answer but things that have happened the last three weeks lead me to believe he would still be interested. I just need help...
Oh wow, this is tragic. From what I have gotten from this, he DOES NOT DESERVE YOU. If he has done all those things to you then he has proven he cannot be trusted. I cannot stress this enough. You can do so much better. Your best hope, in my opinion, is to just try to get over him. Don't keep letting him walk all over you. Believe me, it took my best friend 3 months to convince me that my girlfriend was manipulating me, and when I finally saw it for myself, it hurt. But I am over her now, and it only hurt for a little while, and it gets better, so don't worry. You will find someone who respects you and treats you equally. Don't just settle.
