♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V5♥

[VintageSongBird]

HELP HELP HELP

ok, so, i like this guy that goes to my church, he is two years older (and two grades). we are both in youth choir there. ive had a crush on this guy for over a year now. i think he might like me back, but i dont know anything about guys so maybe not. anyway, he graduated this year and he will be going out of state very soon. i dont know him all that well though and i would like to get to know him better.we do talk sometimes, and we enjoy talking, but i dont see him outside of church, and i dont really know anything about him, other than personality. Is it pointless to tell him how i feel since he is leaving? or should i go for it even though he is? i think about him all the time and when i see him my face gets hot and i get butterflies in my stomach. I really dont want to regret not finding out if there is really something there you know? should i tell him? and if yes, how? I really need help so please, someone answer.

[hollyglow]

My social life is a smoldering ruin...

So, the boy I posted about a whike ago, wondering if he liked me. Well, I saw him at a fair-local-artist thing that our city does today. And he was in a line next to me to get lemonade with his friend and came over and told me I'd just missed the performance his parents were in. So I said thst I'd been there, he asked me if I liked it, and I said it was great. Then he walked off. And then my parents said it seemed like I'd blown him off, and I felt horrible. I hadn't been trying to do that at all, and tomorrow I'm going to see him and I just... grrrr.

[Shadowcookie22]

Recently, all of my friends have been getting boyfriends, either online or in person. I've always been pretty-okay with myself, accepting that things will come as they come, but I've been recently feeling discontent. I feel pressured to get a boyfriend because everyone I know seems to be getting one, even though I know that having one won't actually change my own worth. I'm not sure what to do; I do have people I'd like to pursue but at the same time I'm scared of getting hurt again.

Any advice or help is welcome!

[Lincoln]

Recently, all of my friends have been getting boyfriends, either online or in person. I've always been pretty-okay with myself, accepting that things will come as they come, but I've been recently feeling discontent. I feel pressured to get a boyfriend because everyone I know seems to be getting one, even though I know that having one won't actually change my own worth. I'm not sure what to do; I do have people I'd like to pursue but at the same time I'm scared of getting hurt again.

Any advice or help is welcome!

If you get pressure or forced into a relationship, it's not a relationship. But, if you do it your own way, using your own feelings and instincts, it's real. I am more afraid of hurting my crush than getting hurt. I'm pretty much used to drama. But, if you you feel afraid, then you can give yourself some time. You usually start wanting a relationship when your around 6-8 grade. And it will be different from the time you kissed that boy in third grade. Also, your being peer-pressured. Just because you don't have a boyfriend, doesn't mean your not cool! But maybe your hearing things from your friends, and your fantasizing what it would be like to have your own boyfriend.

Okay, so most of the stuff I just wrote is confusing, because it is quite late for me here. I might be sounding angry, or rude, but I'm sincerely trying to help. Plus, I blab a lot. If you can pick out the pieces of advice, then you have talent. Oh, and honey, don't try an online relationship for your first boyfriend, it's not a good decision for the first time, because it's kinda… fake and player-ish.

Sorry for making you read all this!

-Dakoda [Might as well sign my name. After all, I am acting crazy right now.]

[Casistrophic]

Recently, all of my friends have been getting boyfriends, either online or in person. I've always been pretty-okay with myself, accepting that things will come as they come, but I've been recently feeling discontent. I feel pressured to get a boyfriend because everyone I know seems to be getting one, even though I know that having one won't actually change my own worth. I'm not sure what to do; I do have people I'd like to pursue but at the same time I'm scared of getting hurt again.

Any advice or help is welcome!

I think it's very common to feel what you're feeling. Everyone you know is in a relationship and I bet you're feeling kind of left out in a way because you aren't having that experience. I know it can also be isolating because friends in new relationships can often pay a lot more attention to their new partners and sometimes leave their friends in the dust for a little while. There's nothing wrong with asking someone out if they are a person you genuinely like and want to be involved with romantically, but make sure you're doing it for the right reasons and not just to keep up with the Joneses.

I disagree that online relationships are fake, but I would also not necessarily recommend it especially if it's your first relationship. Long-distance relationships are hard, especially when they have always been long-distance, especially when there is no clear-cut end date to when you will be able to be together full time. I got into an online relationship my senior year of high school and there were a lot of unique struggles to it that ended up not being worth the effort to maintain the relationship.

[~Forbidden Wordplay~]

Well, I found out some (Kind of?) exciting news!

To begin with this, My best friend, JK, has finally gotten into a relationship with someone named JB. And JB is decent friends with a guy I like named M. A couple nights ago I was talking to JK about M, telling her just why I like M in the first place. He's literally everything I was looking for and it escalated from there. Anyways, JK and her boyfriend were talking about M and I, and apparently M had told him that he kind of likes me. But JB also said 'he kind of likes her, but not really'. My friend gave me a simplified version and said that he likes me a little bit, but she doesn't know how far M would take it. JB words everything in a very weird way, and is kind of oblivious to things most of the time as far as emotions, so who knows just how seriously he meant it. I'm taking my friends word for it though since she seems to know JB's behavior like the back or her hand. M is super, SUPER shy. And very awkward when it comes to relationships. Very 'unknowing' I guess. But I'm kind of excited about it. We're going to an amusement park with the high school's band this Friday, so hopefully I'll be able to sit with him! :3

I don't really need help or advice, I just wanted to give a small vent c: If you read this then thank you for your time!

[val.]

help plz ;-;

So a few minutes ago I just found out that my boyfriend's ex still follows my boyfriend and visa versa, even though he claimed he
had no contact with her. Am I being too nosy? Am I just being paranoid or jealous?
It's just I feel very, very insecure now about it all, and our relationship in general.
But I'm going to wait until he gets back from work and see if he says anything, otherwise do you think I should bring it up?

On the plus side, he's sending me a package O.O I have no idea what's in it, he said he would surprise me. He already
knows what I like, so hopefully, hopefully, hopefully he gets me the BMO plush toy I wanted soo badly cx

[thunderofthedrum]

Recently, all of my friends have been getting boyfriends, either online or in person. I've always been pretty-okay with myself, accepting that things will come as they come, but I've been recently feeling discontent. I feel pressured to get a boyfriend because everyone I know seems to be getting one, even though I know that having one won't actually change my own worth. I'm not sure what to do; I do have people I'd like to pursue but at the same time I'm scared of getting hurt again.

Any advice or help is welcome!

Sounds like your head is in the right place! You understand that your relationship status doesn't determine your worth, you know it's that you are feeling the pressure (people aren't joking when they say that peer pressure is VERY real).

I would certainly caution against an online boyfriend just yet. It's not that they are inherently BAD, but when you don't have much dating or life experience you don't realize how that can really affect things. I see so many people forget that it's SO easy to lie online (even little fibs and exaggerations), plus there is the issue of parental permission and if you'll ever get to see the person, as well as what personal information you are giving them and how quickly you trust them.

I think.. first of all, you need to look inside yourself. Ask yourself - do you actually WANT a relationship with those 'potential people' you mentioned, or would you just be using them to make yourself feel better? After all, it's not just about you getting hurt - it's about possibly hurting them as well.

Also, are there any other things in your life that you could focus on? Improving your grades, learning an interest, trying a new hobby, etc? You could even just say you aren't allowed to date yet or something. Unfortunately, peers don't always listen when you say you aren't ready, aren't interested, or simply don't have any crushes. It may help if you have a sort of alternative to offer them, such as something else you are focusing on. You could even say that you aren't interested at anyone at your school and you're waiting for the next school (whether that's middle school, high school, or university) to meet new people.

It's completely normal to just not be focused on getting a boyfriend right now, yet to feel left out if all your friends are getting to experience that cool, new, grown up sort of thing. It can make you feel like the loser or child of the group sometimes. I wasn't focused on that during grade school either; I didn't start dating until halfway through college and by then - sure, I was starting to doubt myself in some ways. I was starting to feel 'behind' in getting life experiences since all my friends had dated, kissed.. But really, that doesn't affect your happiness ultimately. Because, hey - now I'm the one of us in the most serious relationship discussing a lifetime together. xD So just remember - this is all very here-and-now worries. The long-term is a completely different ballgame that you don't have to worry about yet. These little dramas won't matter 5 years from now (or even 1-2 years from now, probably!)

help plz ;-;

So a few minutes ago I just found out that my boyfriend's ex still follows my boyfriend and visa versa, even though he claimed he
had no contact with her. Am I being too nosy? Am I just being paranoid or jealous?
It's just I feel very, very insecure now about it all, and our relationship in general.
But I'm going to wait until he gets back from work and see if he says anything, otherwise do you think I should bring it up?

On the plus side, he's sending me a package O.O I have no idea what's in it, he said he would surprise me. He already
knows what I like, so hopefully, hopefully, hopefully he gets me the BMO plush toy I wanted soo badly cx

What do you mean 'follows'? Do you mean on some sort of social media site? Honestly, I don't see a big issue with it unless she's harassing him, still flirting, fawning over him, etc, in which case you'd want to learn how HE feels about it and if he's interested in putting down more boundaries and space. My boyfriend is still facebook friends with multiple girls of his past. But we communicate; I have heard about these girls, I know how often he talks to any of them, I know what boundaries he's put in place, and I know if there is ever any slip ups into flirting (or irritation, haha). We trust each other.

It sounds like you've already brought it up in the past - has it been long since then? If you do it casually (NOT accusingly), such as saying "Hey, I forgot you still follow So-and-so, you know what she's been up to lately?" You won't get good results if you start the whole thing out by clearly showing distrust. I'd wager you'd have better luck if you keep it purely casual and curious, and perhaps bring up an ex of your own to keep things balanced (instead of only poking into his history). Like say "Man I'm glad I have NOT heard from Ricky; I don't ever want to see his face again". Just to show that it's a balanced conversation, not a one-sided interrogation.

[VintageSongBird]

HELP HELP HELP

ok, so, i like this guy that goes to my church, he is two years older (and two grades). we are both in youth choir there. ive had a crush on this guy for over a year now. i think he might like me back, but i dont know anything about guys so maybe not. anyway, he graduated this year and he will be going out of state very soon. i dont know him all that well though and i would like to get to know him better.we do talk sometimes, and we enjoy talking, but i dont see him outside of church, and i dont really know anything about him, other than personality. Is it pointless to tell him how i feel since he is leaving? or should i go for it even though he is? i think about him all the time and when i see him my face gets hot and i get butterflies in my stomach. I really dont want to regret not finding out if there is really something there you know? should i tell him? and if yes, how? I really need help so please, someone answer.

Plz help

[Casistrophic]

HELP HELP HELP

ok, so, i like this guy that goes to my church, he is two years older (and two grades). we are both in youth choir there. ive had a crush on this guy for over a year now. i think he might like me back, but i dont know anything about guys so maybe not. anyway, he graduated this year and he will be going out of state very soon. i dont know him all that well though and i would like to get to know him better.we do talk sometimes, and we enjoy talking, but i dont see him outside of church, and i dont really know anything about him, other than personality. Is it pointless to tell him how i feel since he is leaving? or should i go for it even though he is? i think about him all the time and when i see him my face gets hot and i get butterflies in my stomach. I really dont want to regret not finding out if there is really something there you know? should i tell him? and if yes, how? I really need help so please, someone answer.

Plz help

Is he moving away permanently, or is he only leaving temporarily? My advice would be to tell him you like him if the move is only temporary (i.e. less than one year) and just do your best to move on if he is leaving permanently. A relationship that starts out long-distance and has no clear date when the couple can reunite is basically dead in the water.