♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V5♥

[Casistrophic]

The other day I slept in the same bed as my boyfriend for the first time, other than naps of course. We were at the beach with his family and they said they were fine with us sharing a bed. His parents are super trusting and know we wouldn't do anything dumb, let alone while in the same room as his two brothers and sister in law. It was super exciting to be able to take that step. However, there's a problem therein. We're both big cuddlers. We love to have as much contact as possible and be as close to one another as possible. After a while of tossing and turning to get comfortable, we found a spot where I could fall asleep. It was about three in the morning. Now, when I was asleep, it was the best sleep I've had in a long time. It was just so comforting knowing that he was right there next to me with his arms around me. He managed to fall asleep shortly after me, apparently after having to free his arm from me that I was hugging. But we both got about two hours of sleep, he probably got less. We woke up around five and couldn't get back to sleep. He was freezing so we just ended up squeezed together talking until the others woke up. I did drift at some point then too. But my dilemma is that is it normal to not be able to fall asleep together? I imagine its something we just need to get used to. It's not like either of us snore or anything physical to keep the other awake. It was both of us unable to fall asleep. Everyone calls me a space heater because my body is always really warm compared to other people, but he gets super cold at night, so that actually works out well and doesn't inhibit anything.

But waking up was the greatest. We were back to back and soon after I rolled into my back cause my hip was asleep, he rolled over too and pulled me to him, commenting how beautiful I was. It was sweet and adorable.

How big was the bed you were sleeping in? My boyfriend would sleep with me when he stayed overnight in my dorm, and squeezing the both of us into a twin bed was rough; he ended up getting an air mattress. If you were sleeping in a bigger bed and still having problems, that's totally normal. It's not uncommon at all for two people to not be "sleep compatible." If you ever move in together you can always just get separate beds, it's no big deal.

[mimosal]

@Casis I believe it was just a full sized bed. Bigger than a twin but not actually very large. Thank you for your response! I didn't think it was a big deal, I was just kinda curious. Though I have heard people talking about not being able to sleep in the same bed being a deal breaker which always just confused me. Seems like a silly thing to break up over. We've always toyed around with the idea of seperate beds in the case that we do move in together, just because of all the studies showing how sleeping with another person can greatly impact your sleep. We've still got some time before that can happen though, so for now there's no real hurry. Thank you again <3

[thunderofthedrum]

The other day I slept in the same bed as my boyfriend for the first time, other than naps of course. We were at the beach with his family and they said they were fine with us sharing a bed. His parents are super trusting and know we wouldn't do anything dumb, let alone while in the same room as his two brothers and sister in law. It was super exciting to be able to take that step. However, there's a problem therein. We're both big cuddlers. We love to have as much contact as possible and be as close to one another as possible. After a while of tossing and turning to get comfortable, we found a spot where I could fall asleep. It was about three in the morning. Now, when I was asleep, it was the best sleep I've had in a long time. It was just so comforting knowing that he was right there next to me with his arms around me. He managed to fall asleep shortly after me, apparently after having to free his arm from me that I was hugging. But we both got about two hours of sleep, he probably got less. We woke up around five and couldn't get back to sleep. He was freezing so we just ended up squeezed together talking until the others woke up. I did drift at some point then too. But my dilemma is that is it normal to not be able to fall asleep together? I imagine its something we just need to get used to. It's not like either of us snore or anything physical to keep the other awake. It was both of us unable to fall asleep. Everyone calls me a space heater because my body is always really warm compared to other people, but he gets super cold at night, so that actually works out well and doesn't inhibit anything.

But waking up was the greatest. We were back to back and soon after I rolled into my back cause my hip was asleep, he rolled over too and pulled me to him, commenting how beautiful I was. It was sweet and adorable.

Yes, I think it's perfectly normal. It takes time to adjust to having someone else in the bed. Naps are so short and often on a couch, whereas sleeping for the night with another person in the bed can definitely take some time to get used to, no matter how much you like the person. I am very happy with my boyfriend but even so - he's in the military so we don't get to sleep together much. After being apart for 5-6 months, it can take a few nights to adjust to being in the same bed.

Heck, I'm a big cuddler but I can NOT fall asleep snuggling really close and I can't fall asleep with my head on his arm/shoulder. I LOVE to snuggle but when I'm ready to sleep, I need to be in a position I know is right for ME, which is typically on my side or stomach. He knows and understands. We typically have several inches in between or, if I'm on my side, I scoot so that my butt and back are against him. I don't always like facing him because someone breathing AT ALL in my face keeps me awake.

Sleeping in the same bed is just a new thing to work out. At one point my boyfriend worried that we would have to have separate beds in the future but I assured him (and he later saw for himself) that it was just because I couldn't share a twin with him. We visited his parents up north for a week over the winter and shared a twin and I could barely sleep; I ended up having to extract myself once he was asleep and taking the other twin bed in the room. The fact of the matter is that he can sleep all cuddled up and entangled and, while I LOOOOVE that the rest of the time, I can't sleep like that.

There are just little things like that that you have to keep learning. And, even if you are 100% on the same page, just subconsciously knowing that there is another person in the bed can keep you awake. There should be no pressure; you just get used to it in your own time. For me, part of it is acknowledging what works for me and being able to make that happen - in the past I sometimes didn't want to feel like I was rejecting my partner's affection or risk waking them up when I moved to get myself comfortable but ultimately my sleep is important and my boyfriend wholeheartedly understands that. We snuggle and then I shift away a little to get comfortable and we go to sleep. It's as simple as that. ^_^

[mimosal]

Thank you for your response too, Thunder! It makes a lot of sense and your situation sounds a lot like ours xD All you guys sharing twins sounds miserable. We just need to figure out what works for us and I'm sure in time we will. It was something new for us both so I think there was a lot going through our heads. I'm not a person who usually likes sharing a bed anyways, I never share a bed with friends or anything, so there was that too. After a few times I'm sure we'll figure the sleeping thing out .u. We'll just have to get our cuddles out before hand then get comfy on our own sides of the bed. But hey, I'm just glad he doesn't steal all of the blankets \o/

[vash ♡]

so we set up our first skype date last night, though computer problems prevented them from being able to watch movies, so we agreed we'd just skype. well then they said they wanted to wait until the next day, because they looked like crap etc. well of course, i was highly disheartened bc my ex used to do the same thing to me all the time (i'd look forward to us skyping and then they'd put it off til sometimes.. never). i was brutally honest with them and told them i had been through this dance too many times to act ok but i told them if that's what they wanted i'd get over it. to which they immediately gave me a skype call on video chat and we talked for ~4 hours. it was the first time we skyped and i have to admit i got sick prior to skyping bc i was so nervous, which has never happened with my ex!! they are borrowing their sister's computer today so we can watch movies and skype tonight, so i'm excited.

[Sharkie.]

Reposting this because it's gone five or six pages without a reply ; w ;

I'm just going to go over my most recent and most serious relationships because they both ended on bad terms and I'm not really over either. I'm on mobile, so please excuse any typos you might find.

I went into middle school this year, and a guy named Hunter ended up attracted to me. His blatant flirting irritating me from the start, because it was always wildly inappropriate and I had made it very clear that I was completely lesbian and that I had a girlfriend. (Said girlfriend and I are still awesome friends.) I avoided him, but once I ran out of excuses, I had to sit with him at lunch. None of the conversation was appropriate and I was extremely uncomfortable. The day after, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said she simply wasn't ready for a relationship and didn't want to reject me when I first ask, which would have sent me into a spiraling depression, and we're still on great terms today.
I really should not have let Hunter know about the breakup.
He started making inappropriate comments that made it sound like we were more than just dating, some of which are still going around. He would follow me around while poking me and begging me to go out with him. The school did not do anything, and I would stand no chance in a physical confrontation, so I eventually said yes. It was four months of basically being his slave. He would make me carry his books, sit on his lap, and would criticize my every mistake. He hit me twice when I said I was bisexual. I was constantly put under pressure from him to do drugs and have sex, thankfully I did not give in and kept clean.
I only got out of it when I noticed that my cousin was in my grade. He had to accompany me to lunch and escort me around because Hunter had threatened me. Because my cousin is very fit, he scared Hunter away and I was left with nothing but a constant fear and distrust of men.

A few days after this, I made a move on my best internet friend, Tess. (No, not the CS owner.) She's clear across the country from me, but we lasted for a good five months. She got distant all of a sudden, though. She left me the day before my birthday, but I don't feel anything. It's worrying me. I felt rejected when the girlfriend before Hunter let me go, I even felt a twinge of regret for Hunter, although it faded very quickly. With Tess, it's like my emotions are just... gone.

I'm curious - did you feel as committed to the Tess relationship? Did you perhaps feel you were already moving on as she grew distant? Do you feel that perhaps you were still recovering from the previous relationships and therefore weren't feeling the same for this one?

It's just.. it sounds like the other two really affected you, perhaps even moreso because they were, in a way, intertwined as an experience.

I did really like Tess, I'd sit by my phone and wait for her to call, I'd sneak away after dinner to see if she could talk. If anything, the more distant she became, the more clingy I got.

[Articuno218]

Its's twenty days until school starts... only about ten until I can invite my crush over to my house.
I keep worrying more and more about asking her out. I mean, I feel like she won't be mad or awkward about it, she's very accepting, but it's the fact that she's one of my only friends and one of my closest friends. I don't want to date her and then lose that if we break up or something...
And the other thing that's worrying me is affection. I'm normally clingy with her anyway, we've hugged and cuddled and stuff and she's fine with that, but she moves into a relationship quickly, and I've never been kissed by anyone. I'm sure she'll respect me if I ask her not to kiss me until I'm comfortable, but it still worries me that I'll be the one to break that boundry if I get too excited at any point and time.

I dunno, I really want to date her and I think she might actually like me as well, and there's more positive things than negative things associated with this... I'm just worried and nervous... *sigh*

[Casistrophic]

Its's twenty days until school starts... only about ten until I can invite my crush over to my house.
I keep worrying more and more about asking her out. I mean, I feel like she won't be mad or awkward about it, she's very accepting, but it's the fact that she's one of my only friends and one of my closest friends. I don't want to date her and then lose that if we break up or something...
And the other thing that's worrying me is affection. I'm normally clingy with her anyway, we've hugged and cuddled and stuff and she's fine with that, but she moves into a relationship quickly, and I've never been kissed by anyone. I'm sure she'll respect me if I ask her not to kiss me until I'm comfortable, but it still worries me that I'll be the one to break that boundry if I get too excited at any point and time.

I dunno, I really want to date her and I think she might actually like me as well, and there's more positive things than negative things associated with this... I'm just worried and nervous... *sigh*

I don't know if this was on purpose but this showed up as unreadably small font.

[marlshore]

would it be possible for me to get a pm? ; v ;

[arbad]

Hi there :>
So there's this guy, a friend of my friend's, who had randomly started sitting with me and my friends at lunch during the second semester last year at school. We had become pretty good friends (at least, I think so). We both LOVED anime, and planned on joining Anime Club together the next year. We also both liked to draw: for example, he'd take my sketchbook and pencil and start drawing something and he'd have me finish it. Our friendship had gotten to the point where he would;
• Come up behind me in the hall and attack me with hugs
• Wrap his arm around my neck while we were walking down the hall
• He left his friends behind one time and caught up to me to hang out on my way to my dad's car
• Come to my locker at 4th pd and walk with my on the way to class
etc... (he's a bit of a dork + has a flirtatious personality)
After a while, I developed a bit of a crush on him, and on the scond to last day of school, I attempted to give him my number. It got awkward, so I quickly said that it was a dare from my friend.(We liked to do dares at lunch, and my friends shipped me with him openly.) On the last day of school, I was absent. My friends told me that they all told him that I liked him at lunch, and even my friend's ex told him. (aaGhGhahhHhh) He (apparently) said that he knew (my friend's ex had told him before lunch) and according to 2 of my friends, he said he kind of liked me back. I don't know if they're just being supportive or something, though...
So my question is:
(I stated earlier that we both planned on joining anime club) Because of this... whatever this is.... should I still join?

I don't have a crazy urge to date him or anything. Relationships are too complicated, and I feel that I'm too young for real love. I would honestly be perfectly happy being friends and hanging out ^-^ He is a great and funny person.
I mean, Its not just to hang out with him - my parents are kind of judgey about anime, and I dont really get a chance to watch it much, so...


yeeeap

this is probably super obvious for most of you ("JUST SAY YES!!!") but I'm super skeptical and dorky and asdsjdkkffgl I need jesus