by tuesdaysart » Fri Sep 30, 2016 9:57 am
Dear Ex,
I'm trying not to think about you, but it's kinda hard not to do that when I still have left over resentment that I need to deal with. It hasn't even been a month since you dumped me, it's only natural that you cross my mind. I wonder how you're doing, but I'm too anxious and uncomfortable to ever talk to again. You probably didn't mean to hurt me and you made me realize how destructive my self hatred was getting (or inspired me to be half as devoted to myself as I used to be you), but I can't help but feel as though we can't be friends again or have a normal conversation again.
Part of me is still bitter over the fact that you lead me on in a way and made me believe I meant more to you than I actually did, making me believe I was going to be your last love (no matter how foolish it sounds considering that we started dating a week after we first met- never doing that again). Part of me is still mad I didn't catch all the red flags and was so desperately attached to you for about a whole month. Part of me is mad I wasn't the one to dump you. Part of me is over you and thinks you're kinda stupid. I wonder sometimes at which point of our relationship you realized that you didn't feel attracted to me anymore- what things you really meant and which ones you didn't. I feel like I have come to terms with the fact you're in my past now, but the lack of closure gets to me. Hopefully, this letter will solve that issue.
Goodbye.
Cali