Dear anyone really,
So lately I've been confused and I feel like I need to be reassured, even if it's not true. There are so many things I've been confused about lately. I'm dating this guy who I really like, but for some reason I have a feeling he likes my best friend. She's like 3 years older than the both of us. She hangs out with us quite a bit, only because I feel more comfortable when she's around. Let's just say she helps me feel comfortable in some situations. Granted this is my first relationship as well. Anyway, he seems to always watch her whenever she's walking somewhere or around. Not all the time, but he tends to. He also tries to do more things as if to impress her. I don't treat him the best. I make fun of him, in a teasing way though and not hurtful. He always knows I'm joking though because he plays along. We also rough house a lot and yeah. Whenever I leave to do something I always come back to see them touching each other in some way. They have so much fun together sometimes. My Mom told me that she always witnesses them flirting with each other. But she said my best friend does it unintentionally. She has a boyfriend as well. My boyfriend only does it unintentionally as well because he's like a kid and has a lot of energy and is pretty much "Hey! Look what I can do guys!". So yeah. I just don't feel comfortable with them doing stuff together because I'm afraid that I'll lose the both of them. I have abandonment issues; my father left me when I was little and I was stuck with my mother. We've gone through some hardships with other men before, so I've learned to be independent and not take crap from people. I'm not naive pretty much. So I feel like I'm falling into some kind of trap with not saying anything. And I'd rather not confront them at all. He does treat me like he likes me a lot though. He always wants to touch me and pokes me all the time. He also gets jealous quite easily. He doesn't know that I know that. He doesn't get angry when he's jealous, you can just see it in his eyes and his expression. We have lots of fun, but sometimes it feels like he has more fun with my older friend. I know that I act very... Tsundere toward him a lot and she acts more like a mother. She cares about him and shows that a lot and tells him. So I guess I get really jealous because I know how I act toward him and I know that he probably deserves better. I don't want to change though, even though that sounds very selfish and mean of me. I'm only being honest. The only reason I'm like toward him is because I'm trying to protect myself from being hurt again. I've been hurt so many times in my life that I don't want to let anyone in anymore. He originally made me depressed because he harmed himself and I had rejected him once in the summer of last year. But this year we reconnected again and he asked me out after we started talking again. Now I'm not even depressed. Like at all. I had a bad phase before he came along. It was terrible. So.... I need some help.
Sincerely,
a very very confused and jealous Nawratus.
Ｌｏｏｋ Ａｔ Ｗｈａｔ Ｉｓ Ｈａｐｐｅｎｉｎｇ Ｔｏ Ｙｏｕ．
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Ｗｅ Ａｒｅ Ａ Ｔｅａｍ． Ｗｅ Ａｒｅ Ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ． Ｗｅ Ａｒｅ Ｈｅｒｏｅｓ．
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Female | Late/Middle Teen | Bisexual | Taken | Semi-literate Roleplayer | Pms Open
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