Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[cat&bear]

S.,
I'm trying to be patient. I've gone through a lot of changes and things are harder than they used to be, but they are also much more tolerable. I've had a lot of issues in particular in the last few weeks. My separation from my parents started as a learning experience of freedom. But now, I have some doubts. It feels like I'm not as wanted in my own home with my parents anymore. My dad isn't nearly as bad as my mom in this way- I think that my mom has been stuck in her own head thinking and dreaming about her adventures with my dad once I'm old enough to move out- that she's ready for me to be gone. She spends all free time with my dad, and it's clear I'm not invited. I'm not around all the time in the evenings, between spending time with my boyfriend and having work- so when I actually see them- they're going out just the two of them all the time. I feel uncomfortable and disconnected with her, but my dad still shows that he wants to see me and spend time with me. I don't ever want to go home, because home.... doesn't feel like home at all.

I was on the couch with my boyfriend and told him I had to start heading home to make curfew,
"You are home"
...I agreed.
I feel more at home with him in his apartment and with his mom, than I do at my own house with my parents.

College is going well, I'm happy I left high school early. I'd be miserable if I was there. But I'm also dealing with not being a dancer, gaining weight, and stressing about grades- because they actually really matter now. I'm trying to figure out where I'm going in about a year, and what I'm going to do with my future. I have such a passion for dance... yet I know I probably won't be able to continue with that. I won't have much money for classes, and I won't have time if I go for the architecture degree I am thinking about. Dance can't be a life time profession, and it's an unlikely one even then.

I'm jealous of my boyfriend. He's still at our high school, taking three times as much dance as I am, taking theater, has friends he sees every day.. He's going to get to preform. He got asked to be in a dance for a choreographer at school, and even to play a small part with the company we both used to be in. He's going to get to dress up and have rehearsals, be on stage, have his name in programs with the other advanced actors from school... and he's going to be amazing. He really is.
But its going to hurt... knowing that I'm not progressing one bit in what I love, while watching him shine... I'll be so proud, I just hope I can put away those hurting feelings by the time he starts having shows- because it's about him, not me. I have no right to take away one bit of joy from it.

One step at a time... one step at a time...

C.

[flightoftheowl]

I can't keep this up. Considering what just happened

[majikmoose]

Dear P______,
I really like your eyes, and your nose, and the way that you get really really excited about science- especially Bill Nye the Science Guy and space. Your eyes are the most gorgeous blue green, and I wish you would smile more because they instantly get brighter. I honestly could talk about you 120% of the time and, surprise, I knew your birthday before I knew N__'s, even though she's my friend. I wish we were friends. I mean, I wish we were more than friends, but that's okay.

To be perfectly honest, all of the flirting and smiling is giving me a migraine. T___ says you like me, but at the same time you flirt with lots of girls. Not as much as me, though. Am I special, or am I just easy to tease? I wish you were just slightly easier to read, but I don't think I would love you as much if you were. Oh, God, I love you.

Considering how you reacted to my asking you to homecoming, (aka the ignoring me for almost a week afterward) it's probably a good thing that you're never going to read this. However, it’s true. I am completely in love with you. Sorry about that.

Just food for thought. Mostly for me, considering you will never read this. Ever.

I love you,
okay?

-D___

[lion's tooth]

Hey.
What on earth was that, referring to me by that? There are just certain things you don't do because now I feel rather confused and conflicted. There are certain things you can and cannot refer to a person as. 'Dear' is a perfect example of that. You tease Virgo a lot like that and they laugh and smile, but that is not a basis to just assume everyone else will be so carefree about being called things like that. Honestly. You realize in many cultures, Japan in particular, if you call someone by the wrong honorific it can be insulting? I'm not insulted, I just think you ought to mind what you say. And if you have been, well maybe make it more clear if you are or are not being serious because that can be extraordinarily troublesome to try to figure out.

[ruberiot]

Dear mom,
I thought you'd made my day, but I guess you actually just ruined it. Thank you. :')
Love,
Your daughter

[Starwood in Aspen]

Dear Facebook...
I usually don't rant off like this but SERIOUSLY?! If It's NOT BROKE , DONT FIX IT!! WHAT Made you change the customary old "Bling" To to this mechanical BELL or whatever it is now when I get a message?! I liked the old one better! This one actually irritates me to a whole new level of anger... WHY? UGh. Guess I'll have to put up with it... I'm worried to find out what the comment noise is now, too! PLus I'm not feeling well today. . Soooo... Yeah.. Just keep adding on guys..
Pack

[ProjectIcarus]

Dear me,
You are way too hard on yourself. Don't freak out over everything, you are doing great.
Although you really need to practice your time management skills.
-toothless obsession

Dear friends,
Guys, I'm the same age as you, yet you won't let me in on your Jokes. If I don't get it, then I don't get it! Big deal! But sometimes you burst out laughing, and I ask what was so funny, and you shake me off and say "it's nothing". You are starting to make me feel left out. Plus could you please stop making references to that one video right in front of me if you aren't even going to tell me what the video is called? Thanks
-me

[wonpil]

dear b,
your so sappy im cringing

dear k,
BABY I MISS U GIRL,,,, IHAVENT SEEN YOU UN LIKE 2 WEEKS LOL WE HAVE MUCH TYO
CONVERSE ABOUT

dear l + c.
freakhigng kiddingh me rn. you had no right to do that thank you v much ((:

dear spanish homies,
homee 's i ned ur help

[lion's tooth]

Darn.
Okay well shoot.
I wanted to say something so badly yesterday but I lost my confidence and started questioning myself and well... I didn't. Gah! So frustrating. I will say something, I promise. Eventually. Eventually. Just not sure when, aha.
.....
Oh dear. Now I really want to say something. I'd better get a move on before Pisces does. Sheesh. And can I just say, I noticed you shuffling about, thinking about whether or not to speak to me. By all means! I find it ironic, I come off as so intimidating to others, but internally I'm a bashful mess. There's really no need for this lack of confidence. I just wish I weren't so fearful and had the courage to say something soon. I really don't want you to find out through Pisces. Or Taurus. Or anyone other then myself. But I don't want to say something too soon. Or late. Because THAT usually happens and it works out horrendously. Gee.
-W.

[specters]

dear m+a

yeesh. I'm embarrassed and ugh--
sad. so much stress and pressure
to not be an emotional nerd. sorry
a, didn't mean to do that to ya. and m
just...accept me.