Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[vympyre]

@ a,
i hope you're okay.
i've been a jittery, nervous wreck all weekend,
but now i'll finally confirm that you're okay.
it's not enough to have a confirmation through the screen, i suppose,
i just need to be able to see for myself.
- m



@ j-k's,
who??? Are you??? Imposter ?? Wh a t do you wan t??
why is your soul purpose innlife to try to disprove my existance ??
¿¿¿ fite me irl ???
- j/m



@ mom,
how about that airline food,,
seriously though, i need professional help
im not one of your co-workers that can be cured by just ranting about their problems :^)
- m

[creep.]

dear m,

We were friends for eight years. Eight years, I trusted you and thought of you as a sister. We were inseparable. Our moms were best friends too, which was really cool because then we'd go over each others houses all the time. We told each other everything, did everything together. Eight years, you meant so much to me. We had so many good times together. What happened? Out of all those years, it took you only a day to forget about me. You lied to me. You absolutely ripped my heart out and I know it was your intention to do it. After not speaking to you for almost a year, ever since you moved, you texted me on my birthday this year - I was so happy. I really thought you were genuine when you were speaking to me. You told me about how you missed me, how you always thought about me, how you could never forget me. Why would you be so cruel? Why would you say things like that and not mean it? Promising to keep in touch with me and everything, wanting to catch up - then ignoring me, when I don't go to some stupid party you invited me to. I would have been happier if you would have just left me alone, didn't even bother wishing me a "happy birthday" and telling me all those things, if your only wish was to make me another useless guest at your party. I just want answers for why you would be that way to me. I've never done anything to you, it makes me so sad. I'm angry with myself for thinking you were being serious. What a joke. I should have listened to A___, she was right from the jump when she told me not to respond to you. You're so jealous of our relationship together, too. You know you are. You blame her for everything, why we didn't talk much in middle school. You are the most inconsiderate, self-absorbed person I have ever met. I hate you - even more than I hate S___ and that's a lot. In fact, I don't even hate her anymore. If I had known then what I knew now, I wouldn't mind her at all. I hope you have fun in your new state, with your new friends. Don't ever text me ever again. If you do, I will be sure to hurt you twice as much as you hurt me.

Sincerely,
It doesn't even matter.

[stranger danger]

Dear Me,
'Get off the dang laptop and do your homework.
Love,
Yourself.

[- ; bonk!]

Dear 'screw it you know who you are,'
You've cried wolf too many times for me to believe you anymore.
~Lavendia D.

[MarkFangirl]

Dear Jay,
Sop acting like your my friend and needing me, and then go off with your friends the next, I can do so much better without you telling me how you" miss" me and we "haven't hung out" and when I go over there, you don't say two words to me! other than: "Don't touch my stuff" and "I don't wanna talk" well that's what friends do!! TALK! if you are gonna text me every 2 weeks and tell you miss me and then not mean it, don't bother.
Sincerely, Me

[odysseus]

dear m,
an update. i saw you at lunch today and you talked to me, and hesitated and looked back at me before leaving the table.
you're probably going to find this post and i'm going to be so embarassed because even though you're super inactive on here (cs) i know you still use it and i know this is so cliché and i'm going to cringe within hours of looking at this message.
but seriously, you're the best. i don't even know how to end this letter.
with love, i guess.
-- vanadium

[starry palms]

dear many, many straight people ive talked to

oh my god shut up
stop telling me to "FLAUNT MY SEXUALIty!! : ) !! be PROUD to be GAY!!! dont HIDE IT :)))"
its so painfully obvious that you have no idea how homophobia works
being gay is not about gay pride and rainbows and being "sassy" or "proud"
its living in constant paranoia of who the hell is gonna find out that you're homosexual and whats gonna happen
its getting thrown right into a fit of panic and edging close to tears when you hear the word "[censored]" because you dont know whats going to happen next
its walking into your catholic school knowing so many people hate you for who you love
its terrifying to think that no, not everybody in your school knows
not everyone in your town knows
but if everyone does find out? there sure as hell are people who are going to hurt you for it
and you hope to god every night and every morning that those people don't find out because if they do
your life is over

[anathema]

dear n,
hhhh why do i still write to you
maybe it's because i love you
it's probably because you're the one person who, for a (very short) time, seemed to care

- m

[Simon_Elias]

Dear Cay (for the second time),
I was too scared. We weren't instructed to switch with someone across the room today, and I couldn't figure out how to work a message to you into my composition, so I just stayed in my seat. I'll do more tomorrow, I promise. I'll tell you my secret soon, let you hear my name, and maybe you will tell me yours - the real one, not the legal one on the roster or this nickname I've made for you so I can host conversations in my head. I feel like I've begun to idolize you, Cay, turned you into this wonderful pillar of safety and hope and understanding without even saying a word to you. I have made myself Jay Gatsby with my mind romping like the mind of God in these fantasies where we are together and we whisper or laugh or scream our secrets and are free to speak our minds. I have made you my Daisy, someone who represents something so very good hidden so very deep inside of me, and I don't even know your gender. It shouldn't matter. We ought to live in a world where people can be themselves without feeling a need to find someone like them first, without being so horribly terrified of how they might react if they are not the same. Please be like me, Cay, please be a secret girl who is willing to listen to a secret boy like me. If that's too much to ask, then just please speak to me. I stare far too much, I know, but I am so careful about it that I don't think you see me doing it. Tonight I will research the Japanese on that shirt you wore, the pastel pink color of hope and pride and maybe. I will have a comment ready, something kind backed by more conversation if it comes, but I want you to notice me the way I noticed you and hope about me the way I hope about you. I'm trying, Cay. I'm trying so very hard.

- The boy who sits across from you and says nothing while his mind rushes and roars with things he wants to tell you.

[Miavinn]

Dear J,
Please, please, please, please stop with the lecturing and pressure. I know my faults, am aware I need to fix them, and have some idea of how to. You don't understand! The thing isn't permanent ad I have chances to fix it and improve. I'm not the only one with the issues either! Some are in a worse position than I, some are in a better one too, but regardless, please stop.
Sincerely,
The stressed student