Dear mirage,
I don't know why, considering I was boiling with emotion last time you did this, but I don't even miss you. In the nicest way possible, while begrudgingly wishing you the best... Okay, while wishing you adequacy, I hope you don't come back. Then, if you do, don't be surprised if I ask a question I needed answered for a story and then leave without a trace. Don't be mad either, because it's no less and no more than what you've done to me. Maybe you'll feel bad and miss me for the rest of your life. I hope you do, but strangely, it's not from anger. It's simply because that's the way it should be.
Our friendship, the good times we had, you can have them back.
Sincerely,
I don't even care anymore.