by Simon_Elias » Mon Sep 07, 2015 12:03 pm
Dear Cay,
Hey. I haven't said a word to you in class, but we have had one hundred conversations inside of my mind. I know nothing about you for sure, but I have theorized and hoped and hoped, Cay, hoped so hard that my entire body hurt just from the feeling of wanting it to be true. I don't know how to talk to you, how to figure out if you really are like me, and so I'm going to take tiny steps. There will be a flag in my notebook, less ambiguity in my writing, our bodies drawing closer as I grow braver. I am a secret boy and I hope you are a secret girl, and I want us to be secret together. Not in a romantic way, but in a way that lets us share and speak and sing when the world refuses to let us talk to it. I have poured out my soul, everything in my being, all of myself, and you have not heard a word because I am too scared to say anything. When it happens, when we talk for the first time, I don;t know what I'll do if you aren't like me. I need someone, Cay, I need someone to look at me and touch my hand and say, "Simon, it's going to be okay." But I can't say anything, for fear of me or them or you, and so I will hope until it happens.
- The boy from seventh period who stares and hopes and plans.
~ Simon ~ trans boy ~ he/him/his ~ gay ~
Currently dealing with some scary, confusing life stuff. I have no idea when I'll be back. Sorry.