Dropped out of school for a year. Now what?

[aimless~worrier]

So, recently, I've got sick... It all started with depression which led to me fainting, dislodging a calcium deposit in my inner ear (which caused chronic vertigo) and it led to my school saying I should take a year (or the rest of my recumbent education) off to recover... I get sick so often I've lost all my vigour, including my once insatiable thirst for learning, philosophy, reading etc. Now, I find I have no real passion in life and no aspirations...

I have all this time on my hands, but I can't get myself to do anything. I feel sick, and so I let my mind waste. I had a plan to continue learning: Latin, Russian, German, French... I wanted to learn art history, since it's not offered as a high school course where I was at, freelance philosophy, cooking, drawing, chemistry and history (which I know little about) AND I wanted to write a novel as I read one a day...

I haven't done anything... I can't get going, I keep pushing off my designed routines because I suffered a really bad relationship with a guy whom I still have feelings for, even after my parents have cut him off completely (forbidden love) and he's moved on since...

WHAT should I do? Everyone is telling me, because I was in the gifted programme, that I am obliged to cultivate my talents. I doubt those too, but I still want to learn. Have you any textbook guides or FREE suggestions or websites that support autodidact learning?

Thanks, Chicken Smoothie, I really appreciate it... These last few weeks have been devastating and I've thought very dark things when my parents start pressuring me and calling me lazy and hopeless... I've been cut off from all my friends too.

[SoundAndVision]

I'm in the advance program too *yay twins* anyways never stop your learning, if you have to use online resources. Wikipedia is not a reliable source but there are many sites that are good for information. Maybe you could even start online course. I hope you get better.

[SoundAndVision]

Also if you keep up with your studies you might not fall behind. You might be able to test out of your classes when you go back.