by exixst » Thu Jan 15, 2015 9:56 am
I see her in less than an hour.
I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say that I believe in myself and believe I can play the solo she doesn't want me to.
I'm a witty person, and when I'm not, I'm spectacular at bluffing. I have my reasons. I have the dedication. I'm not ashamed to play it in front of family, and I really, truly enjoy the piece.
I just hope that I can convince her to agree with me. I oblige all the time to what she has to say, never complain to her, and admit my mistakes. I'm mature enough to realize when I've lost, but with this solo, I'm getting the hang of it. And I'm still in love with it, and still feel excited to play it. It's something I will want to perform for other people.
I just... I can't be so much of a pushover. I'll never get what I want if I don't speak up for myself.
But holy crap, I am so nervous. I'm afraid of rejection, even though I've gone through this many times, of being told that the piece is a bit more challenging than what she thinks I can handle. I beg to differ, and I'm going to tell her that. I'm the master of being polite, so I just have to be assertive.
I shouldn't be so nervous, but I am.