by exixst » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:56 am
People who overreact about things. Like, chill. Nobody cares if you're screaming you're head off over something. Just take a breath, jeez.
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I almost cried today at my lesson because I can't ever do anything right. Iget so discouraged over he fact that I'm not hiting the notes perfectly.
I mean, my throat was closing up and my sentences were getting shorter. I kept screwing up, over and over, about the same thing. It was too hard for me to do today. I haven't gotten good sleep for the past three days, I was already stressed about messing up, and then I kept having to do it over and over again. I was holdin my how wrong, I was playing bad notes, I couldn't give her the name of one and she acted like I told her I killed someone...
I screw up, okay?! I don't ever do things perfectly. Ever. I just can't. I have practiced the same song for maybe thirteen weeks now - just a simple, repeating, two-paged song - and I still screw it up. And when people demand perfection from me, it destroys my confidence when I can't give it to them.
The only thing I can do perfectly is screw up. But, hey, it's something, right?