by leachface » Sun Apr 06, 2014 12:08 pm
Ugh..., seriously what in the world did I do wrong!? Tell me why don't you, please, at least talk to me Mom, You promised if I was good for the whole week, (which I have been,) that you'd take me to Tampa, and now we can't go?! I did nothing wrong, your yelling at me why exactly, telling me to forget it? Forget what exactly?! You say it doesn't matter, I'm sure it matters I want to find my friend, I'm sorry your sick and not feeling well but excuse me, I didn't take you for a lire, i was good on my word, I was good, you promised. you never said that if you got a small cold, we couldn't go, you only said if I was bad, I couldn't go...-.-
How do you expect me to learn, the goods, of good, if I don't get treated with the same respect. Honestly, I feel everyone in this house doesn't know I even exist, if they do, they just... hate me. No one offered me a slice of cake yesterday, for your birthday. Everyone else was offered a piece of cake, and enjoyed themselves last night while I sat at my spot on the table hoping someone would be ever so kind enough to offer me a share. But no one cares about me anymore, no one talks to me since my friend moved away. No one loves, me, I'm just there, I'm a use of space, I'm hated. The youngest child in the family, who happens to unluckily be a twin....
I wish there was some one to say, its okay, you don't have to give up. You are cared about, I will help you find your friend. Even if no one at school even knew that they were my friend, because they didn't want anyone to know, they protected me from bullies. They brightened my day, when i was sad, or my sister stayed home sick, they made sure no one hurts me. But now they're gone their parents couldn't pay the rent on the house, I know they moved away months ago the week before Christmas, I know I saw them last on the 18 of December, but at least I care to remember them and not forget them like everyone else does...
I want to live with my Dad, I want to get my hair cut how I want it, with out any one going, oh, you'll have to straighten it every single day, blah blah blah, I know, I know I know, i'm not dumb, who do you take me for,? I want .... every thing to be how it used to be, how it could have been, I want my friend back, I want my dad back, I want my Grandma, I want dad to go back to Tennessee. I want a streak of blue in my hair, (gahh I'm so selfish i hate myself, all I care about is what I want, but at school i'm the opposite, I'm shy ad weak, and scared, trying to not be judged. ) maybe, .... maybe I was meant to be alone, forever, no one to care about me, not my family not my friends, not my dog, maybe I am supposed to live alone, and be miserable all the time, I absolutely hate having to take depression pills, sense my friend moved away. I hate how I treat some people, I hate myself...
Bertholdt Hoover is the best <3