by tawnypelt3 » Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:42 am
I opened my split lip again. I was doing so good, too. No laughing or smiling too much, being conscious of it while talking and eating, yadda yadda. Then it just randomly came open when I was about to eat a peppermint candy. Great.
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I had horrible dreams. It was like I was awake (mostly), because I was being tormented by my mother and she was lying to the neighbor about me and she did something horrible to my cat, in this case soaking him with water from the hose, and it was just awful. I don't need to have dreams about this stuff when I can just wake up and see it all happen in real life.
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Do you understand now? Do you see how I run away when shown too much kindness? I think all of you should, given I haven't contacted any of you in days, maybe a week. I don't even know how long, too busy running away because I'm terrified you'll continue to try to be nice to me.
I can't handle it. I don't know why, or how, or when, but this is how I am and I can't stop it. You get too close and I push you away, and if you don't back off a little then I freak out and shut down and run.
I don't like it. I don't wanna do it. It's not a good thing, it's not fun. Being afraid of kindness. I don't want that, I just want to be able to appreciate feeling like someone actually cares for once, but when they do I just... I can't do it...... I hate this......
I was hacked. Not going to remake all my groups and such unless I feel like it. That's a lotta work. Don't bother with trades, everything's a mess.
Need:

Will offer
reasonable overpay.
.Note to self:
Reduce idiot level.
