Silently-there wrote:Nunca Ethereal wrote:I hate school. It's official.
I love my teachers, I really do. I'm not bullied or anything, which I'm deeply grateful for. I'm just such a perfectionist... And I always stress out about the smallest things...
One piece if homework not done, my brain goes into hyper mode and starts building up and building up anxiety and stress. Sometimes I just can't think and I break down... And I cry and I cry. I did that just some minutes ago. In front of my mom.
She tries to help, and really, she does help. She just doesn't understand... My school has so many higher expectations than hers ever did....
And I'm just so scared if disappointing people, or doing something that will make me start being bullied. My mom says that at some point in a persons life, they are always bullied. Unless they are the bully.
And I just... The idea that people might think of me as a bully scares the heck out of me.....
And if I'm not a bully..... I don't want to be bullied... And I don't want......
I just don't want to make another problem in my life... Cause I mean... One wrong move and things go spiraling out of direction.....I think your mom knows what she's talking about, because in a sense, she's right. In fact, sometimes you don't even know if you're being bullied. I've been bullied a lot, and in the long run, I promise it doesn't really matter unless it's really bad, which can be prevented and is now under your control, so you don't have to worry too much about that.
However, if you were a bully and other people considered you as one, you would know. Most of the time, bullies only are the way they are because of the way they were raised or because of personal struggles they're going through. It's not just because they feel like it and grr.
Also, I'm sure that if you ever snap at people or are rude, they'd know you're stressed out or have a reason. Most of the time, when we're upset, we tend to be a little less tolerant or patient to others, which is okay, if they're patient and tolerant of us. We're all human, we all have emotions, we all have those times.
Thanks...... I think people may have bullied me, but I come from a family where teasing is common, and I don't think I realize it.....
And I know that, it's just... I'm scared of the alternative. Of it actually being bad, cause I hear of that all the time. My best friend-people on the internet-and more..... So I'm just nervous about that happening, cause I have anxiety.....
This was actually a good explanation... So thanks... I'm not good at lengthy replies or anything.... But I find reading these really helpful.
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