i am such a loser. my day hasn't been going very well. ;n;
first, i woke up late since i've been on a trip and i didn't get very much sleep, so my mom had to drive me to the bus stop. i usually love the bus because there are a lot of older boys who flirt with me and are my friends, but lately they've been ignoring me, so i was lonely on the ride to school.
after that, i had p.e. which i hate because i'm overweight and don't need people to see that i can't run for 2 seconds without dying and gasping for breath. p.e. is very degrading to me.
next, i had orchestra, which is usually okay. i realized my violin was horribly out of tune, so i got up to take it to the teacher to tune, since i didn't want to break it, and my friend/stand partner offered to tune it with a digital tuner she got. in the process, she broke my string, so i have to buy a new one.
after that, i had english, which i usually love because i have it with both of my best friends and my major crush, ryan. i got there a little early and sat in my usual seat, which is the seat behind ryan's seat. he came in and sat down, and then my friend came in, and she sat down and told me to go with her outside to the hall. i went, and she told me that while i was on my trip ryan had been saying really bad things about me. i'm really confused because ryan is really nice to me. he talks to me, when i drop stuff he picks it up, etc. and now i found out he doesn't like me?
and then when i went to get on the bus, i sat down, and this other guy, alex, who i have a crush on sat by me and talked to me most of the way home, which was a highlight to the rest of my day. as usual, i walked home alone. behind me was this guy named chad who i used to bother and constantly pester until it got so bad his mom had to have a talk with me. i've cut back on bothering him, i don't stare at him anymore, i never talk to him, but my mom told me to say hi when i see him to let him know i'm not going to be creepy anymore. so i said hi to him and he looked at me then looked straight ahead. i stood there, waiting for an answer until he walked right past and turned the corner. i started crying as i walked home. i really wanted my mom to hug me and tell me it would be okay, but she was gone, so i laid on my bed and cried until she got home, and i felt miserable. i'm just having a bad day. i need some hugs and advice on how to handle chad and ryan. please, someone help me. ;n;
~alexander.
