please don't read this because you'll just think i'm an attention seeking brat who can't spell or capitalize. so please don't read it, i just want to get it off my back. fair warning.
so pissed off at my mom right now, holy crap. she doesn't give a d*mn about my sister, if I wasn't here to supervise things and keep them under control she'd let my sister go gallivanting off wherever she wanted without even blinking. And if that isn't bad enough, she just freaking let her go up our incredibly steep and dangerous stairs by herself and doesn't freaking care. IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN THREE MONTHS YET JESUS CHRIST WOMAN SHE COULD DIE WOULD YOU EVEN FREAKING NOTICE THAT?!!!? maybe you can keep lying to yourself and keep convincing yourself that it's going to be okay but its not. I gave up trying to fool myself long ago, because freaking nothing's ever going to be okay again. maybe it doesn't scar you like it does me, i still have flashbacks every freaking night, and i'm pretty d*mn sure that it left me with PTSD and depression. so maybe that's why i'm more careful, maybe that's why i care, because it hurt me so badly. i do not want to go through that pain again, and the pain of really losing her.. that is why she cannot waltz around without someone with her, because if she fell on these floors then that would be it. and it can still freaking happen. if it happened on those stairs then there would literally be no chance. WHY CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THIS, WOMAN? GOD, I can't wait for my dad to get back. at least he cares and would never, ever let her do something like that. and it's hopeless to try and talk to her about it, because she starts shrieking about how I'm overreacting and to stay calm. literally, she yells. but i refuse to fool myself into thinking that it's gonna be okay. i cant even begin to count the number of times that i successfully made myself believe that it was going to be okay and then everything was completely shattered. i just wish that my freaking mom cared about her, god. ;c








