by EmberWolf » Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:51 pm
i'm going to cry and i normally dont cry at these things but ugh
i hate thinking about college i hate thinking about money and i know what i want to do but everyone is telling me that i shouldnt because its going to be too expensive and ill be burdened with debt for the rest of my life and i know i will i understand that but i dont want to end up going to community college for four years and paying for classes i dont need or want to take and then having a useless degree that gets me an average job doing something i dont want to do and still pay off student loans for the rest of my life
sometimes i hate wanting to go into art. i hate that i can consider my self decent at art and that thats where my passion is and thats what i want to do because it sucks because everyone tells you that you need a plan b because they think that a career cant be made out of it
what sucks the worst though is that there is truth in their words i cant ignore. yes, the college i want to go to is expensive, and im going to be paying off student loans for the rest of my life, because im poor. doesnt matter if i qualify for scholarships because its not going to pay for it all
i dont even know what i want to do afterwards. i have an idea, but it doesnt mean its going to happen. i dont even want to think about any of this but i know i have to, im starting my senior year of high school in half a month.
"we dont want to seem like we are crushing your dreams or anything, but you've got to see the big picture"
doesn't matter, dreams have been crushed, but i cant blame them for it. they cant magically make me rich so i dont have to worry about it. the big picture sucks, i just want to stay in my little box of happy forever, but time is up. im not a kid anymore. money isnt a birthday present that i can spend on candy, money is life and everything because thats the society we've created and no one can do anything about it. i cant help it, because im crying now.

♥
G.B. ♥
"hi, i'm G.B., one of Ember's real life cats.
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i am
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