Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[*Exile*]

need some one to rant to about this guy.
if your up for the job pm me c:.

[Thalassic]

A little update on my situation
(thanks to everyone who PM'd me and listened to it all!)

I ended up just kinda being direct with it, to get it over with, and the conclusion is this:
He did admit to like-liking me, but also admitted how he can see that it might be a problem due to me living in a different city, me being pansexual and him being best friends with my cousin.
I explained the situation with me and my LDR boyfriend and he totally understood everything and was awesome about it and said he still thinks of me as a cool person (which I assume means we can still be friends which is GREAT), said he would not tell anyone about it, and would even love to meet my bf!

Ahh happii ;v; Everything turned out great <3

[marimoon]

Right, so I'm in a bit of a problem.

There's this guy, we'll call him C.
We kinda grew up together because our mothers are really close friends and all, so generally when we come to visit we'll all just hang out.
He usually sleeps over because my brother and him are best friends (kind of) and he sleeps on the couch. Around three years ago I was sitting on the couch, with my legs crossed and he just walked in, lay down with his head on my leg and we were holding hands.
So the years passed and we kept doing that and last year I began to think about it and I got feels.
MANY FEELS.
So now when I came to visit at first he was a little distant, but then he just poofed and when my mom asked me to give a book back to the neighbour he came with, and gave me his jacket because it was windy.
Later on whilst we were coming back he just randomly put his arm around me (we were walking beside each other) and pulled my really close. He did that a lot but never before.
When we came back we were all playing Uno, and he decided to sit next to me. VERYCLOSEFEELS
And then he left and another day he came back and we were playing Uno again and I had the biggest ball of Mentos in my mout and I could barely talk, let alone swallow back my saliva without choking, and a little bit just fell out off my mouth and he teased me about it. That was two weeks ago and he's still teasing me about it.
Onwards, we were at his house, because my dad was leaving and he wanted to say goodbye, but a few minutes before it was time to go I was busy with their dog. (we'll call him bby) He just walks out of the house whilst I'm stumbling up because bby is jumping on me and C throws his arms around me in a hug, and when he lets go he looks between me and bby, and says,

"He's going to remember you, and when you come back he'll bounce on you and make you drool." (referring to the mentos incident.)

And when we were standing outside the car he kept on bugging me by fiddling with my ear. So we went and then a few days later he came back to sleep over but my brother had gone with my dad, so it was just me and him sometimes. He had his arm around my neck most of the time and it was really sweet and all because yes and then he saw my beanie thingy and he like, "That's an awesome beanie can I have it?" and I told him yes, but for 25 reais. (brazil currency. we're in brazil.)

So we went together to the bank to get money and he hugged me really hard when we were about to take the bus back home because he was traveling south for the holidays and he went a few days ago, but we're friends on facebook, and he started poking me, so I poked him back.
and he's poking me nonstop now.

But here's the problem.
He's five years older than me.



WEEE OOOO UPDATE!

So I moved back to Brazil, and Cuddles also moved to a different house that's really high on a hill. Our moms are best friends, so we went to visit.
(unrelated note: The view is of an amazing beach)
My mom 'dragged' my along, but I was happy to tag along. So when we got there, we were sitting in one of the little bars they have selling sugarcane juice. Cuddles came down topless to help with one of the bags we were carrying because it was quite heavy. Nothing spontaneous happened, but after a while we were just lounging in the lounge and I was using some old couch cushions as pillows. Cuddles was getting water and then when he came back he just pulled one of the cushions from under my head and puts it next to me and lies down, and out of nowhere he starts poking me and playing around with my hair and pulling my ear gently, things like that. Later on, we all went to the waterfall, and because we're in brazil, not many people actually speak english, but there was one guy at the waterfall who was american. So I took my chances to show off and ask him, "how cold is the water?" and he went on to explain really loudly, in english, that there was a cave behind the waterfall. Nothing in particular with that guy but I was just showing off.
Anyways, we were all swimming except Cuddles, because he had recently broken his toe and was scared to dive in and it was so cute, but since he was out and it was time to go he offered help getting up, and it kinda happened like:

"You need help?"
"nah"
"fine then, stay in." and pushed me back in. It seems really mean but it was really gentle and we were laughing about it at the barbeque, where he sat next me when he wasn't being a waiter. At the barbeque, the neighbour's dog was all over me. She (lady the dog) was jumping up, and she was huge, but she jumped on my lap, and when we were leaving, there were these other two dogs that I was all over, petting and hugging, y'know?
So later Cuddles invited me out with his friends, and they were far in the beach with their aunt's two huge dogs. Anyways, we were walking on the beach, alone, and it was really dark. Except it wasn't one of those walks because we were speeding along. So we got to his friends and Cuddles told his friend, 'Pup' to gimme the dog. Pup just walks along to me, flips his hair out of his face, smiles widely and hands me the leash. So we were just playing with the dogs and walking, and then when it was only Cuddles, Pup and I, and no dogs, we were walking and I stopped to pet a dog, who apparently bites Pup all the time, and Cuddles just replies, "She's just really animally."
I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not, but I hope it's impressive.
Before Pup had to leave, he literally ran over, kissed my cheek and then just smiled and whispered, "Goodnight".
So later it was just me and him in the living room, and he was lying on the rug and I caught him looking at me a lot, and I'm just really feeling feels.

I need advice but mostly on how to get over these darn feels?

[Insurgent]

First of all- this is not puppy love. We are in high school.

So, we've been dating for almost 7 months. I love him. I really, really, really do. I haven't known him for long because he just moved here from Vegas about a year and a half ago. He's absolutely incredible. He's got brown wavy hair, gorgeous eyes. The eyes.... they're crystal blue, with gold around the pupils and light spiderwebs throughout the iris. Gorgeous. He's a little bit taller than me. And he is the sweetest person in the world. Holy crap can he sweet talk.

So anyway, he's amazing, and at first, he was perfect in every way. I loved the way he tickles me, and how he wrapped his arms around my waist, how he teased me and made me laugh, the way he smiled that lit up his beautiful eyes...
But now, he's still wonderful, however, I've been noticing tiny things about him that irritate me. He can be obnoxious. Quite obnoxious. And every story he tells begins with the names of his two best friends from Vegas, the title of his favorite video game, and one of his many ex-girlfriends(Which very much irritates me) I don't talk about my previous love lives. -3- I want to break up with him, but I just can't because he makes me so happy.

I also know that he has a history with depression, so I can't break his heart. I kind of saved his life and I can't be responsible for hurting him. I just can't. He used to be a player, cheating on people and doing other awful things, but I changed him. And... He's been great, hasn't done anything of that sort. Except, he has tried to force me into doing "something" I did not want to do. Afterward he said, "It's fine, Kenzie. I love you regardless, so take your time." That should have reassured me, right? Wrong. It is really stressing me out. I feel as though I don't deserve him. I am not good enough for him. Who else loves me and would cuddle with me and watch Dr.Who? I am both happy and depressed and I am still trying to figure out how this could be.

[Dia.]

First of all- this is not puppy love. We are in high school.

So, we've been dating for almost 7 months. I love him. I really, really, really do. I haven't known him for long because he just moved here from Vegas about a year and a half ago. He's absolutely incredible. He's got brown wavy hair, gorgeous eyes. The eyes.... they're crystal blue, with gold around the pupils and light spiderwebs throughout the iris. Gorgeous. He's a little bit taller than me. And he is the sweetest person in the world. Holy crap can he sweet talk.

So anyway, he's amazing, and at first, he was perfect in every way. I loved the way he tickles me, and how he wrapped his arms around my waist, how he teased me and made me laugh, the way he smiled that lit up his beautiful eyes...
But now, he's still wonderful, however, I've been noticing tiny things about him that irritate me. He can be obnoxious. Quite obnoxious. And every story he tells begins with the names of his two best friends from Vegas, the title of his favorite video game, and one of his many ex-girlfriends(Which very much irritates me) I don't talk about my previous love lives. -3- I want to break up with him, but I just can't because he makes me so happy.

I also know that he has a history with depression, so I can't break his heart. I kind of saved his life and I can't be responsible for hurting him. I just can't. He used to be a player, cheating on people and doing other awful things, but I changed him. And... He's been great, hasn't done anything of that sort. Except, he has tried to force me into doing "something" I did not want to do. Afterward he said, "It's fine, Kenzie. I love you regardless, so take your time." That should have reassured me, right? Wrong. It is really stressing me out. I feel as though I don't deserve him. I am not good enough for him. Who else loves me and would cuddle with me and watch Dr.Who? I am both happy and depressed and I am still trying to figure out how this could be.

First of all, if you want to break up with him, I highly doubt you really, really love him.
Okay, if he has little things that bug you, there is no reason just to break up with him about it. If it's not puppy love, then there is no reason you can't talk to him about it and ask him to stop. I wouldn't hesitate to tell my boyfriend, "You know it kind of bothers me when you talk about your past girlfriends..." In fact, I've actually told him, "The way she talks to you and acts around you makes me uncomfortable..." and he worked to make me feel better and less jealous. Of course, you can't go up to him and rattle off a long list of things that irritate you, but you can talk things out a little at a time. ^^
If he makes you so happy, don't break up with him... because you'll likely never truly get him back.
However, don't make yourself unhappy just so you don't break his heart. If you're unhappy, it's best to do what is in your best interest. In the situation you're in though (with his depression), tread softly and make it clear that you're still going to be there for him. Possibly seek parental/adult help if you are worried about him.
He's tried to force you into doing "something, but he also respected your wishes not to. Don't stress out about it.
Every girl deserves an awesome boy. Why don't you think you deserve him, especially if he makes you so happy? Honestly, if he loves you and makes you happy and does things you want to do and respects you, you both deserve each other.

[SnakeBean]

Posting here so I can remember it for later...

[HorseFan21♞]

First of all- this is not puppy love. We are in high school.

So, we've been dating for almost 7 months. I love him. I really, really, really do. I haven't known him for long because he just moved here from Vegas about a year and a half ago. He's absolutely incredible. He's got brown wavy hair, gorgeous eyes. The eyes.... they're crystal blue, with gold around the pupils and light spiderwebs throughout the iris. Gorgeous. He's a little bit taller than me. And he is the sweetest person in the world. Holy crap can he sweet talk.

So anyway, he's amazing, and at first, he was perfect in every way. I loved the way he tickles me, and how he wrapped his arms around my waist, how he teased me and made me laugh, the way he smiled that lit up his beautiful eyes...
But now, he's still wonderful, however, I've been noticing tiny things about him that irritate me. He can be obnoxious. Quite obnoxious. And every story he tells begins with the names of his two best friends from Vegas, the title of his favorite video game, and one of his many ex-girlfriends(Which very much irritates me) I don't talk about my previous love lives. -3- I want to break up with him, but I just can't because he makes me so happy.

I also know that he has a history with depression, so I can't break his heart. I kind of saved his life and I can't be responsible for hurting him. I just can't. He used to be a player, cheating on people and doing other awful things, but I changed him. And... He's been great, hasn't done anything of that sort. Except, he has tried to force me into doing "something" I did not want to do. Afterward he said, "It's fine, Kenzie. I love you regardless, so take your time." That should have reassured me, right? Wrong. It is really stressing me out. I feel as though I don't deserve him. I am not good enough for him. Who else loves me and would cuddle with me and watch Dr.Who? I am both happy and depressed and I am still trying to figure out how this could be.

Well if he makes you so happy, breaking up certainly isn't a good choice, since you both are going to have a pretty painful time trying to get over each other. >_>
Maybe you should " set the limits" bit by bit like I did when I got to know my crush a little better. Id death glare him or tell him it makes me antsy whenever some of his perverted jokes went too far. :3 He's never gone over the line since. :p I'm nearly scared by having such a good friend/crush. How is it I deserve it? >.<

[Simplistic Beauty]

Posting here so I can remember it for later...

Wouldn't the bookmark tab work for that?

Ontopic: I love teasing my online friend about her celeb crushes because she doesn't have any actual crushes so like I always make jokes about her celeb crushes and like we make sexual jokes all the time cause it's how we are and then he always gets me back 10x worse buy saying that but with my actual crush who is also an online friend. We always joke around like that me and her. I don't mind her joking like that but it's whoa there, not there yet. Me and him aren't even dating for Pete's sake! I wish we were though to be honest.. She ships us like hardcore though so it's kinda not her fault also, lol.

[Insurgent]

Thank you. I don't know Dia and HorseFan. I'm just really confused...
I DO really love him, which is why I want what's best for him, but I don't think that that's me. Also, there are a ton of people who want to date him, so I get bullied and picked on. He has.... caused a lot of problems. It's a bit complex and difficult to explain. The thing is, none of my friends approve of him, which I don't care about, but he takes very personally. And there are people who like me as well. That causes a lot of arguments. I've tried to talk to him about, but it just makes us both frustrated. I don't want to have one boyfriend throughout high school, you know? He's talking about us getting married and having two kids, Tali and Jason. But I don't want to think about that for at least 7 years or so!!! And once, at a bowling alley, he proposed to me, and I thought it was a joke, so I said yes and he took it seriously, and I've just gotten into such a huge mess....

[thunderofthedrum]

First of all- this is not puppy love. We are in high school.

So, we've been dating for almost 7 months. I love him. I really, really, really do. I haven't known him for long because he just moved here from Vegas about a year and a half ago. He's absolutely incredible. He's got brown wavy hair, gorgeous eyes. The eyes.... they're crystal blue, with gold around the pupils and light spiderwebs throughout the iris. Gorgeous. He's a little bit taller than me. And he is the sweetest person in the world. Holy crap can he sweet talk.

So anyway, he's amazing, and at first, he was perfect in every way. I loved the way he tickles me, and how he wrapped his arms around my waist, how he teased me and made me laugh, the way he smiled that lit up his beautiful eyes...
But now, he's still wonderful, however, I've been noticing tiny things about him that irritate me. He can be obnoxious. Quite obnoxious. And every story he tells begins with the names of his two best friends from Vegas, the title of his favorite video game, and one of his many ex-girlfriends(Which very much irritates me) I don't talk about my previous love lives. -3- I want to break up with him, but I just can't because he makes me so happy.

I also know that he has a history with depression, so I can't break his heart. I kind of saved his life and I can't be responsible for hurting him. I just can't. He used to be a player, cheating on people and doing other awful things, but I changed him. And... He's been great, hasn't done anything of that sort. Except, he has tried to force me into doing "something" I did not want to do. Afterward he said, "It's fine, Kenzie. I love you regardless, so take your time." That should have reassured me, right? Wrong. It is really stressing me out. I feel as though I don't deserve him. I am not good enough for him. Who else loves me and would cuddle with me and watch Dr.Who? I am both happy and depressed and I am still trying to figure out how this could be.

Okay. Let's be logical about this (might be asking a lot of a teen but here goes). First paragraph is pretty much ONLY about physical features, nothing about him as a person, so we should just ignore that entirely. Second is some of the lovey dovey stuff that happens during the initial phase of dating, the happy honeymoon phase where you are getting to know each other a bit and are both just really happy to have someone's attention and affection. This happens between a LOT of people and can make things seem perfect until you really get to know the person.

Sounds like now that you've gotten to know him, you aren't terribly attracted to his personality. And don't feel like you need to go overboard - sure, you may have perked up his life and helped him make some positive changes, but that doesn't mean you saved his life or that that progress will come crumbling down after you leave the picture. And that's okay. We all want to feel needed and desired, as you definitely feel right now. But if you are not HAPPY with him, then it's not fair to you and potentially a waste of your precious time. You would still both walk away with some new experiences under your belt and be a little wiser for it, but of course there may also be some harsh feelings. That's normal for ending any kind of relationship.

Really what it comes down to is communication and drawing the line. Have you talked to him about any of your concerns? If something he does bothers you, have you spoken up? Such as an obnoxious habit or talking about exgirlfriends, I mean. Or perhaps asking if being abstinent for a while is going to be an issue for him because it's important for you. If you feel you just need to get to know him better, set an amount of time, like 2-3 months before deciding whether to break up or not. In this case I don't think you need to tell him about this little deadline because it's personal, but I think you need to decide whether you want to TRY to improve the situation or if you just want to end the relationship. You are in high school. Nothing is set in stone. These are all learning experiences and you will NEVER get to a point where you truly feel you have everything all figured out. Trust me; I believe that myself and so do all the 50s-60s aged parents I know, including myself. You always learn and it sounds like this experience is just having you learn about having a decently long relationship, making hard decisions, getting to better know what you want out of a guy, etc.

And I promise, there are guys that like Doctor Who! And that like to cuddle! I don't like Doctor Who so I've never asked my boyfriend if he'd try it out, but I LOVE cuddling and he is usually up for it (unless he's very full or his stomach feels funny from eating junk food or he's smokey or in a bad mood). You will find a guy you connect much better with in the future!

PS - discussing kid names that soon is a bit weird if you ask me. My boyfriend mentions kids and I just blank out and panic internally. And we've been together nearly 2 years and are in our mid-twenties. It still is super weird to me. I mean, I have a girl name picked out but that doesn't mean I gush about it. But hey, I don't even know if I want kids at all, so I may be a little more sensitive about the subject than some people.