Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[Thalassic]

I am incredibly frustrated with my current boyfriend. I love him, like, a lot. I have plans to move in with him after i turn 18, even. I am bi, and have been really wanting a girl, lately. I have never dated a girl, but I really, really want to. My boyfriend gave me permission to "play around" with girls if I really want to, but I would have trouble with guilt. I really don't want to hurt him, but I really need this for myself... BLARG BEING BI SUCKS

I am not really looking for advice, though it would be nice. Just ranting. Thanks for reading/listening if you did!

I don't think this has anything to do with being bi.

I've got friends who are bi, have their boyfriend/girlfriend, and feel no need to be with someone else.

It sounds to me like you're more curious than anything. And I agree with thunderofthedrum: he probably shouldn't be giving you permission to 'play around' with other people. The gender of the person shouldn't matter. Unless you two have agreed on an open relationship, experimenting with other people, especially when you claim to love that person and want to move in with them, isn't really a good thing to do, especially if you already know you'd feel guilty doing it.

If you're going to feel guilty about something, don't do it. C:

This.
I'm pansexual and in a relationship with a guy and have felt the need to be with, or experiment with anyone else regardless of gender, so I don't think it has to do with bisexuality. This is a long shot, but I think polysexuality could have a little to do with something like that.

[GIGABITE]

Ok so I have a problem

I'm a bisexual girl (not my issue here, just clearing up a fact before I get to the story)
I've been in love with this (also bi) girl for a while. Anyone who reads my occasional posts on here knows "K" right? Anyways, I recently got epically pushed away in favor of guys who will... Do the kind of stuff 80% of people in my grade are obsessed with.
That was disappointing, but again, not my main problem.
Well, I've found myself fancying one of her ex boyfriends.
Ok two problems with this
1. She usually doesn't care what friends date which of her exes because they're exes and she dumped them for a reason, but this guy she's still in love with. But she won't admit it. In any case, I'd probably be dead if she knew
2. I hate this guy! He's such a total player and I hate the player types. He's snarky, brutally honest, not the brightest educationally, and holds a grudge terribly. He's probably the exact opposite of my type. He has a way with words though, and like I said, he's no liar, and isn't obsessed with getting with every girl

It would be easy to ignore my stupid liking for him if he didn't search me out at school all of the time to talk to me, and didn't (jokingly probably) flirt with me/hit on me. He's also very touchy, like he'll try to hug me or touch my arm, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't like being touched by anyone unless it's a hug or kiss from family, or a high five or hug from a good friend. Anyone else touching me makes me shut myself off and stand there stupidly wishing I was somewhere else.

So why do I like him? He's ok to talk to, but I hate how touchy he is and he's a player and asdfghjkl I don't even know why. Whyyyyyyyyyy Dx

[northern downpour ;;]

me:i love you so much.
him: i love you so much too.
me: yeah but i love you more!
him: nope i love you more!
me: well then how much do you love me?
him: i love you so much and enough that next year i'm gonna be living with you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
do any of you have any experiences with meeting up with ldr significant others?
there's a possibility, if a bit slight, that i might visit him within the next few months. (we're 655 miles away, so it's quite a bit.)
otherwise, regardless, he's going to be old enough to leave the house and live with me next year.
i'm just always anxious about the thought of meeting up, but i know he is who he says he is, so i'm not getting "catifished."
i was just wondering if anyone else has been in an ldr and has met up with their boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other?

;-;
You don't know how good you have it.
I'll probably have to wait 3 years to meet boyfriend
We're 3100+ miles away ;c

[wickedbvnes]

this is just me, but i personally disapprove entirely of online relationships. they are only okay if you have a relative/friend that knows them WELL. online relationships are incredibly dangerous, and result in the deaths of some girls. for example, last week in my town a 14 year old girl got killed by a man who she met online. danger.

on a lighter note, my boyfriend is so cute <3 we were on the phone, and we said the same thing, and in a really adorable high-pitched voice he goes - 'we said the same thing! hehe'
his voice is in the middle of breaking, so it's hilarious.

[Thalassic]

this is just me, but i personally disapprove entirely of online relationships. they are only okay if you have a relative/friend that knows them WELL. online relationships are incredibly dangerous, and result in the deaths of some girls. for example, last week in my town a 14 year old girl got killed by a man who she met online. danger.

I'd say that it's definitely not a good idea to meet someone who you've just met trough the internet and havent actually met in real life, but if you've known each other for years (chatted, texted, called, videochatted etc), then I don't think it's wrong to meet of both of you are okay with it.
Plus, if you think about it, if you meet someone irl for the first time, they might attack you as well. It's not exactly exclusive to the internet.

[raezel]

this is just me, but i personally disapprove entirely of online relationships. they are only okay if you have a relative/friend that knows them WELL. online relationships are incredibly dangerous, and result in the deaths of some girls. for example, last week in my town a 14 year old girl got killed by a man who she met online. danger.

I'd say that it's definitely not a good idea to meet someone who you've just met trough the internet and havent actually met in real life, but if you've known each other for years (chatted, texted, called, videochatted etc), then I don't think it's wrong to meet of both of you are okay with it.
Plus, if you think about it, if you meet someone irl for the first time, they might attack you as well. It's not exactly exclusive to the internet.

knowing this probably came from what i had said earlier i think i should pitch in.
to be perfectly honestly, zanjux is right. people face to face can be just as dangerous as those online.
yes, it's really dangerous to go running around giving out personal information and agreeing to meet up with someone you just talk to over text. but if you've seen video of them, talked to them on webcam, heard their voice, seen their face, and you have someone that knows them personally, i don't see as much danger. there's always risks, but that doesn't mean there aren't risks in face to face relationships either.

and maybe just to clear things up, i have complete trust in my boyfriend even though he's two states away. i know a good three people that went to school with him for years and can assure he is who he is. i've talked to his family members while on a call on skype, even. he's talked to mine in the same fashion. the way i made that first little tidbit of dialogue from the both of us made it sound like we just came up with the idea to live together, when in reality, it's floated around in our head for months. my parents are willing to support him in coming up here (he'll be old enough to move out whereas i still live with my parents; there's a few years between us) and my father assured me he'd get my boyfriend a job up here so he could make a living. even if he was a danger in any way, i would have other people there with me, my own parents, at the time we'd meet up. it's not like i would be alone with the guy, facing serious danger without protection.

i guess to sum it up altogether, there's risks in any relationship. yes, especially online relationships, but it's not like the risk cannot be trimmed down just slightly to make sure it's okay. where you hear so many horrible stories about "catfishing" and "predators" there's also the actually successful relationships that ignite online over social media.

and i don't mean for this to sound rude, not in the slightest! that's as far away as my goal was with this.
i thought i might just add my own opinion to the table, so don't pay much mind to it. uvu

[wickedbvnes]

this is just me, but i personally disapprove entirely of online relationships. they are only okay if you have a relative/friend that knows them WELL. online relationships are incredibly dangerous, and result in the deaths of some girls. for example, last week in my town a 14 year old girl got killed by a man who she met online. danger.

I'd say that it's definitely not a good idea to meet someone who you've just met trough the internet and havent actually met in real life, but if you've known each other for years (chatted, texted, called, videochatted etc), then I don't think it's wrong to meet of both of you are okay with it.
Plus, if you think about it, if you meet someone irl for the first time, they might attack you as well. It's not exactly exclusive to the internet.

knowing this probably came from what i had said earlier i think i should pitch in.
to be perfectly honestly, zanjux is right. people face to face can be just as dangerous as those online.
yes, it's really dangerous to go running around giving out personal information and agreeing to meet up with someone you just talk to over text. but if you've seen video of them, talked to them on webcam, heard their voice, seen their face, and you have someone that knows them personally, i don't see as much danger. there's always risks, but that doesn't mean there aren't risks in face to face relationships either.

and maybe just to clear things up, i have complete trust in my boyfriend even though he's two states away. i know a good three people that went to school with him for years and can assure he is who he is. i've talked to his family members while on a call on skype, even. he's talked to mine in the same fashion. the way i made that first little tidbit of dialogue from the both of us made it sound like we just came up with the idea to live together, when in reality, it's floated around in our head for months. my parents are willing to support him in coming up here (he'll be old enough to move out whereas i still live with my parents; there's a few years between us) and my father assured me he'd get my boyfriend a job up here so he could make a living. even if he was a danger in any way, i would have other people there with me, my own parents, at the time we'd meet up. it's not like i would be alone with the guy, facing serious danger without protection.

i guess to sum it up altogether, there's risks in any relationship. yes, especially online relationships, but it's not like the risk cannot be trimmed down just slightly to make sure it's okay. where you hear so many horrible stories about "catfishing" and "predators" there's also the actually successful relationships that ignite online over social media.

and i don't mean for this to sound rude, not in the slightest! that's as far away as my goal was with this.
i thought i might just add my own opinion to the table, so don't pay much mind to it. uvu

i fail to see how you can meet someone in real life for the first time. do you mean, just randomly walking up to a stranger and saying hey? common sense would tell anyone no, don't do that.

it is slightly better if you have skyped, called,etc. i lost a close friend because of this, so i will always disapprove of entirely online realtionships.

[Thalassic]

I'd say that it's definitely not a good idea to meet someone who you've just met trough the internet and havent actually met in real life, but if you've known each other for years (chatted, texted, called, videochatted etc), then I don't think it's wrong to meet of both of you are okay with it.
Plus, if you think about it, if you meet someone irl for the first time, they might attack you as well. It's not exactly exclusive to the internet.

knowing this probably came from what i had said earlier i think i should pitch in.
to be perfectly honestly, zanjux is right. people face to face can be just as dangerous as those online.
yes, it's really dangerous to go running around giving out personal information and agreeing to meet up with someone you just talk to over text. but if you've seen video of them, talked to them on webcam, heard their voice, seen their face, and you have someone that knows them personally, i don't see as much danger. there's always risks, but that doesn't mean there aren't risks in face to face relationships either.

and maybe just to clear things up, i have complete trust in my boyfriend even though he's two states away. i know a good three people that went to school with him for years and can assure he is who he is. i've talked to his family members while on a call on skype, even. he's talked to mine in the same fashion. the way i made that first little tidbit of dialogue from the both of us made it sound like we just came up with the idea to live together, when in reality, it's floated around in our head for months. my parents are willing to support him in coming up here (he'll be old enough to move out whereas i still live with my parents; there's a few years between us) and my father assured me he'd get my boyfriend a job up here so he could make a living. even if he was a danger in any way, i would have other people there with me, my own parents, at the time we'd meet up. it's not like i would be alone with the guy, facing serious danger without protection.

i guess to sum it up altogether, there's risks in any relationship. yes, especially online relationships, but it's not like the risk cannot be trimmed down just slightly to make sure it's okay. where you hear so many horrible stories about "catfishing" and "predators" there's also the actually successful relationships that ignite online over social media.

and i don't mean for this to sound rude, not in the slightest! that's as far away as my goal was with this.
i thought i might just add my own opinion to the table, so don't pay much mind to it. uvu

i fail to see how you can meet someone in real life for the first time. do you mean, just randomly walking up to a stranger and saying hey? common sense would tell anyone no, don't do that.

it is slightly better if you have skyped, called,etc. i lost a close friend because of this, so i will always disapprove of entirely online realtionships.

just like common sense would tell anyone not to meet up with that person you just met online.

[thunderofthedrum]

Eh, I personally feel that video chatting can help tremendously. You can at least see that they are about the age they say they are, the gender they claim to be, etc. Sure it's not 100% foolproof but someone could lie in person as well. Both online and in person someone could lie about their exact age, their name, their nationality, their career, etc. The veil of anonymity online is indeed dangerous, but there are ways to be safer than just running off to meet up with someone whose face you have never even seen.

I feel that parents or a trusted friend should be involved when people meet for the same time, also it's good for said parents/friends to see the face online. It's also advisable to meet in a public place, not just show up at the house of a complete stranger who could yank you in the door to never be seen again.

There are ways to lessen the risk but it will never be entirely eliminated - there will always be the risk of being lied to about other things, of being hurt, betrayed, rejected, etc. There is even the risk of being together for five years, breaking up, and then feeling like you wasted that much time, energy, and even money in a relationship that was doomed for failure.

[MoBo]

i am so heartbroken.. i made the mistake in my relationship so its all my fault... but i love this guy so much. i need tpo get over him. i thought i was but i guess not.. what thhe heck do i do... :'( </3