Lollipops. Lollipops annoy me. Or more accurately, lollipop manufacturers annoy me.
When I buy a bag of lollipops, no matter the brand, I pretty much want only the watermelon and cherry ones, and maybe the root beer flavor if they have it.
But, somehow, those flavors always seem to be in the least quantity of the whole damn package.
Lollipop makers, when will you learn that no one actually likes mango-flavored lollies? Or blueberry? Or caramel or lemon or orange?
Do you think old people like lemon-flavored lollies? Is that it? Do you have some sort of secretive target group who love caramel-flavored lollies, who no one else has ever known about?
I swear that when I grow up, I will buy a lolly-making factory and make only watermelon- and cherry-flavored lollies, and maybe root beer-flavored ones on the weekend, and I will put all you other yucky-flavored lolly-making companies out of business.
Because when I do buy that factory, I will make BILLIONS.
Millions and millions of people will switch from buying your lollies to buying mine. Grocery stores and gas stations won't be able to keep enough in stock for the amount of people who want to buy them. I'll have to open a second lolly-making factory across the country, just so the trucks (and planes, because so many people will want my lollies that I will have to ship them by air) don't have to travel so far to deliver their loads of lollies.
And then you all will learn what you did wrong.
When I buy a bag of lollipops, no matter the brand, I pretty much want only the watermelon and cherry ones, and maybe the root beer flavor if they have it.
But, somehow, those flavors always seem to be in the least quantity of the whole damn package.
Lollipop makers, when will you learn that no one actually likes mango-flavored lollies? Or blueberry? Or caramel or lemon or orange?
Do you think old people like lemon-flavored lollies? Is that it? Do you have some sort of secretive target group who love caramel-flavored lollies, who no one else has ever known about?
I swear that when I grow up, I will buy a lolly-making factory and make only watermelon- and cherry-flavored lollies, and maybe root beer-flavored ones on the weekend, and I will put all you other yucky-flavored lolly-making companies out of business.
Because when I do buy that factory, I will make BILLIONS.
Millions and millions of people will switch from buying your lollies to buying mine. Grocery stores and gas stations won't be able to keep enough in stock for the amount of people who want to buy them. I'll have to open a second lolly-making factory across the country, just so the trucks (and planes, because so many people will want my lollies that I will have to ship them by air) don't have to travel so far to deliver their loads of lollies.
And then you all will learn what you did wrong.






















































