by icicle1107 » Sun May 11, 2014 8:04 am
Dear A,
Something is off between us. This is weird. Maybe it's been because of my extreme unstableness last week or maybe because of part of that you needed me and I wasn't there for you. And I hate myself for that. I think that your level of trust that I would always be there for you went down and because of something you did, you know what I am talking about, I lost some as well. We need time alone together to work this out. I don't want to talk about it on the phone or where other people are around and all you know right now is what I told you over text. And text isn't really the best way for us to work this out...I may be able to talk more over text but that is only because I have time to think about what I am going to say. I miss talking to you, like actually talking. I guess I just miss you.
I'm extremely stressed out right now between fringe and the AP test and essays and homework. And on top of that is was really, really emotionally unstable. Worse than I have been in months. But it's over now. That part is over and I love you but we need to actually talk!!
please forgive me for what I have said and in return I will forgive you for what you have done,
~icicle1107
Dear K,
Thank you for yesterday during class. It's made me think a lot and for the first time in a long time my mind was blank and peaceful. I haven't felt that in a while. I want too learn more, I have so many questions but I need to do this one step at a time. You say I'm already stronger than most and I can become stronger. I want to learn. I want to learn to heal, to help people. I want to be able to do it from distances, for more than one person. But I must be patient. I am only allowed to work in light blue, pink, and white right now. More would drain me and would be dangerous. The other colors I have seen, orange and red I can't touch. Sometimes I don't even see the colors, they just come into my mind. Like yesterday when I said blue. my mind fixed on a spot and said blue, I didn't see it right away. And then again when we were all healing K (different K) I simply knew where things were, I looked at her shoulder and said there! It's like heat almost, everything feels cool except where the energy is. I cleaned her stomach and I just moved my hand over her and where it felt warm and tingly I pulled until it strained in my mind before I cut it, releasing it to the sun. J blessed her and you asked me to find the points of energy feeding into him, through him and into K. I could physically see one of them and the rest I found by heat, you said they were angels. This confuses me because I knew something was there but I cant see their figure, they look like an orb of white energy tinted with pale blue. Also, I'm not a spiritual person, I don't have a religion, I don't believe in God. So how then could they be angels? And yet I believe that they were. You've got me confused. But I want to learn. I feel like this will make me a better person. Perhaps it may help with me and A. IDK
Thank you for showing me the lights,
~icicle1107
g,
what's going on between you and J? He went home with you right? I'M CURIOUS!!!!
I wish you the best,
~icicle1107
PS we should have a sleep over or something soon, catch up. I miss talking to you and things are weird with A right now and I need someone to talk to