Dear Aidan, Ex Boyfriend, Ex Friend, Whatever.
What happened, it doesn't even make sense. You can't say you love someone and then just, just leave. And your reason for leaving: My friends? You're not in a relationship with my friends, it's just an excuse, I can tell. But I loved you. I loved you so much, its just unbearable to think about. All the silly little things we did, inside jokes we had, everything, it's all gone because you got bored, or tired of trying. Yes, we argued more recently, but that was because you had stopped putting in the effort. You began breaking all your promises, like the second chance that I gave you meant nothing anymore. You never deserved that second chance. Then you spread rumors about me, calling me 'frigid' and saying I wouldn't do anything in the relationship, but you only did that because it sounded believable, and was less embarrassing than the fact that it was you. You were the 'frigid' one, and you always have been, but I respected you for that because I didn't want to be rushed into anything. Yet you still do that to me, but then have the cheek to deny it and want to be friends, ect. Then also with that other girl, Emily, you went off and snogged her, met up with her, whatever, when you had said you were planning on getting back with me. That was just like kicking me when I was down, I didn't think your heart could break twice, but clearly you're skilled at doing that. You never snogged me. And then the first girl you see a few days after our relationship ended, you do it with her. I was with you for 7 months in total, if you add it all up. And never once. All of that hurt, I'll admit, but I was so thankful, so grateful what happened next. When you got punched in the face by that year 11, the satisfaction I felt was just bliss, karma is a beautiful thing, although that still doesn't compare to the pain you put me through, surely you're due some more at some point? I know its harsh to laugh at what happened, but I did, and you deserved it. And then that bit*h you snogged, someone who claimed to be my friend got ditched also, she was simply a rebound girl to make me jealous. That felt good. To know that you needed to use all that effort just to make me jealous, to try and prove a point, I mustve been important hmm? And then I was talking to you, I simply asked if it was true about you getting hit in the face, and you got angry, and so did I, and you admit defeat, you admit everything.
You told me that you couldn't get over me.
You told me the reason you tried to be horrible, and hurt me was to make it easier.
If he could find something to blame me for, it would be easier to move on.
But I was innocent, I had done nothing wrong.
And he was sorry.
But where does that leave us now Aidan? Because now we don't talk. Nothing.
I'm over you now, I think so. It still stings when I see your name, or your face, but thats just natural. I dont care that you flirt with loads of other girls now, I dont really miss you either, I just miss the memories.
I'm sorry I'm so hard to get over, but thats your fault, you should've never let me go,
Especially for no reason.
-Chessu.
Dear Simon,
Wow we have history, I've only ever had two boyfriends, ever, and you were my first, from year 7. We were so young, and I was so silly, so stupid for falling in love with you. It took me a whole year to get over you, probably more, but I still love you, I can't really hide it. Not like that anymore, I don't think, no where near as intensely, but I've never forgotten about you, despite everything. You never treated me wrong, although you did leave me out of the blue, for no reason. But it's okay. We were best friends before, and even more so after the relationship, I know you so well. But then you got new girlfriends and stuff, and we drifted apart.
But recently we've been talking again, and I'm confused.
I think I like you, well yes, I've always liked you, but do you like me, like that? Do you?
I'm so unsure, you come across that way, but I dunno, you might be like that all the time, it's been a while and you're quite flirtatious anyway.
Gosh.
Please tell me, give me a sign, anything.
You're exactly what I need right now.
-Chessu. x
Dear Jenni,
You're my best friend okay, all I did was try to help you, and support you, and then you try and rub it in my face that you told some other girl that you began self harming and not me, you rub it in my face that she helped you stop and I didn't.
I can't believe you,
I can't believe you thought I would judge you or whatever,
Its as if you dont know me, all of my friends self harm, just because I never have doesn't mean I'll judge you. I never judged my friends, I helped them through it, I helped ALL of them stop.
Just ugh.
-Chessu. x