Things That Amuse You! Thread Five!

[folle]

Let's have some more blonde jokes!

How do you trap a blonde?
Cut the power while they are on an escalator.


One day, a blonde accidently locked herself out of her car in a rainstorm. Her car got swamped -its top was down.


This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and
smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living
room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks
what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him
that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by
painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

[the d]

The fact that the local library is literally my second home.
I'm here all the time, and everyone knows me by my first name. Some of the librarians and I even have inside jokes.

[calippygian]

Let's have some more blonde jokes!

How do you trap a blonde?
Cut the power while they are on an escalator.


One day, a blonde accidently locked herself out of her car in a rainstorm. Her car got swamped -its top was down.


This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and
smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living
room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks
what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him
that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by
painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

i like the first one XD

[folle]

BAHAHA this one made me laugh.

This blonde walked into a party store and asked the cashier if he had a hanger or something to unlock her car because she locked her keys in the car. He nodded and handed her a hanger. She thanked him and went outside to set to work. A little while later the cashier decided to check on her and saw her working at it and another blonde in the car was saying "a little to the left...no, a little to the right..."

[calippygian]

BAHAHA this one made me laugh.

This blonde walked into a party store and asked the cashier if he had a hanger or something to unlock her car because she locked her keys in the car. He nodded and handed her a hanger. She thanked him and went outside to set to work. A little while later the cashier decided to check on her and saw her working at it and another blonde in the car was saying "a little to the left...no, a little to the right..."

XD

i have one:

a blonde walks into a barber shop with headphones on her head. she told the barber "i dont care what you do, just make it layered to my shoulders."
he protests and says she must take off her headphones in order for him to set to work.
she says she cant, or she will die.
frusterated, the barber snatched the headphones from her, and sure enough, she dropped dead.
he wondered what she was listening to, so he put them on:

"breath in....breath out"

sorry if that one is offensive ^^

also,

how do you kill a blonde?
tell her that theres a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

sorry if that one is offensive too ^^

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What did I just watch? x'D

[CodeOtter]

BAHAHA this one made me laugh.

This blonde walked into a party store and asked the cashier if he had a hanger or something to unlock her car because she locked her keys in the car. He nodded and handed her a hanger. She thanked him and went outside to set to work. A little while later the cashier decided to check on her and saw her working at it and another blonde in the car was saying "a little to the left...no, a little to the right..."

XD

i have one:

a blonde walks into a barber shop with headphones on her head. she told the barber "i dont care what you do, just make it layered to my shoulders."
he protests and says she must take off her headphones in order for him to set to work.
she says she cant, or she will die.
frusterated, the barber snatched the headphones from her, and sure enough, she dropped dead.
he wondered what she was listening to, so he put them on:

"breath in....breath out"

sorry if that one is offensive ^^

also,

how do you kill a blonde?
tell her that theres a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

sorry if that one is offensive too ^^

oh gosh XD

a blond tells a dude "i know all the capitals of the states, go and quiz me!"
the dude asks: "fine, whats the capital of Washington"
the blond answers: "DUH! W!"

[synthwave]

Some of the people on America's Got Talent.

Just.
omg. xDD

[riddlestyx]

Everything about this omg
PewDiePie <3

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I just put the word "chaotician" in the search box out of boredom.
Turns out I'm the only person to have said it on CS. xD